If so, why do you want them / how do you like it?
I hope this can be more of a wholesome post about cute stories, instead of more dooming and glooming.
I have 3 little goblins. 13yo boy, twin 11yo girls.
I love being dad. It’s been hard. It’s been miserable. It has made me grow into a better person. It has made me more tolerant and loving and caring and understanding. It’s been absolutely joyous and fun too.
One has been my sous chef and I’ve loved teaching her all about cooking. It started when she was probably 6, I’d let her help make dinner by stirring a bowl of ingredients or something easy. Now she makes entire multi course dinners on her own, at 11.
One is my snuggler and talker and just a chill sweet calm and kind soul. She loves stuffed animals and does tap jazz ballet pop dance.
One is our “animal whisperer” and has a magical presence around animals that somehow can get them to do what she wants. Maybe because she is semi-feral herself the animals understand her on a deep spiritual level.
One is an artist. He got into pencil sketches a year or so ago and has really spent a lot of time practicing and learning techniques and figuring out his unique style. He draws cute characters and dragons and video game characters and I am so impressed by it all.
Two of them love camping and being outdoors like me.
All 3 love video games and reading and being outside like me. All 3 love laughing and being silly and jokes and memes. All 3 love animals and love our pet cats.
I can’t even imagine not being a dad.
However, and I can’t stress this enough, parenting isn’t for everyone. And that’s ok! If being a parent doesn’t feel like the thing for you, then don’t do it! And don’t feel guilty for that decision either. Some people have kids, some are the close aunty/unc, some have nothing to do with raising kids and all of that is fine. Don’t let society or family pressure you to do something if you know it isn’t for you. Society isn’t going to be there at 3am when your newborn cries.
But for me, I love it, can’t imagine not being dad. Love teaching them things, love watching them grow and learn, love seeing their unique personalities and styles develop, love who they are becoming, love being a part of that.
I have six and I’m not taking any more, sorry pal!
Jim Gaffigan’s reply to someone e asking what it’s like to have 6 kids is “Imagine you’re drowing, and someone throws you a baby.”
the baby is buoyant enough.
And for me, it just seems so wholesome to raise someone, and spend time with them and things, so I do want them, just not yet, as I dont have the means.
I’ve got a couple of them.
Preference for plants about the house these days but having younglings can be handy to just to keep up with the lingo, high dpi cat memes, trying to understand why 9,000 loom bands isn’t enough and interacting with local medical services in the witching hour.
I’d borrow some of various ages for a bit first to test the water, owners are often more than happy to outsource them to the point of bearing gifts and wine just for a modicum of reprieve.
I have 2, boy almost 19 and girl 15… they are the best people I know and the only thing that makes me hopeful for the future
They are and will always be the best I have done with my life
I was raised to believe it was just part of the American dream, 2.5 kids, house, etc, and my parents had me super young(16/f and 19/m). So when I got my girlfriend pregnant at 21, I was overjoyed.
In hindsight I wish I could’ve waited maybe 4 years before making the attempt, that would’ve made things tremendously easier.
That said my kids are wonderful, especially my youngest who is quickly becoming a responsible guy, driving and about to interview for his first job at 18 and looking to get into medical school as his career path.
My oldest sadly has a lot of trouble with narcolepsy and autism that hinder him in a lot of ways, I’m trying to support him the best I can to get him to be self sustaining, but I don’t know when that will happen.
I don’t think I’ll end up with grandkids, but honestly I’m just happy to see my kids succeed. After 2 kids though I knew I was done having more, and now that’s impossible with my wife getting a hysterectomy.
No thanks, I’m vegetarian
One kiddo. Quickly became the best season of my life. Not easiest season by any means but best.
I’m at a pretty stable point in life so I believe becoming a father is just the next step. It’s something I want to do while I still have the energy of youth.
No kids, no plan on having kids. Too expensive
Definitely want kids in the future (adopted AND birthed if that’s a word)!
The world has tons of beauty to witness and look at. So many things to do! So many amazing people to meet, be friends with and chill out with! So many celestial bodies to learn about! Just so much of cool stuff to do.
That being said, I highly doubt I’d be comfortable having kids for at least 7 more years. I kinda want to live the fuck out of my “no responsibility”/edgy phase, while create the material conditions necessary to raise kids.
I know I’ll get there eventually though. Having kids is expensive, but not prohibitively expensive (at least where I live).
Have kids. Love my kids. I never thought I’d love having kids the way I do. They are some of my favorite people on the planet.
That said…
Kids are not for everyone. Having kids can be really hard on you, it would suck to discover you hate parenting after having kids. I probably wouldn’t have kids today given global geopolitical issues and the climate crisis.
I worked with a guy a bit older than me and once he told me “you know, I love my kids and would never regret them, but if I had life to live over, I don’t know I’d have them again”.
I have a three year old. He was right.
She just brought me pretend water I didn’t ask for from the water dispenser on the fridge. She used to bring me real water but I disabled it after my laptop was sitting in water one morning.
In my experience, the “terrible twos” are a dream vacation compared to three-year-olds.
Hang in. It gets easier soon.
This is exactly what I didnt want to read
Dad of a 2.5 year old and a 2 monther
Don’t worry, give it another couple years and it gets worse.
Sorry, dude.
Best wishes to you that they walk an easier path.
Even then, it’s all worth it, and you’ll miss these days eventually.
(Dad of a 23 year old)
My advice is you’re on the fence about kids, don’t adopt.
We adopted because we thought “we’re actually pretty good at this, and hey, there are kids out there who desperately need a family”.
Let me tell you, it is so much harder, for so many reasons. I can’t even fully express it, it’s so much harder.
@Cocodapuf @ChilledPeppers we didn’t adopt, but some of our friends did, and it’s been hard.
I don’t think they regret it at all, but hearing from them I always feel humbled when I feel exhausted from my own kids. At least we don’t have to deal with the constant court cases from the side of the bio-parents they have to deal with.Poor kid got into panic fits when he heard his bio-mum wanted to take him away.
Very interested in this. I dont have any kids, but should we ever get to that point of our lives, my inclination is to adopt. I understand how there can be some pre-existing damage that could lead to some serious behavioral issues, but I’m still thinking we could probably manage… but I’m pretty ignorant on the topic. Would be interested to learn more about your experience, if you’re willing to share anything.
Yes, I would very much like that. I’ve always had the vague feeling that I do and enjoyed being with and around children, but started thinking about it more when I was together with my now-ex since we were discussing future plans.
Children are joy, discovery, love, and they are the future. I expect it might be both the most difficult but also rewarding venture one can set out on.
