I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.
I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.
About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.
At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?
So I get massages a lot. I’m a lady but its a pet peeve to hear someone getting tugged off in the next room. I’m not rich so I often go to places that run specials or discounts. I figured it out. Its a rub and tug place if they have curtains in the windows and it’s a straight massage place if you can see into the waiting room. People aren’t embarrassed to be seen waiting for a massage. They are not as excited for you to be seeing them go into a happy ending place.
is this strip mall in a bad part of Thailand?
How can it be a bad part if everyone walks away happy 🤔🤔🤔
point taken
I honestly added the “bed part” so people would not pile on me for stereotyping Thailand
I mean, you could just book one of the many normal licensed sports therapists instead of the shady wanky ones maybe?
shady wanky
For some reason this bothers me. I really want it to be shanky wanky or maybe even shady wady. Stupid English! lol
I typically do, like I said I have one I go to usually. Sometimes I’m extra stiff in the morning and need to take what I can get sooner rather than later.
I think using this exact language may be your problem. 🤣
I reread and burst out laughing in the morning while everyone in the house sleeps.
You’re simply going to have to say no when they go to do it if you dont want to assume. I had a family member who frequented these places until I got everyone to shame him. Theres no ritual or codeword. You just have to know the place gives them.
Why shame him?
Because I’m pretty sure two of them he went to the employees were trafficked.
Asian massage parlour? I’ve actually never heard of another kind of handy giving parlour. I don’t pay any attention to them though so idk.
Unfortunately they were all Vietnamese except for one. Which isn’t necessarily a problem but the way he described them it did not sound like consenting environments. Idk man I’m not against sex work but I was getting red flags from some of those descriptions. Maybe I’m biased and just imagining a sad handjob but Idk.
There’s some clear clues on which venues are happy ending parlors.
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Avoid places with completely curtained windows. At least the lobby area should be visible to the public.
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Seek out places that refer to “massage therapists”. Avoid “masseuse” or “massage parlor”.
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The “crystal healing” “sound bath” hippy dippy places might try to sell you mushrooms but they are less likely to grab your dick.
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Avoid cash only places, they are trying to hide paper trails. Even if you’re paying out of pocket, any place that accepts insurance isn’t offering a “secret menu” .
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Low stated prices might mean they get by on big handy-based tips. They’re cheap for a reason. Medium priced places are just charging for normal services.
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Check what kind of person is in their online reviews. If it’s a middle aged man talking about how beautiful the “girls” are, skip. If it’s a Karen complaining about how they used CBD oil, it’s probably fine.
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Strip malls in general seem to attract this business niche, too. I’m not sure why.
If you’re normally comfortable getting a massage naked, consider keeping your underwear on for your first visit with a new practitioner.
Woah, thanks for the tip on where to buy mushrooms
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I’ve only had it offered one time and it was at a placey MIL suggested when I was in town. I usually go to cheaper Asian massage places too.
So towards the end of the massage she tapped my dick through the towel and said you like? I said no and couldn’t wait to tell my MIL where she sent me.
My FIL went there for science after and confirmed my story and says he also said no but I have doubts.
You’re the second one to refer to touching the penis and saying “You like?”, which may be the answer to my question
For science!
Look for places that do multiple types of services, and are focused on rehab. Sports therapy, physio, massage clinics are focused on treatment, not sexual stuff. Also look for registered therapists.
so I get a sketchy strip mall massage
Where do you live that you have to resort to this?
Asian Bodyworks = happy endings.
Even if you don’t partake in their services, just being there if there during a raid can get you caught up in legal trouble. You will be guilty until proven innocent in the eyes of the laws as it’s a slam dunk case for most prosecutors if they take it to a jury trial.
However, I do enjoy Asian forms of massage over most Western ones. I look for places that are either in a normal to high end enclosed shopping mall (not a strip mall) or do acupuncture.
I try to stay away massage places in stand alone buildings or open strip malls. Massage places with websites that focus on female masseuses. Some say signage in red letters can indicate a tug joint. Generally any sign of these and I’ll look elsewhere. If I still get offered, I don’t come back.
I appreciate this is probably the autism, but I’ve always been fascinated that most people seem to be comfortable with stripping down and being oiled up and touched by a stranger.
The odd thing is, I’d totally understand this in a sexual context - but for people to want this kind of contact just as a service, like a haircut or something, seems utterly alien to me.
I realise this doesn’t answer your question, but like I said, I’ve always been fascinated by the concept.
Well, there’s different kinds of massage.
The generic spa-style massage is more about relaxation, and is done in a setting that shifts the context to being fairly impersonal.
More medically focused, or sports focused (lot of overlap there) massage is being done with a goal in mind, usually in a setting that also makes it feel less intimate than it might otherwise (even with the same technique involved).
Just as an example, I trained up in a handful of massage methods over the years. Lymphatic release, myofascial release, deep tissue, a variant of shiatsu, and the bog standard “just rub the muscles that are tense” kind that isn’t really a technique/style at all. What would be used depended on my patients’ needs and preferences.
Deep tissue, I really never broke out on patients though. A few, but it was rare. That was more for friends that were in need due to muscle issues.
Myofascial release is superb for people with reduced mobility and/or spacicity since out favors fairly gentle pressure that directly unloads where the muscles connect.
Your lymphatic release is also low pressure, and is kind of the default for both a post-workout massage as well as geriatric patients and bedbound patients. It focuses on moving your juices along to the center of the body sp that associated buildup of wastes will be enhanced
But what remains true is that most massage is best done on bare skin. Not all benefit from lubricants though. Myofascial release, in particular, becomes more difficult and> less effective because you really need to be able to apply focused pressure without movement as part of what you’re doing.
Will massage therapists generally be familiar with deep tissue massage if you ask?
I think that’s what i used to get, where it felt like i was getting my tendons re-adjusted and stuff, but i didn’t know how to ask.
Yeah, almost guaranteed. Won’t necessarily offer it as a service, though the vast majority should. But any proper professional would know what it is, and likely know how.
There’s some degree of variation in techniques, but that is likely what you were getting. Deep tissue can outright hurt, but the goal is to get into the muscles where hard tension is and unkink it. It uses steady, usually slow, but forceful pressure to really get past the surface.
Which is why not everyone will offer it. It is very demanding for the practitioner, and patients may or may not actually want it, and just think they do lol. My hands can’t do it any more. Hell, I can’t always pull off the easier stuff. Arthritis sucks lol.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is very appreciated
I’ve never been uncomfortable with being naked or being touched. And I’m actually an extremely sex-positive person.
But I get massage because I get sore muscles. It’s not about just being touched, it’s directed pressure to work out muscle knots. If I got a massage and all they did was oil me up and lightly touch me, I wouldn’t be going back.
Yeah I miss my sadistic masseur so much, I used to go to a guy who was like 6’5" and strong and gay - ideal combination - and the massages hurt but I would feel so much better after. I don’t need it to feel good during the massage, what I want is to fix whatever is going on. I realize logically that the hard pressure is not necessary to release muscle tension and fix things, but it has been more effective for me personally. I want to feel better after the massage than I do during it.
Endorphins are a hell of a drug. I also saw a legitimately sadistic massage therapists with, let’s say, differences in feeling empathy from most people. Best massages ever, but eventually it didn’t feel safe.
Hard agree, although mine is a middle aged Asian woman who talks about how fucked up my back is as she’s torturing me. 100% feel better after though, like immediately.
There is a very severe lack of non-sexual touch In the world right now. Massage is so nice, it’s therapeutic. I get esthetician facials too - if you want a less fraught (for you) experience of the same sort of experience I highly recommend those, and so good for your skin too.
I tense up if other people touch me. I can get a massage without being white knuckled these days, but I can’t imagine actually wanting to touch another person.
I used to be jealous of it, like when my coworkers at summer camp were comfortable laying next to each other and partly on each other in a cuddle pile on a couch, just in a platonic non-sexual, but close way. But i was new and didn’t know what to do.
For me, the skin to skin contact feels nice, relaxing, close, safe.
I can imagine not wanting to touch another person, because i get those moods too, especially with strangers or people where the social context is unclear. But it is really nice for me when it’s the right place and time and people.
Have you ever had a sore muscle or stiff neck and massaged it to relax it and alleviate the pain? Imagine that being done by a professional that knows exactly where to press to relax a muscle and for your whole body.
And with the pressure they use it can be uncomfortable or somewhat painful in the moment. Its not arousing. But it works wonders.
The place matters, don’t go to any sketchy places. I am not sure what qualifications/school exist in other counties but in Canada for insurance purposes massage therapists must be registered/licensed in order to recieve coverage. People who are registered are very very unlikely to jeopardize their career by breaking the law like that, not tomention it goes against everything we are taught. As an RMT myself it really makes me sad that this exists and sullies our industry and is brought up like a funny joke. Therapists should be asking for consent in order to work on any sensitive areas
I’m in a similar spot. The best massage for me involves a lot more pressure than most people need. I’m 195cm, 120 kilos (biiig guy) and almost no place has what I need, in my area. Rails on the ceiling so they can walk on my back. It allows them to crack my spine a little and provide enough pressure to break up the knots I get in my lower spine due to scar tissue from a surgery I had years ago.
The only place that has those rails is the local rub and tug. I just explicitly tell them at the start “no happy ending”. Most of the ladies speak enough English to get it. And they’re fine with not doing it, I always give a good tip anyway.
You have to look at the place you go to. If it has drawn blinds and no view inside I would avoid it. I mean its kinda obvious really to me which ones are which when driving around. Do go to ones with therapeutic in the name and mentions certified. It honestly does not take much for therapeutic place to get guys looking for more. I had a female massage therapist friend and she was pissed because the guy changed the logo. Their name said therapeutic and the logo had a caduceus but it also had a silloute of a long haired face. The hair sorta waving in the breeze. Apparently that was enough to get an uptick in men who were looking for more.
Like 15 years ago a friend randomly showed me a website called tugmap. I asked what the fuck was wrong with him, but in retrospect something like that might be exactly what you need!
The happy ending places are usually pretty easy to spot from reviews or their website if they have one. A few indicators:
- The images they post online are just attractive women possibly giving massages. The focus is on the person giving the massage, instead of general relaxing imagery.
- Reviews are split down the middle between 5 stars with no details and 1 stars complaining about short, half-assed massages and requests for tips before the massage ends
- The building itself has all the windows covered and very little advertising except for a sign to reassure clients they have the right door.
