Three things that might help:

Shared vulnerability. I’d say this is what you mean with “deep”. Others said it well, if you force it then it’s awkward.

Which brings me to the second thing: progressive self-disclosure. In other words, with each person you meet there’s a set of steps in a staircase. You meet everyone in level one. If you open up a bit and they walk up with you, you can continue going up a bit more and see if they go up with you a bit more. You need to notice where others are: are they visibly comfortable? Are they being enthusiastic about the topic?

The final thing is shared competence. Sometimes, talking “deep” is finding someone who knows the same stuff that you know about and you go on a wild ride, exploring your mental palaces and building new ones throughout the conversation. This also requires going up step by step.

If you’re kind and lucky, you will find people with whom you can have shared vulnerability and people with whom you can have shared competence.

Check out these resources that might help:

• Popular by Mitch Prinstein
• Crucial Conversations

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

Didn’t like the prize? Pivot 180 degrees without acknowledging why you played stupid games.

Thanks for your response. I’m glad the dog lived a life with you, someone who cared about them. I’m sorry the seizures got to her.

Just to clarify, my questions weren’t for a dog of mine. They are for a neighbor that seems to not care well for their dog, and their dog has seizures. A group of neighbors filed complaints already, and we’re waiting on the resolution. In the meantime, I wanted to understand what the dog could’ve been experiencing and what could be done while a dog is having a seizure. If the dog is in pain, the type of complaint is more serious than if not, so if the current complaints don’t change anything, maybe something can be done in the future to change the complaint.

Thanks for reaching out. Sorry for taking so long. Here are my questions regarding dogs with seizures: what do you do while a dog is having a seizure? Do you know what they may be experiencing?

I ask because I have a neighbor with a dog that is practically left alone most of the day and most of the night and sometimes has seizures that we can hear and that my neighbor confirmed via text messages. A long time ago we reported my neighbor to the local animal control body, but they claimed that they couldn’t do anything unless we could prove the animal was suffering. After collecting neighbor testimonies and recording ourselves in our homes listening to the dog (we had to prove that we were recording ourselves and not the neighbor), we filed a formal complaint. Now we’re waiting for animal control to take action

I guess my questions at this point are out of curiosity and compassion for the dog. In case the complaint doesn’t come to anything, maybe my questions can also be fodder for future, more effective complaints.

Thanks for the heads up!

Good.

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such frustrating experiences with coffee. I wonder if my experience could help you in navigating your experience.

When I order coffee I always see how they do it.

I don’t do it to complain. In fact, even if they get my order wrong I rarely ask for a change, because whatever they give me is usually alright.

I see how they do it because I’m curious. I like to know what their process is like. I like to know what machines they use. I like to know how they organize work in the coffee shop. I like to see their technique.

Because of this curiosity, I usually understand quite well why my coffee ends up the way it does.

Yes, I am a customer. Yes, I could insist that my drink has to be different. But I prefer to accept that life is unpredictable and that we are all human. And it’s usually alright.

Here’s a video that could help: https://youtu.be/OXbQx2hfA5k

@dessalines@lemmy.ml

“Deletes surveillance-capitalist social media to improve life. Immediately builds self-hosted social media and productivity systems to further improve life”

Which ones? I don’t.

I suppose your proposal can work: having standard questions with standard answers.

To make sure there’s consistency, maybe having a non-profit handling the whole thing could work. That way, there’s a standard application that people can fill in and standard responses that jobs can expect. Something like America’s Common App.

As to legality and the hiring criteria, I’m sorry if I misled you. I can assure you candidates were not being selected based on their blood. As I said earlier, the CV was given to the hiring decision-makers and the forms to HR.

It may sound baffling that people ask for information that may be duplicated. But for us to understand what was really going on, it’s worth explaining what was in the forms.

The forms asked for information that often were missing in CVs. Here’s a list of things that CVs usually didn’t have:

Bureaucracy-friendly considerations:

• A clear-cut distinction between first, middle, and last names. CV’s rarely spell it out.
• Government-issued ID. Never seen this in a CV.

Medical considerations:

• Blood type in case there’s an emergency. Never seen this in a CV.
• Emergency contact information. Never seen this in a CV.
• Allergies that the college should be aware of. Never seen this in a CV.
• Medical conditions that the college can provide accomodations for. Never seen it in a CV, although it probably exists.

Specific information:

• The specific role or roles that someone is applying to. Sometimes CVs are re-written to better fit the job they’re applying to, but I’ve rarely seen the specific role being written on the CV.
• Whether the applicant personally knows people in the institution, both to check for references and also to mitigate blatant conflicts of interest. I’ve never seen this in a CV.

There’s also the following practical consideration: reducing the time it takes to hire.

Here’s a way to think about it: Colleges have seasonal hiring sprees. In a matter of weeks there can be dozens of CVs coming HR’s way. HR needs to handle this. From HR’s point of view, receiving a CV with incomplete information means HR needs to send your application to the back of the line and ask you to give HR the information it needs to hire you. These errors increase your time-to-hire, HR’s workload, and everyone behind you’s time-to-hire.

Am I saying the system is perfect? Am I saying the system is not annoying? Am I saying we cannot improve it? No.

I’m laying out the problems, the constraints of the problems, and the existing solutions. As it stands CVs solve for different problems than forms. I don’t doubt we could arrive at better solutions over time, but I think that would require a different set of constraints than the ones we currently have.

Some are saying that it’s to have both human-readable and machine-readable data. I don’t doubt that some places do that. But others don’t.

I worked at a college HR and we asked candidates for a a bunch of stuff, including both a CV and a form.

The CV was given to whoever decided whether that person was hired or not.

The forms were given to HR, so that we could independently verify information and manually add information to the college’s records.

The one that says that conspiracy theories are used by elites to distract us from the real injustices and problems in this world.

Not fruit/veggie or tea, but something that’s probably going to sound insane.

You’re feeling strong anxiety. You want to get rid of it. This is called an avoidance goal. Avoidance goals, ironically, make us feel worse. How? Here’s an example:

• These stimuli make me feel anxious!
• I better take my Magic Anti-Anxiety Tea.
• I just drank it and I feel better.
• It’s so good to no longer feel anxiety.
• Oh no. I’m remembering the anxiety.
• I’m starting to feel the anxiety.
• I’m anxious.
• Better move on to other ways to avoid anxiety!

This is one of the mechanisms that lead to generalized anxiety. It happens because our brains have ways of connecting ideas quickly.

So is there no escape? Yes there is.

Instead of trying to get rid of anxiety, we can see it differently. We can change its role in our lives.

And we can do it without avoidance goals. Instead, we can do it with approach goals. We can move toward what matters. We can move to living a valued life. We can get closer to the kind of person that we want to be.

We are not alone in this journey. There’s plenty of wise and rigorous people who have discovered the way out. Some of them have developed mindfulness methods. Others have developed acceptance and commitment therapy. There’s many other approaches that are evidence-based and have helped millions of people around the world.

Let me know if you want resources or have questions. I really hope you get to take steps toward the life that you want to live.

Gotten anything positive out of interacting with other users?

You bet. All the time!

I feel belonging. In addition, whenever someone tells me they find what I say helpful, it feels great!

I think Lemmy also helps me calibrate my sensors that sense the world. I know what software’s doing well, what software’s not doing so well, and what software is complex.

Ah. You’re right. It’s not obvious.

You seem to care about truth, validity, and honesty.

I know trusting a stranger on the internet sounds absurd. But is it really impossible for someone to have had a coincidence in their day? Or for someone to really like something and share it?

Here’s what it ultimately comes down to: would you distrust me if I simply promised it’s true? What if it’s a digital pinky promise? What if it’s a digital double-pinky promise? Heck, I didn’t think it’d come down to this, but if you’re down to take off one of your shoes we could have a digital triple-pinky promise. I’d offer a quadruple-pinky promise but that seems too decadent.

You’re right! Only few people can do those poses! And only few people can draw them. I suppose we have a potential cycle:

• trained gymnast does pose
• freezeframe capture
• trained drawer draws pose
• drawing is shared
• repeat

lol literally yesterday this arrived in my inbox: https://gmb.io/hip-flexors/

Obviously I’m not paid by them and I’m not affiliated with them. I just like their stuff and they’re my main exercise

This is amazing in two directions.

Direction 1: she does the JoJo poses so well

Direction 2: the JoJo artists captured true human poses so well

What do you mean, Johnny Enzyme? What is your take on attention spans?