I had a falling out with the people I thought were my friends. Set off a horrible chain reaction of events that fucked me up in a big way and destroyed a longtime dream I’d been working towards.

I don’t know how to make friends again, and I don’t know how to trust people. I’m stuck with this paranoid fear wondering if people are only pretending to be nice to me but might secretly hate me behind my back. And I want to tell myself that’s an irrational fear, most people surely aren’t like that, but it happened once already.

I’m not unhappy either. I’m relatively content with my life. Things could be better but they could be much worse too.

Capitalist hellscape. One of my pets scratched me in an awkward part of my leg. ICE horrors. War. Genocide. Other things removed from my immediate, personal, experience but make me sad or angry when I think of them.

Well, I think I am happy. Of course, not everything has gone my way, but enough has. I’m working on getting partial custody of my child from her mother. After a year of searching, I have found someone who is a much better match for me than my previous relationship and this person lives in the same town as me. We’re working on getting my fostering license - she has had one for years. I walked some of the AT with my estranged bio father over the summer. And last week I did an end of summer trip where I stayed on a lake and hiked for a few days - it felt like summer camp. Work has been a struggle for the last few months due to the introduction of some new faces in the company, and I just lost a very good employee because of it, but it seems my boss is finally back in my corner to some extent. I’ve joined a poetry slam on Mondays recently. I’m looking forward to the cold season with hot drinks, campfires and eventually snowboarding.

I think I’m wired to generally stay positive so long as outside factors do not become too overwhelming. Simply trying to only control the things that I have control of helps. Support networks help. Exercise helps. Therapy helps.

Who says I’m not?

I would say it’s because of capitalism but the truth is that my poor health is the real reason for my unhappiness. If I had better health I would fight against capitalism through activism as I did in the past. That would make me happy, at least.

If I knew that I would probably be q lot happier.

I suffer from a toxic combination of panic disorder and agoraphobia. I would like to be in a relationship but don’t feel able or good enough because I’m terrified of going into town for dates. I’m also terrified of flying so I don’t feel like I’d be able to book any trips away even if I did get into a relationship. I wish I had more of a social life.

I don’t hate how I look but I wish I didn’t have bad skin and that I was a little bit taller and more physically built.

I want to be a homeowner but can’t afford a mortgage at the moment.

I’m not totally miserable in life but these are the things that have been bringing me down for quite some time now.

I literally can’t figure out why. I have a stable living situation, decent income, a loving long-term partner and no health concerns. I don’t think I remember the last time I genuinely felt happy. There’s short-term excitement or giddyness sometimes, but that lasting, calming presence of actual happiness has been missing for a while.

At this point I can only blame my broken brain.

Nothing works as it was explained to me how it should. Now everything has ever changing rules and the points don’t matter.

I don’t really have any complaints, I’m just not a very happy person

Almost every issue I have right now goes back to billionaires, fascism, or capitalism.

just found out my boyfriend of nearly 9 years has been emotionally cheating on me for the last 3 months, thanks to a drunken slip-up. what’s funny is it would’ve been fine if it was just sex, but no… boundaries had to be tested.

I miss happiness

I am happy, but thanks for the check-in.