Look at Mr. Fancypants here who can afford real lobster!

This is 100% what I looked like when I got out of bed this morning.

The potato is certainly the most important crop of the last 500 years or so. Without it, our modern society would not exist. So yeah, plenty of good stuff to write about.

Because he was busy praying towards Mecca and defiling everything that is holy about America, duh!

Next thing he’s going to say Obama didn’t do 9/11 or something!

If the moon isn’t real, where does all the cheese come from? Checkmate conspiracy theorists!

Greetings, fellow geezer!

I guess they didn’t have YouTube back then.

I bet they’ll forget my double guacamole again!

Ridiculous! Next thing people are going to claim that Japanese schools aren’t getting blown up by giant robots on a regular basis!

Thoughts and prayers!

Totally, bro! Totally real slop.

And then have a lawyer look at it.

As a German, this is really depressingly familiar.

They’re keeping him on as asskisser-in-chief to Trump. I guess they’re concerned that Ternus might not be good enough at grovelling.

What has Gollum ever done to deserve this?

Yeah, who here is “they” and who is “us”? He was very much part of the elite and completely removed from the concerns of normal people.

He’s just hungry. Never been fed in his entire life, ever.

These places are not exactly known for being progressive, so it’s no surprise they follow a woefully outdated model of urban development.

Hahaha, good one! Guards! Seize this impudent peasant and whip him to the bone!