“Mr. Mollari was my father’s name.”

Rei is going to steal that taco.

My beginning, at least.

The Blue Brother

Hacker: “I have all your files.”

User: “It won’t even let me log into Outlook.”

“Open the door, get on the floor
Everybody Dance Dance Dinosaur!”

“I am speed…”

Where did he find a piece of paper that large?

What a howler.

This made me laugh a lot as a kid.

This is why some houses have gravel yards with random plants.

Some climates make trying to keep manicured grass green a waste of water.

My kid realized what was happening in elevators at the age of 2. It helped that those elevators had windows to show how it was moving. But I remember the exact moment he figured it out. You could see it written on his face.

Adult dogs have the mental capacity of a 4-5 year old human, so they should be able to understand it, too.

Most empathetic UPS employee.

MOVE must be in another room.

Mechanics would be passing out due to how bad the hanger bay smells.

I listen to tech podcasters. This is not satire, this is reality.

Most people find Houston, Texas to be hostile.

Just driving on Westheimer is enough to make rational people leave.

Here’s hoping all the talent like Victoria abandons Texas and makes the Zodiac State insolvent.