• chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Brother. As a white person, if you need a haircut you can go to any salon. Your hair isn’t under constant scrutiny. Your default hairstyle isn’t treated as something dirty or wrong. You don’t experience othering or ostracization because of your hair.

    You, as an individual, can choose to have your hair be a connection to community. That can be a beautiful thing and losing that might be devastating to you, as an individual. A black person is thrust into community because of their hair because of systemic oppression. It’s a struggle that brings everyone in that community together. You can’t separate one from the other. Every black man who loses his hair loses this integral connection he has to his community.

    White people’s connection to community through their hair is a choice, black people’s connection to community through their hair is a survival tactic. That’s why they’re fundamentally different. You can choose, they have no choice but to do so.

      • MJKee9@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Assuming you understand others’ personal and cultural experiences, especially when you aren’t a member of that culture, and especially when you have more than one person saying you don’t understand that culture, is a bad move. You don’t have to “agree” or “disagree.”. Sometimes you can just listen politely.

        • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          Precisely why my argument has not been to invalidate black people’s culture. But to criticize when someone tried to invalidated white people’s culture, importance of their hair or relationships with their barbers.

          You could also apply the listen and not argue here when I say that hair and hair saloons are important for other ethnicities other that Black American.

          I can also tell you my personal experiences and culture. In fact it’s what I’ve mostly say. Never said that black people doesn’t have great relationships and community bonding in barbershops owned supposedly by other black people. I’ve been saying that white (and other ethnicities) also have that, and it’s as important for them, because, you know, every human is important regardless of their skin color.

          • SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works
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            4 months ago

            People aren’t arguing about white peoples and others not having community in the barbershop, but that there’s a layer of risk due to hair type combined with prejudice that puts black hair salons and barbershops at a higher level of necessity. Even in Canada, or maybe especially in Canada, this is obvious.

            • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              What we are definitely not arguing about is about the necessity of barbershops that know how to cut black’s people hair. I’m not arguing about it. If a place have population with that type of hair there needs to be barbershops that know how to cut it.

              It doesn’t relate with white people, specifically white people, not being allowed to feel bad for balding because it makes them look old.

              • SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works
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                4 months ago

                Ah well it looked like you were arguing against the elevated importance of hair salons and barbershops for people of african descent.

                I am not sure how you concluded anyone is arguing the last point, I missed that.

                • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  4 months ago

                  There may be a misunderstanding here then. I may have expressed myself wrong. My point never was to underestimate the importance or cultural background of African American barbershops. Neither to confront the roots of racism that created that necessity. I agree with all that.

                  My only point is that it doesn’t invalidate the importance that hair and hair saloons has for other people (for different reasons each). All in reference to a comment that said something on the line that white people’s (and only white people’s specifically) pain over looking old because balding is invalid.

                  • SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works
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                    4 months ago

                    Yeah you presented as asserting that racism isn’t a valid concern regarding hair issues and that other “races” are just as vulnerable around hair issues. It’s a bad look.

      • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Cool. Have fun with your intentional ignorance. Your whiteness will undoubtedly shield you from any contradictory evidence if you don’t actively fight against it. Cheers, mate!

        • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          Are you being racist against me?

          I think you are both assuming my race as white and them being pejorative against white people.

          That last message was not cool.

          • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Brother. Comrade. Friend. I assumed you’re white because you think that racism is a thing in the past. That it’s an icky, immoral thing for history textbooks and not something that anyone deals with today. I assume you’re white because you defend white people in a scenario where they’re privileged and that privilege shields them from the reality that others face. I assume you’re white because when I give an example of what this experience is like for a non-white community member, you immediately center whiteness in your rebuke. You assume that speaking of the white experience as what it is is somehow racism.

            Whiteness isn’t some failing of race, it’s a systemic knowledge gap where white people assume themselves the default race and they think they can easily project their experiences onto other communities. They don’t know the struggles of other communities because they aren’t forced to confront how racism impacts their experience. White privilege isn’t something that gives them a leg up, it just means they don’t have to grapple with racism in their day-to-day lives.

            • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              4 months ago

              I do not think racism is a think of the past. I do not believe I’ve ever said that. I don’t even identify as white. My DNA has more in common with North Africa than with the Anglo-Saxon groups that created the concept of “being white”, so you should check your prejudices.

              Racism is really prevalent today against PoC. I’ve anyone understood anything else from my messages I apologise for not delivering my wording right.

              That being said. “White” people is privileged in many areas. Going bald and suffering from balding is not one of them. And invalidating that feeling, saying that a white person going bald should not complain or suffer about it JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE WHITE. Rubs me the wrong way. Millions of white people suffer a lot because they are going bald, trying to invalidate that feeling just because they are white is just wrong.

              It’s incredibly funny you say I believe “white is the default race” when you directly attacked white people, and your only defence for that offence was that was hair saloons are important for black people. Completely ignoring the thousands of different ethnicities that are neither black neither white. What about a balding Asian? can they complain if they go bald? A balding latin american? Which degree of anglo-saxon DNA has a person have to have in their blood to be able to complain about going bald?

              The root of this is that a person say that “white people cannot complain about going bald because they are white” and has yet not retracted that incredibly racist statement.

              You don’t know what’s going on in the life of that balding white person, and you CANNOT DEDUCE IT FROM THEIR RACE. You don’t know if they are for instance a trans woman and suffering an incredible gender disforia because the balding. You don’t know what importance have their hair in their lives. And trying to invalidate those feelings based only on their skin color is a bad thing to do.

              • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                I don’t even identify as white. My DNA has more in common with North Africa than with the Anglo-Saxon groups that created the concept of “being white”, so you should check your prejudices

                Sorry, can’t let this go. This is the whitest fucking shit I’ve ever heard. Bro, non-white people don’t fucking choose how to identify. They are identified and have to deal with how they’re identified. The fact that you think you can choose to not identify with whiteness screams of the fact that you’re absolutely steeped in it.

              • chuckleslord@lemmy.world
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                4 months ago

                Especially if you’re white and you just don’t want to go bald cause “then you’ll be old”.

                My direct quote, it’s interesting that that doesn’t say what you said it does. I’m not saying this isn’t a struggle for white people, silly. I’m saying that they have less to grapple with losing. Even if they have the same level of connection to community through their hair, losing that won’t other them from an intrinsic part of their identity. That is a lesser loss, which was my point and the reason why I emphasized that.

                Completely ignoring the thousands of different ethnicities

                I’m not ignoring shit, dude. You asked what being white had to do with it, I gave a counter-example of someone who isn’t white losing something deeper than a white person could face in the same situation. I don’t need to explain that hair is a big part of many identities to demonstrate my point or cover every possible group that it could possibly apply to, just that it isn’t the same for white people.