Scenario: It’s night, and a man is walking home. He sees ahead there is a woman going in the opposite direction as him. Knowing not to stop or approach her, but his presence makes her nervous. What would help further in this scenario if anything?
Grandma used to say nothing breaks the ice like breaking wind so give a friendly toot as you pass.
I read somewhere that if an FBI agent is spotted by someone they are surveilling, they start picking their nose as a way to immediately seem normal and uninterested in the person. So you might be on to something.
Nothing will help this scenario with just 2 people.
You have to add a third party. The man needs to have a female companion, or a happy friendly dog.
If I walk alone, my 250 pound, six foot talk frame is viewed as a threat. If I take my brother’s highly animated German spotted pointer with me, people approach me and want to pet the puppy.
One of the things I hate about the way I look is people are scared of me. Feels like just to exist somewhere, I either accept I’ll be treated as a “thug”, or I need to actively project an aura of civility. It’s exhausting either way.
Totally different social experience if I have any feminine-looking person with me; people are suddenly nice and welcoming. Like I’ve been “vetted” as normal.
Ah, so that’s how you get them into the van.
Candy helps too.
The pup still doesn’t want to go in the van. It’s still afraid of the vet
Play dead, women are like bears.
Sometimes I’ll cross the street if it’s safe and won’t have to immediately recross to get where I’m going. If not I just keep walking and keep my eyes to myself, as long as you’re not being a staring creepass or looking her up and down you’re fine.
You are already so far past being fuckin normal to make anything normal in any scenario so stop trying. The more you try to act normal the weirder you seem to everyone around you. Who the fuck puts this much thought into walking past someone. If you are really this nervous about it. Burry your head into your phone and be oblivious to anyone you walk past and accept the risk you might walk into traffic if there are no headlights on a vehicle.
Man: walks at night
You are so far past being fuckin normal.
I used to jog really late in the evening for many years and had this experience more than once.
My solution: Put my hands palm out flat in front of me as if to gesture I wasn’t a threat.
If walking, doing something similar and not making it weird is probably equally good.
I’m sorry but that is not, not making it weird.
Apparently I’m more prejudiced than I realized, cuz ig I expect joggers to be weird… like a jogger doing that wouldn’t weird me out but someone just walking by doing that? Definitely weird.
No hate to joggers tho, weird but harmless is nice variety
I’m a chick. That would weird me out. I’d rather people just keep doing their thing or offer a friendly nod.
Ignore her?
Does anyone remember that Vine where the guy is filming himself walking at night and says “oh there’s a woman walking alone up there. I better catch up to her and let her know I’m not a threat” as he starts sprinting? Damn vine used to be fun
Rape jokes are so funny
Agree, Jimmy Carr absolutely nails them!
You think that’s a rape joke? The fuck is wrong with you?
The joke is he’s doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing to ease her mind. That’s the joke. Not that he was going to sprint up and assault her. Maybe you need to get off the internet for a while.
Running fast towards a woman at night in order to scare her is the joke.
What do you think a woman is scared of when a strange man runs at her while she’s alone at night?
What’s the punchline?
You think he was really walking behind someone? He wasn’t. It was a joke. Relax.
What’s the punchline?
Why is it funny to make women scared?
The joke is that his actions would have the opposite outcome to what he desired. He wanted to put her mind at ease, instead he’d scare the shit out of her. End of. I don’t see how I’m having to explain this to you.
What would the woman be scared of when a strange man runs at her at night?
Rape and murder.
It’s a rape joke. Say it with your chest instead of trying to deny that you found a misogynistic joke funny and funny enough to retell it.
I usually just say something like “good evening” and continue walking and you immediately see the other person relax.
Just be polite and ignore them, I guess
I just treat random people passing all the same. A quick friendly smile and a hello. If the stranger wants to talk then we talk but it’s usually a couple of words in passing.
People can pick up a lot of information from someone they see walking towards them. They can tell by your gait, your body movements, and facial expressions (if you’re close enough to see them) whether you might be a threat or not. As a man in this situation who has never and will never be a threat to women I think that comes across in subtle ways without having to say a word. And since someone I didn’t know at a party came up to me and said I had the kindest face they’ve ever seen, that also works in my favor. When we finally pass each other I always say hello and smile and keep on walking. And if you do see a woman walking towards you don’t do anything stupid like slow down or stop or walk with your head down with your hands in your pockets. Ol
Take out your phone and pretend to look at it while you side-eye them aggressively. Everyone loves that!
Clean the lens of your meta glasses
Reverse the question and you’ll understand why it can be so depressing to be a man.
What are you getting at? I might be misinterpreting you, but it sounds like you’re implying that it’s not depressing to be a woman in this situation (I.e if we don’t reverse the question)
Don’t try to chat up women at night. There is no scenario of a strange man being interested in me while it’s dark that I’ll be receptive to. It’s impossible for your line to be so good I’ll stop seeing you as dangerous.
A simple hello and see how it goes
