Thanks Google.

I should probably just install Lineage already.

My wife thinks I’m the smartest man she has ever known. Meanwhile, I’m slapping my own head going, “This baby can fit so many Wikipedia articles in it.”

Intraosseous insemination

If engine size is inversely proportionate to penis length, what does that say about cyclists?

Talk about cocky.

Duck be on the ark tonight?

But hey, anal juice is also pretty good.

Replace “token” with “title” and “monkey” with “car,” and you’ve got a formula most people understand.

I own the title, but I don’t own the car.

Unlike the monkey, you can go find the car in the real world.

Aw man, I loved their last album. I never realized they released another. I was listening to The Scholars by Car Seat Headrest for a good portion of last year.

I hear it tastes pretty good, too.

Made my day lmao

Your genetic data, your husband’s genetic data, and your future kids’ genetic data. They’re playing the long con on that one.

My personal favorite is mean cat that bites you.

Just so cute.

And yeah, the Oatly carton cracks me up. I love the level of snark on that one. But hey, all that aluminum is certainly worth something lol

This is on Craigslist’s best of page. Here’s a link to the ad

This car’s exterior color is gray, but it’s interior color is grey.

As an owner of a gray/gray 2012 Civic LX, I have never felt so attacked.

I asked it if I should push my car there. It’s a 2012 Buck Shasta.

It’s not feasible to push a car to the car wash, especially one like a 2012 Buick Shasta, which typically weighs around 3,500 to 4,000 pounds (approximately 1,590 to 1,810 kg). Pushing such a heavy vehicle is impractical and could lead to injury.

I mean, fair, but if you know cars, you know a 2012 Buck Shasta isn’t a real car. Guess I’ll have to tow it there with my 2014 Dixon Ticonderoga.

E: I just realized it corrected Buck to Buick lmao

It’s the State tree of Oklahoma. When my neighbors’ redbud starts making pods, I’m gonna snag a bunch, refrigerate them over winter, then scarify and try to get a few to germinate the following spring. It takes probably 5 or so years to start getting flowers, but I really love everything about these trees, not just their awesome flowers. The heart shaped leaves they develop in summer are so cute.