Wait, that can’t be. Yesterday was 12 years ago.

Your Dasher has sent you a message: “WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MEN PLAYING WOMEN’S SPORTS?”

Make it happen

Bop It™️

you’ll spend more time fighting gravity

Aw man. This is already a significant portion of my day.

…with these gas prices??

“Beware of the leopard.”

On iOS, under Settings > Notifications > Notification Content

DO NOT LEAVE NAIR ON FOR LONGER THAN THE DIRECTIONS SAY

We’re a few years away from presidents starting their speeches with “make sure you like and subscribe so you don’t miss any of my speeches…”

In many stores, they will swipe “a store card” for you at the register if you ask them. I believe I’ve even seen the option on some self-checkout stations. I’ve only had trouble with this once or twice. But it may be worth risking for the privacy (and monetary) savings.

One time as I was turning down my bed a paper wasp (or possibly grass wasp, I didn’t get a chance to ask it) that was hiding in the sheets stung me on the hand. And now I hope I can share some of that previously unrealized fear with all of you.

Dan is either going to need a gf who is tall and strong enough to carry a way-too-big ladder from the store and strap it to the roof of the car, or one who is small enough to smoosh in the back seat and hold the ladder as it hangs precariously out of the open trunk for the ride home.

Your house is going to look like a Family Circus cartoon.

Of all the sins Jesus died for, this may be one of the worst

She screams in silence

Well it sounds less spooky when you put it that way.

Have we seen Mr. DeSantis’s and Mr. MS['s governor)'s birth certificate? Have they been validated?

Show us your shitty art

That’s The Washington Post. WSJ is Murdoch.