I prefer Jan Böhmermann’s version:

Meine Damen und Herren und alle dazwischen und außerhalb

(Ladies and gentlemen and all in between and beyond)

“Y’all…”

There was discussion about what the NYC subway announcements should say instead of “ladies and gentlemen”.

My vote was “listen up you little shits, [this train is going express until canal Street or whatever]”

I think they went with “everyone”, however.

Hey meatbags!

“Hi”

My social skills are beyond your comprehension