“Scientists believe that these strange creatures used their spiky arms to spear their prey.”

That just sounds like torrenting, honestly.

“Excoriates” is a new one. Finally break out the thesaurus there, journos?

But also, are you telling me that they aren’t already under oath when in the courtroom?

If you’ve got the cash for it, getting a modern USB lightgun and emulating the classics is always an option. That’s what I’m planning on doing, myself.

Biblically accurate Jewish military!

Should have just called in sick anyway. Not like anyone would know different.