Train them to… what? Get their shins instantly broken by someone with capped boots and realise real fights don’t have rules like UFC does? Cops have guns and tasers and stuff because they’ve already learned this won’t work.

On my way to work today two of these passed me, I was doing 40 in the city and they zipped by at 55-60 by my estimate. There was a passenger on the back of one, none of them were wearing helmets, and they were weaving in and out of traffic closely enough to touch each car. There was a red light up ahead so they just turned straight into the flow of traffic at a higher speed than I’d do in a car and kept going. I’m not at all surprised hospitals are seeing a lot of people from incidents involving these.

Usually it’s just a couple of kids driving through the parking lot and screaming at the top of their lungs every 15 minutes all weekend, and yeah that’s annoying but at least they aren’t as likely to get someone killed.

Henderson has not presented the morning show on Kiis since an on-air spat on 20 February, in which Sandilands mocked her for her interest in astrology. Speculation over whether she would return to the show has since run rife, culminating with the shock announcement the highest-paid partnership in media was over.

There’s no way that’s what ended a 20-year partnership, I wonder what really happened. Was that just the final straw in a long line of problems or was it something serious? A hundred million is a hell of a lot to throw away, I’d do a radio show for a couple of hours a day with that immortal snail that’ll kill me if it touches me for that much cash.

Desperate first home buyers have bid up the price of affordable properties as they face off against investors

Oh, those damn desperate first home buyers! Of course they aren’t deterred by rising rates, their choices are to pay $870,000 for a two-bedroom apartment, or be homeless. In October 2023 I bought a shitty little apartment for $310k (and only got it because the real estate agent said the seller wanted it to go to someone who needed to live in it rather than an investment), by mid 2024 other ones in the same building were going for $430k, one sold a month ago for $587k. It’s fucking insane.

I was pretty poor all through my 20s, I think the most I made at any time until I was 28 was $400 a week, and I never expected to own property until I started saving every extra cent for a hopeful deposit in 2022, looks like I got in at the last second. Good luck to any desperate first home buyers these days.

Bake him away, toys.

I don’t think they do convey the same information.

“They don’t know what the f*** they’re doing.” US President Donald Trump delivered an extraordinary four-letter outburst as he criticised breaches of the Israel-Iran ceasefire. Trump aimed the bulk of his anger at Israel, saying he would try to avert further planned attacks.

vs

Trump delivered an extraordinary four-letter outburst as he criticised breaches of the Israel-Iran ceasefire. Trump aimed the bulk of his anger at Israel, saying he would try to avert further planned attacks.

All the summary has done is remove the quote. That part IS the news that’s being reported on, it matters just as much as the context.

Qatar was the “obvious choice” for Iranian retaliation against the US because it hosts the largest US military base in the Middle East while also acting as a trusted intermediary for Tehran, Al Jazeera’s Dorsa Jabbari explained after the missile attack near Doha.

vs

Qatar was the “obvious choice” for Iranian retaliation against the US. It hosts the largest US military base in the Middle East.

This one has removed the source (which is fair enough if you think that’s not useful information, but I wouldn’t agree), one of the two reasons given, and the context. Someone who only sees this summary will have no idea what it’s about or how to look into it further, which means they’re going to have to read the (one sentence) article anyway.

As for paragraphs, yes. Text that looks like this

is not useful to anybody. I’m not reading this, you haven’t read this. It’s awful.

Obviously. Point is it’s either completely unreadable or completely unnecessary. Why are you summarising a postcard?

I’m like the only person here actually giving feedback. Make it readable and don’t waste people’s time summarising two sentences.

When I looked a couple of hours ago the first link’s summary was an enormous block of text with no formatting and the second was about 40 words summarised to 20.