Humans, of course.
I’d like to speak to tardigrades in Inuktitut. I’m pretty sure neither of us speak or understand it, it’s just something I’d like to do.
Trees
Athene brama, Athene cunicularia, Athene noctua, Bubo ascalaphus, Bubo bubo, Bubo cinerascens, Bubo virginianus, Megascops kennicottii, Megascops asio, and the overly-specific list goes on (basically, Athene, Bubo, Megascops, maybe Micrathene and Glaucidium, but mostly the first triad I’m hyper-obsessed with because most of them share this same spiritual force, this same… Lilithian energy, when they’re not embodying Stolas (with his specific manifestation being, I guess, Bubo bubo)).
Maybe Corvus cornix and Corvus moneduloides (oh, hello, Lucifer, long time no see! How’s it going?), maybe Dendroaspis polylepis as well.
As for the language? None in particular, maybe Enochian, Egyptian or Sumerian if I gained (through gnosis) the ability to understand these as if these were my secondary languages… but I guess this kind of communication benefits from some kind of telepathic, raw, non-linguistic communication, which would convey way more information than all human languages together, which have limits on what can be signified, with requirements of “beingness”, “thingness” and “timefulness” (i.e. most languages can’t translate the concept of “existent non-existence that have been happening since the eternal timelessness” without leading to this very kind of surreal phrasing between the quotes).
cats. they are either the dumbest creatures on the planet or the most cunning smartasses.
Agreed. I have one of each. Or at least that’s how it seems. Maybe all cats are both at the same time?
Personally, I choose the Mourning Doves. I’d like to be able to let some of them know that it’s ok to move if their significant other passes.
Also to use them to gather information, or send them on little flight retrieval missions for coins and trinkets and what not.
Crows. I think they would have stuff to say.
I suspect crows would be gossipy little old ladies.
You could also make it like a fun Hitchcock thing where you can tell them which influencer/scammer/politician to harass for a full day and just watch the chaos unfold.
They, like parrots, can also mimic speech
They are known to hold inter-generational grudges.
Mess with one crow and it will warn the whole family about you.
Especially its children.
No joke.
So… good luck.That’s why I always tell my dog on walks “Crows are Bros” and never let him bother them.
We’ve got a few crow friends, they follow us on our dog walk and will now come within 2 feet of our dog to ask for dog treats or peanuts. Another dog came near the crows and our dog went into guarding mode… So I think she figured out they are bros
Last spring (not this past spring, but last year) I came across a fledgling crow on the ground when I was walking my dog. It was on our normal dog walk route and I checked in on it daily, giving it space. After 3 days or so I gave it some water and did some reading about fledgling birds and all that. After it had been on the ground for a week I called an animal rescue and they came and checked on it and sure enough, it was injured so they took it.
Just about every day the crows caw and click at me when we walk. I don’t know if they recognize us and are scolding us or if they’re just doing crow things. I hope they dont think too poorly of me, I was trying to help.
They definitely knows something
Octopi would be awesome to speak with. Or really any intelligent deep sea creature
ohh I have so many questions for octopus. let me know if you develop this skill
Well, I have chickens, so that’s the obvious answer. But I already know what they’d say and it amounts to “feed me” 24/7
So, the next obvious answer is dogs because I love them so much. But, beyond the fantasy of it, I suspect that would end up depressing as fuck because not every dog has a good life, so what they say might drive me to homicide.
Which leaves rats. I’d go with “rodents” given the choice, but if I can only pick one, rats are the most problematic overall. The chance to talk to them and maybe negotiate them buggering off instead of getting killed would be both awesome, and possibly profitable when successful.
Snarky reply: humans.
Actual reply: dogs. I already talk to my dog in English
Looks at the precise wording
The Yellow Slime Mold, I want to know what an amoeba thinks and what better than the worlds smartest one?
Picture for reference, and yes it’s all one cell:
cats, solely so i could speak to my little girl.
Dogs, but only so I can yell “bark” at them in their language
The answer is beetles I would command them to band together and take over the world.
Ants in Gaelic.
- They’re ubiquitous
- They have a very different lifestyle, so would be super interesting to talk to
- They eat all sorts of things, can get anywhere, and can fuck up electronics. Seems like a nice friend to have…
- They are warlike and territorial, so I’m hoping for some leeway in terms of judgment for what humans have done to the planet.
Gaelic because whimsy
