Me for Jack Black
OH GOD YES. He gives me the heeby jeebies
I guess I’m out of the loop, what did he do?
Capitulated to right wingers by firing his supposed best friend and band mate Kyle for making a joke about Trump.
My friend group was in our late teens. Then this one girl brought her new boyfriend… early thirties, soldier, fit, cool.
I had this instant dislike, his words were… too smooth, his jokes were funny, but cruel. He radiated a kind of coolness like uranium radiates. Everybody was all over him, the lads wanted to be like him, the lasses wanted him. I could not bring myself to like him and got accused of being jealous.
He broke up some lifelong friendships and budding relationships. He ended up getting two of the girls pregnant and went to prison because one of them was underage at the time.
There’s a clerk at the neighborhood grocery I am certain will be caught with bodies in his cellar.
Funny there’s one in my local supermarket
Clerk or body?
my brother’s mom is like this. she radiates anger when things don’t go her way, and it gets worse when people don’t acknowledge it. you feel it in your chest.
i make a point of not acknowledging it. it’s childish and it causes my brother trauma.
Your brothers mom. So, your mom.
I dunno why you’re getting downvoted. Assuming it’s a biological brother and faithful relationship on the parents the brother would have done mother
But like I said biological, so maybe adoption, and maybe unfaithful father or something
But given the info we’re presented I think it’s a fair assumption
Anyways time to comment on the main thread and probably ultimately never send it
no.
Used to work with a dude who took great delight in belittling others. He was quite Sr.
I thought I was taking crazy pills. “Oh, he’s actually a sweetheart once you get to know him”, “He doesn’t mean to be that way”. “He actually really likes me”
People were bending over backwards to defend a guy who was literally getting off on abusing his position of authority. Everyone seemed to think they were the special one who he liked and respected… they just wanted everyone else to “earn it” like they had.
It was scary! This guy had essentially formed a cult!
Anyways, our company got acquired and he was let go during HR vetting. The company doing the acquisition obviously had better due diligence then there was when this guy had been hired: sex crimes against a minor.
Everyone was shocked (STILL DEFENDING HIM). I was like “oh wow it’s actually crazy how perfectly that tracks”.
Anyways, our company got acquired and he was let go during HR vetting. The company doing the acquisition obviously had better due diligence then there was when this guy had been hired: sex crimes against a minor.
At a previous job for several months I worked 2 desks away from a new guy they hired who’d been in prison for raping his kid. I didn’t find out about this until he got fired for unrelated reasons. I was pissed because when I’d gotten hired at that place the background check they did raked me over the coals about my education history but they didn’t catch THAT. I treated that prick like a human being FFS. Now I google new hires myself to hopefully avoid that situation in the future.
Wow that is crazy what a twist.
Had a situation twice where one particular friend would antagonize other one (different people in both cases), and after some time rest of us would have that “oh!” moment, with that second friend no longer being a friend now.
As for myself - became good friends for almost 10 years now with a person who’s first impression to me was not good to say the least.
Mr.Beast , Elon Musk , Mamdani , Jordan Peterson ,every podcast idiot out there , the aristocrat family who owns the Daily Mail
All the time.
Adore, maybe a couple times, but usually its even just being tolerated. If a toxic person is part of your friend group, I’m not going to be apart of that. And I hate the whole “friend group” thing anyways. I prefer to just maintain personal relationships and spend time doing what we enjoy. I’d rather hang out once a month with just a buddy or two than spend every weekend with a group.
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My wife is like this with nearly perfect accuracy
Aren’t you going to tell us how you slipped past her radar?
Copious amounts of what the kids call rizz
Yeah one of my very close friends has been hurt by early dysfunctional situations and as a result has a super-sensitive fine-tuned judgement of personal character. I’ve known him for almost 30 years and have learned that if he tells you he doesn’t trust someone you should listen to him, even if you don’t see the reason, because he’s running on 100% accuracy.
It’s honestly depressing to have this ‘power’. I always see the con coming, try to warn those close to me, and get stuck just having to suck it up. Frequently with a manipulative child and her own toxic nightmare of a child.
I’ve met a number of people in life who seem to have been raised in nearly perfect circumstances: intelligent, loving parents who gave them the right about of support and structure.
They’re not idiots but they aren’t afraid to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You might think they must get taken advantage of left and right, but most of these people are also pretty privileged so not traveling in very dangerous circles.
I’ve watched them give someone WAY more trust than I think is wise. Sometimes I turn out to be the idiot and realize they were making a good investment all along.
And in those cases where I turn out to be right, they just realize “oh, this is a bad person,” and they pivot away and move on with their lives.
It’s hard to build friendships, relationships, and even things like business partnerships without trust, and these people have a lot of that to give. Sometimes they even inspire people to be better by giving that trust. In the end I think most of them have pretty full lives with a rich tapestry of people in them.
It really makes you think twice about whether it really is the safest and wisest course of action to be so highly critical and suspicious. Is that really what leads to safety and wellness for us? I think no. And it’s not even meant to - it’s just a way to try to avoid the absolute worst outcomes. And only people who’ve had a taste of that “worst” think like this. It truly is very damaging for them and that’s the saddest part: whatever abuse or wrongdoing they suffered limits them forever.
Yeah all the time, people are just dumb and willing to look past obvious red flags just because someone acts confident. I mean we literally have a name for those people “con man” short for “confidence man” a man who exhudes confidence while scamming people.
And yet, everyone just likes confidence even when it’s an obvious narcissist pos and then two years later they’re all crying to me “can you believe Geoff would do that?” And im like yeah it was pretty obvious and you guys kicked me out of your friend group so fuck you too.
Narcissists tend to have a certain “charm.” They know exactly how to behave to gain the approval and admiration of others, especially in a society that rewards Dark Triad traits.
When you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you tend to see through it. But no one believes you, and they all turn against you because they admire the narcissist, and narcissists tend to be pretty manipulative to get what they want.
This is why it infuriates me when people conflate all Cluster B disorders into one thing. Borderline Personality Disorder is more common among the victims of abuse, while narcissists tend to be the abusers and generally from privileged backgrounds.
Narcissists are infatuated with themselves, whereas people with BPD tend to hate themselves. It’s two different kinds of self-obsession, with completely different causes and consequences, yet people try to treat them as if they’re the same. While failing to identity narcissists, and mislabeling BPD as narcissism.
BPD traits in general are far more stigmatized, even though people without BPD are the ones who both require and deserve more compassion, understanding, and acceptance in order to recover. The treatment for NPD involves removal of the social approval they’re so used to and expect; whereas the treatment for BPD requires a more affirming and validating social setting. The conflation keeps people with BPD suffering, while simultaneously enabling people with NPD to continue.
Long story short, if you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse, you’re far more likely to be ostracized by society while the narcissist continue receiving approval, admiration, and promotions…
Person at my work is a psychopath I’m pretty sure… I know there’s nothing inside… empty and hollow… needing constant external validation to feel like they matter. No interest in really getting to know someone.
Everyones super charmed by them though! And psychopaths are useful in organisations if channeled into the right stuff!
Edit: Ugh, autocorrect changed “with” to “without” so I fixed it. I hate it when my machine silently changes the entire meaning of my sentence to its exact opposite!
Shit like this is why I never use autocorrect. I’d rather have a few typos that a completely butchered sentence.
I have autocorrect turned off but sometimes it changes it anyway. Sometimes it even changes my commas to periods.
Tech companies do not care about consent or user control.
Current society is still ass, though very slowly improving.
I admire your optimism, but I don’t share it…
I don’t think there’s a singular bad vibe detector though. And even within a narrow type, there’s still multihlevels of threat perception, often paired with expectations vs one’s ability to handle it.
Like, some people have experienced trauma or other bad shit with certain things and get a bad vibe from some stuff, but not other stuff or situations.
And also imagine a manipulative person in a group of, let’s say, ten people. Let’s call them person M (for manipulator). Then there’s person A and person B. Person A sees person M doing shitty stuff, but person A is way smarter than person M, and knows they (person A), is gonna shut down person M’s behavior. And all of that just fits regular, casual conversation for person A, so they don’t see it as really that “shitty”, it’s just an attempt for sway or favor or whatever.
But, person B sitting in the corner only has mild experience with person M’s actions and classifies it as a “bad vibe” and doesn’t know how to handle it very well, and so makes a mental note to poop in person M’s food later.
Person A may be a 900 year old sith CEO and this just isn’t an issue, whereas person B may be a 6 month old drooling wet nosed monkey. Both can notice, but they perceive and handle the situations VERY differently.
🌞 🌈 vibes~ 🌈 🎉
Dude. There are non-shitty ways to be subtle. But being shitty is being shitty. If person A was actually cool, they wouldnt tolerate bullying person B. But that is just my take.
I don’t adore anyone, but I try not to think ill of people, either. The self is the lens we see the world through, so if we’re always giving credence to the negative within us, that is what grows and what we see more of.
“If you look for the light, you will often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see.” - Iroh
