I honestly hate myself for still feeling this way at 23. Whenever I’m out, I always feel like the ugliest girl in the room, and it literally makes me feel completely worthless. It sucks watching how nicely everyone treats beautiful women. Nobody ever says anything mean to them. Guys are always looking out for them, and other girls always have their back. They get this pass in life that I’ve never had. No one has ever helped or protected me except my parents.I’ve learned to just rely on myself, because my parents won’t be around forever and nobody else gives a damn about me. Maybe this is how it should be.
nobody knows you as well as you do, so its uber important to be nice to yourself. you’re the only one that can accept you the way you are completely. take it from someone, that was mean to themselves most of their life. its so much easier when you’re at least as nice to yourself as you are to others. would you think lesser of a person because of their looks?
Lively eyes and an inviting smile are way better than a pretty face, and fitness is always attractive regardless of the body nature gave you.
So many posts about this, about time for a reveal to prove it.
Ew lmao
It’s an old internet rule, tits or gtfo, meaning prove it, because everyone makes claims like being a girl or being whatever, and on the internet, you’re nothing until proven otherwise.
This isn’t your average everyday yikes, this is… advanced yikes
you are 23, and you should have known this for quite some time now. it is not some kind of well hidden secret that sexy women have an easier life.
just lose some weight, do the hobby you like, and you will eventually find your crowd who will help you out and will treat you as their own BUT not based on your looks.
and just so you know, the female body peaks around 32-35. you are just ending your kid phase.
Bro. She didnt mention her weight.
Ohhh my wife is 32 so 3 years to peak and then all down hill i guess.
I’m also 32 I’m pretty sure I hit my peak at 28 and my poor wife has nothing but to watch my down hill slide for the next 30 years
My partner has noticed she feels this the strongest during her luteal phase, which helps her stay conscious that its chemical and she’ll feel better soon. More awareness of women’s health ✊️.
I mean this is easy - start intentionally going to places where “looking good” isn’t the organizing principle.
Find a hobby - hiking, gardening, books, pets. Hang out with people who value and are interested in things you value and are interested in. If you have something interesting to say and someone is interested- suddenly you have a much more interesting connection than “he thinks I’m hot”.
It seems great to have people treat you well because you are pretty - but in reality it means they don’t give two shits about who you are or what you think and will be dishonest with you to try to get in your pants.
Most pretty women really suffer when they get older and lose that “free pass” because the only social skill they ever learned was “look good”. If you learn to really listen and care about others, to be a good friend, to make people laugh - learn how to be an appealing person in a way that has nothing to do with looks. It will give you a much much more satisfying life for much much longer.
When I see a trophy wife I often think what a sad lonely place it must be.
Never feeling enough and the anxiety of having to look good. Never having a true voice. A bird in a cage.
Theres always a younger trophy.
No one has ever helped or protected me except my parents. […] nobody else gives a damn about me.
I don’t know how strong a network of good platonic friendships you have, but that goes a long way to give you this once your parents are no longer around.
They attract shit men and will be divorced at least twice by 40, then they are no longer as pretty.
Here’s a question even if you are ‘ugly’ are you of less value?
No, you are not.
There are people who do not fit the definition of pretty. They might be hairy, or disfigured etc, but you can also see unique. Do they deserve happiness and a place in society, Absolutely.
You have start seeing past pretty. You are who you are and the quicker you learn to love yourself (warts n all) the easier life will be. Looks fade, Self confidence, happiness and inner assurance are attractive traits, for men and women.
I think a lot of people would find you prettier than you’d expect. For me personally, what’s considered very attractive to most people looks fake and boring and less smart if I’m being honest. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking like this.
You are pretty.
Well I think first you have some things that are not totally accurate. Everyone has mean things said to them at some point. Not all guys are looking out for them in particular. Some guys will be a bit more protective of women. Some won’t. Some will front to impress what they consider to be a pretty girl. I don’t see why girls would have their back more. Ones I know would not have some strange pretty girls back instead of their friend who may be less pretty or such. Someone prettier will likely make better first impressions and such but they can still get in trouble or be not liked by people because of some other aspect of who they are. you actually sound a bit like my wife. its actually very hurtful to say no one cares about you when you have someone who literally has you and your well being in mind with every decision and action.
If you want a confidence boost, wearing an outfit you really like helps. I wear a 3/4 full length cloak and strut down the street, and my brain goes, “yeah. I am that cool. I’m the coolest one here 😎” which really puts pep in my step. Or if I pull together a good goth fit, same thing.
Buy or make some clothes you love, or accessories you love. Develop fun hobbies, and that will help you make friends!
Help and protection usually come from investing in relationships with other people. Very few people get that experience by default. Find your people and be a friend.
And if you’re looking for a partner, step 1 is still making friends.
“Pretty privilege”, it’s real. If you’re not pretty, be fun ! at least that stays relevant throughout the years.
Best wishes,
How is this not real? It’s not intentional but I have noticed myself doing it. You just care more about people you find attractive and it can snowball
Try to learn to value yourself for something other than looks. It can be HARD and takes real work and introspection, but you can learn to decenter beauty from your life and shake off the self-hatred. It won’t necessarily change the way people treat you, but at the very least, a sense of self-worth will give you some armor.
To be clear, I’m an objectively ugly woman. Fat, pale, frizzy haired, extremely asymmetrical, the works. Things that have worked for me have been pursuing hobbies, solo travel, reading a whole lot, getting into fashion, and seeking therapy, of course. I also find it helpful to seek out opinions and perspectives online from folks who don’t fit the beauty standard - fat people, disabled people, unconventionally attractive people, etc.
Sending nothing but love and empathy your way. I was in a very similar spot at 23, and I’m happy to say by 29 I think I’ve come to accept myself despite my looks.
