- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
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why would you use an “opener” on random people getting into an elevator with you?
Its called shooting your shot
if you have to resort to harassing strangers who are trapped in an elevator with you, then you are far too ugly to be “shooting your shot”.
Did you catch the game last night?
What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
you mean Dune: Awakening?
I could give you my login to Confluence, but that would be a war crime.
Rescue-Boat Lips and orange cake fondant… classy…
The amount of men I’ve seen who think they could be target for a spy honeypot genuinely cracks me up. Don’t worry bro YOU are safe.
I mean, the US armed forces has to hold regular “know your fucking number” meetings, because the people with security clearance keep getting honeypotted. Basically, “You look like Mr Potato Head with more acne scars and daddy issues, and you smell like wet beef. You’re an Iowa 3 at best. Maybe a 3.5 if you bothered to shower before you hit the bar. If a solid California 10 walks up to you at the bar right outside of the base, and she seems really interested in what you do for work, she’s not interested in you. Know your fucking number, and be suspicious when anyone outside of your range tries to flirt.”
MAGA face. Not even once.
I use stairs. It’s better for the heart
You ladies like lemmy? There’s a whole bunch of socialism in my room and we’ve got femboys coming up later.
I move to the side and brace for the most shrill pair of voices whose conversations consist mostly of “oh my gawd” “I’m like, really” and them complaining about what most other people would consider less than a mild inconvenience
Can you believe that guy in the lobby didn’t hold the door open for us?
'Sup. Continue doom scrolling my phone
I take my job very seriously. They’re gonna have to work pretty hard if they want that blend of 11 herbs and spices.
Is that what kids are calling it these days?
I’d say to them the same thing I say to anyone else.
“Hi. What floor? Have a good night.”
What is this, an Axe commercial?
Most men do
Can’t speak for other men but I cum with my prostate.
The pee is stored in the balls.
Hey, if they want to try its my obligation to test my skills against theirs.
Ok roll your charisma and they will roll against yours.
“Mr President, another Scholar’s mate has hit the chess board”
If you try “openers” on women walking into elevators like a captive audience you deserve to die in a fire
Did you ever consider thinking something is gross without wishing a painful death on the perpetrator?
A captive audience for 15 seconds at which point they have a built-in reason to leave though
but where else am i going to meet someone
the only opener allowed is the open door button
Counter point:
I always liked this elevator. It picks me up when I’m down.Oh, the dad’s gambit.
Got it to move sideways. When I passed out drunk.
Counter counterpoint:
Unfortunately it always brings me down when I’m up.
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If they want to honeypot me, they’re going to need fursuits.
What would you prefer, one of the mass-produced goth girls from the goth girl industrial complex?
I’m into tomboys.
Well fuck, you guys are gonna see me on the news for leaking secrets if that’s on the table
…for legal reasons, that was a joke
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Clearly
Now we’re talking.
For real, I’d continue staring at my phone
