It’s obviously the fault of the shop workers and the customers! Raise prices and slash wages immediately! /s

The Gonk - Herbert Chappell

Those ghouls don’t deserve beans

Be a chap and pass me a cold Marmite, would you?

You went to a Constrictive Ball Torsion appointment rather than your Cognitive Behavioural Therapy appointment.

It’s the European name for truck nuts

“I want to tell you something, but please bend over first”

Don’t ever message me again you piece of sh17.

Putting a layer just inside your nostrils to catch pollen and help with hayfever

You found the recipe? I’m still reading about how the recipe reminds them of warm summer evenings walking along the banks of the river, shortly after they adopted their rescue pup but before the birth of their first child. I’m sure the ingredients list will turn up soon.

Me personally? No.

The drones can remain airborne for about eight minutes on a single battery charge

1. Hear drone
2. Hide for 8 minutes
3. Drone evaded

This is the first I’m heading of this ‘Nord Loneliness Epidemic’

Nicole?

Praise the prophets! A new toilet has been revealed unto me!

How do you get an elephant into a bikini?

1. Open bikini
2. Remove the manatee from the bikini
3. Open fridge
4. Remove elephant from fridge
5. Insert elephant into bikini
6. Close bikini

Meme was cut short.

“How’d they get the manatee in a bikini?
And is it single?”

Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢

A bit UK specific: this is Nigel Farage’s newest challenger in the Clacton by-election