I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
-Fair to middling
-Hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit
-Finer than frog hair
Sometimes I ignore the question and just move on in conversation. Most people don’t even notice because they’re asking out of habit, not to actually ask you how you’re doing.
I do this sometimes. I’ve had people ask again where i tell them that I’ll get there after i fonish my story, but then obviously never go there. lol
This is what I do. Either ignore it or just say “yes” and move on to the main topic of the day.
I used to answer somewhat truthfully, but I dunno, answering “horrible, I want to kill myself” every time tends to bring people down and sort of ruins the mood. So its just easier to skip the question. And like you said, nobody notices, they don’t really care. So why should I bother answering when its of no use. People who really want to know usually ask again and almost demand an answer, if you do ignore them.
I’m here is an answer. If you deflect you also get your point across.
As a retail worker, yup…
Am retail worker. I’m taking notes here
Something similar. I Normally go with “I’m breathing” if I really don’t want to answer honestly and saying “good thanks” feels like too much of a stretch lol.
I find most people kind of laugh the answer off and continue with conversation from there
Eh.
“Getting by” or “carrying on” assuming I don’t want to invite deeper discussion of my issues.
Even the nurses ask that in an office where a majority of patients have crippling, often painful disabilities. lmao. Can’t escape it. I just mentally replace it with “hi” in my head and respond “decent, thanks” (“hello”). Or if I’m really struggling, I leave off the thanks.
I treat it as a real question in medical settings. In some cases it can be helpful information for a provider. Even in the worst case it says “I’m not here for pleasantries, I got problems and I’m here to address them”.
It’s so ingrained in conversational habits. I find myself really struggling for a greeting when I visit someone who I know is struggling or in pain. Like, I don’t want to force them to think about how they’re doing. But then I also don’t know what else goes after that initial “Hey”. v_v
Even as someone who’s often bothered by the question, I’m fairly guilty of asking it myself, you’re right that there’s no escape.
My grandfather is quite ill, and his usual response is “as well as can be expected”
Took me years to realize that the “correct” reply is to ask the same question back, not answering.
But my go-to phrase when having just gotten out of bed, headed for my shift was “too early to tell”
Really though, it depends entirely on the person. With my partner I will try to give the most complete answer I can, with friends and coworkers it depends on how close our relationship is. With strangers it may be a completely perfunctory answer to a completely perfunctory question, especially if I’m not up for defending a non-perfunctory answer, but I like to keep my answers real when I have the spoons for it.
“Eh, been better.”
I feel like that response is real without oversharing, and invites someone to respond however they want. If they care, they can ask what’s up, or they can just say, “aw bummer man, hope it gets better for you,” or whatever.
“Fine” tone of voice fills in the rest.
Depending on the person:
“Not great tbh.”
“Pretty fucking bad. lol”
“NOT GREAT MY DUDE, NOT GREAT”these are excellent lmao
In German, we say “shitty would be bragging”.
Beschissen wär geprahlt!
The one who can not cope with this answer should not ask!
oh, nice
my goto is “muss ja”
In Finnish we have a phrase “ei kurjuutta kummempaa” which is said in a happy, jolly way and its usually accepted as “not great but I don’t want to expand on it.” It translates to “nothing worse than misery.”
“Not great but I don’t want to expand on it” is pretty much exactly the kind of response I’m looking for
Thank you for teaching me some new words
Thank you for teaching me some new words
I’m sure you’ll find it very useful. A whopping 0,06% of the worlds population speaks finnish lol
The juxtaposition is great.
Thats why I like it so much :) Too bad theres no “good” equivalent in English and the chirpy way of saying it doesn’t carry over text.
just say “not well” if you are not well. if they dont care, then what do you care what they think.
personally i find it degrading to pretend everything is fine if things are not fine.
I also find it degrading, but honesty costs me something here. That’s why I’m looking for ways to deflect instead of pretending
when i dont feel well and i dont want to answer directly, i tend to say something in lines of “nothing” as in my state is null. i think it gets the point across but doesnt overtly emphasis that you are not doing well.
