I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.
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OP, please mark this post as NSFW.
I’ve had my full dick and balls groped by an older (like 50’s) lady at one of my jobs (I was maybe 20-21). Brought it up to management and was told “What!? No way! She’s just a sweet old lady, she would never do anything like that!”
Meanwhile she not only grabbed my whole ass genitalia, she whispered “I’d love to see all this up close” while doing so.
No one ever believed me and it happened multiple times hence why I no longer work there…
I can totally believe that. I spent most of my teenage years playing bass in my dads band, the band played mostly in pubs, bars and restaurants, audience was usually +40 years of age. It was quite a surprise for me how aggressive a middle aged drunk woman can be. I got touched so much for years, until I learned to run off stage and dive into the van or back stage room, which ever was the closest.
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I hear this so often from young men (or men who were at one point young men). It’s absolutely disgusting and should be spoken about more. Even if they do believe the men, they’ll say they’re somehow “lucky” to have gotten a woman’s attention.
I’m so sorry it happened to you.
I believe you.
Yes and every woman I know personally has either been raped or sexually assaulted. My own mother and sisters included. I have a sneaking suspicion that my dad has his own story, but I don’t know the details.
My ex-husband was propositioned by his step-father when he turned 18 years old.
My best friend was routinely raped by her husband until she could finally leave him.
My own stories are varied and have happened sporadically through my life.
When I was around 20(M) my older boss regularly tried it on with me. She always tried to lean into me with her large chest. Then one day she basically exposed herself to me.
Another coworker said she did this with him too. Eventually we both explained this to upper management and she was gone within the week.
I always felt bad because Iin this case it was addressed quickly. Yet I know if my female co workes were in a similar situation… Well, I hear enough to believe that the story would be different. For the worse.
I had a co-worker I reported for SH. Turns out other folks hare reported her too. She got fired.
My complaint was the one that got her fired. She had 3 other complaints already from 3 other folks.
Some people have told me I am a ‘snitch’ for doing it. But guess what, my workplace is a lot more pleasant with that person gone than it was the year they were around…
You shouldn’t feel bad. She was a repeat abuser. Don’t feel bad for protecting others.
Yeah, as a child and as an adult. As a child by the ones that should have protected me and as an adult man by drunk women who mimic the behavior they experience.
Fuck in sad world. I have a good therapist and hardship built me so i got shit tons of empathy and a thick skin to deal with everything thrown at me.
Yeah. One time by a stranger that lured me to their car with baseball cards and candy. Legit, no joke. There is a reason those PSAs exist. Another time by a neighbor. And the last time was by my friend’s grandmother. All of this happened before I was 10, I didn’t tell anyone until much later in life.
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Im so sorry for the pain you had to silently carry for years
But something Ill add is The thing I find fucked up is that we have stories like yours happening agaim and again and again and they keep on and keep on and keep om happenimg …and yet…humanity hasnt dont a darned thing to permanently change this.
We will have stories just like yours here once again in 20 years whehn someone askes this same question to the next generation sadly…
Itll never end until humanity ensures that it ends.
Sorry once again 🫂
I’ve managed better than a lot of people, and it’s because I have been incredibly gifted with some of the best friends I could ever ask for.
I agree that it won’t end until humanity ensures it ends. I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but I don’t believe that will ever happen. It may be reduced, and I hope it is, but I don’t think it will ever go away. The most important thing is early and empathetic help. We need to be better as a society in reaching out to those that have been hurt and giving them all the support they need. This stretches well beyond sexual abuse, too. Mental health is something we are culturally just now embracing, and we need to be more proactive about it. We need to create safe spaces for those that need it before we know there are those that need it, lest we let those in truly difficult times endure the worst of it. We can do better. And while I don’t think it will ever end, I think we can do better about helping those in trouble. No one deserves it, and no one deserves to suffer because of it.
Yes, and it went beyond that. I have accepted that I’ll probably never be able to have a normal sex life.
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Im so sorry for the pain you had to silently carry for years
But something Ill add is The thing I find fucked up is that we have stories like yours happening agaim and again and again and they keep on and keep on and keep om happenimg …and yet…humanity hasnt dont a darned thing to permanently change this.
We will have stories just like yours here once again in 20 years whehn someone askes this same question to the next generation sadly…
Itll never end until humanity ensures that it ends.
Sorry once again 🫂
No. I’ve had a lot of unwanted advances, accusations of “being gay” when I wouldn’t put out with women. Been hit on many times by gay men but they’ve been pretty chill about it mostly.
Had my brother dump a gay in my bedroom so he could get freaky with his friend. The gay assumed I was into it and kept moving closer to me sitting on the bed. I’m just trying to watch south park. He got a bit animated when I had to explicitly tell him I’m not at all gay.
I’m lucky though, I’m 6ft and built like a bear. Nobody properly tries forcing anything. My sheer size and stature do the fighting for me. Which is very lucky as I fight like a teddy bear…
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Yes.
As a young teen by a stranger. He knew my routine and when I would be alone walking and would intercept me.
A couple of times more recently…I don’t know if it would really qualify as assault because they were pretty minor incidents but it was by women I met on a dating app.
Sorry for your pain 🫂
Also you need to know that there is no such thing as 'minor SA incident.
You are a human. You have boundaries and limits just like all other humams. NOBODY haa any right to violate your boundaries. All competent adults who knowlingly violate another human’s boundaries deserve the same punishment.
They all have equal trauma as far as Im concerned. I havemt read a study that denies these conclusions so as far as Im concerned? Im correct.
They say that if a young child displays sexually promiscuous behaviour, that’s a warning sign that they’ve been raped. I know I was abused as a very young child, but I can’t remember it and I don’t know exactly what happened. But I can remember performing sexually promiscuous behaviour in the following years. So… Maybe?
Sorry for your pain 🫂
Also the absence of evidence is not evidence of an absence. SO all because you cant remember being abused doesnt mean that it never happened. In a case like yours, I feel that you will never be sure untol you are 100% sure for yourself , cause your abusers who are off living their lives happily, selfishly will never come back to you and admit to you that that abuse happened, right? So you have to find undeniable evidence for yourself or ask investigators to.
There are stories of people who were given an intoxicant or something to fog fheir memory but dont remember what happend to them while they were in that delirious state. But they have a pretty good guess of what happened to them even though they never saw it.
I don’t feel all that much sorrow about whatever happened when I was small, because I developed Narcissistic Personality Disorder to resist it. The way I process My ego, or self-image, adjusted to correct for what was missing. Unfortunately, neurotypicals think that makes Me an abuser, because a bunch of self-help books told them so.
Id say that me being mutilated by circumcisiom as a baby is the closest Ive come to this happening to me.
The law doesmt see it as SA . But I do. ALL humans are entitled to an intact body, no?
Funny thing is I got ‘circumcised’ for religoois reasons… but Ive been an atheist my whole life…so…what do I do now?..
Grow it back to spite god
foreskin resotration is long and difficult. Im getting there …but not anytime soon… 🤷🏿♂️
Yup. Twice.
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And the wild part? I didn’t even think of it as assault, but when i recently (maybe a year or two ago) reframed as “the inebriated cannot consent” I’d have to say, that definitely happened twice. I blamed myself for being drunk both times. Neither time has ever sit well with me, even before I reframed it.
And in both cases, the other, I feel weird even saying assailant, was stone sober.
My father forced me to masturbate to child porn by pretending to be a girl at my school on AIM. I would get scared and freaked out, stop responding to the account, then he would call me and demand that I keep talking to this “girl” because he was bothering him at work. Very graphic, explicit highly illegal shit. He also encouraged me to share his sex toys. Once he made me jerk him off.
Later he planted CSAM on my stepfathers laptop and got him fired from his job, arrested, years long court case attempting to prove his innocence before they finally dropped the case when we found time stamped photos proving my step dad was not at home. The FBI dropped the case right before trial.
Nothing happened to my Dad. He died a decade later still a PoS. There was a funeral, but I didn’t tell any of his friends. He didn’t deserve mourning. This all happened when I was between 12 and 20. The last time I talked to him before he passed, when I was 30ish. My girlfriend at the time left the room, and apropos of nothing he asked what kind of porn I liked and suggested ways to hide it from her.
You deserved better, fuck that guy
Yes. (I am a woman and pretty old so I guess it goes without saying but yes.)
