I’ve been in your shoes before. Been there for a long time, years. This is not about knowing how to ask questions. It’s about anxiety and self image.

Maybe you’re seeing yourself as the new guy or as the introvert, the weirdo, the different. Try to not fixate on it.

I have two tips:

1- Accept that you have a personality, some will like it, some won’t. Instead of asking or faking interest, look for the people you find genuinely interesting and share your stuff with them. Small stuff, don’t need to overshare or be egocentric. “Today I saw something on youtube, …” “I don’t drink coffee because one time I…” “This new project seems interesting, I wonder if…”. That’s how the conversation picks up and you develop a connection.

2- There is a hyper-extrovert in the group. Just avoid him. It’s impossible to be around these people, they get frustrated when someone is not engaged in the conversation enough and they’ll start to be mean.

How big are your tits?

Do you mind me asking why do you want to avoid (what seems like) people in general?