Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?
I like the tradition of “bless you!” when someone sneezes, but it is surely not necessary. And why do we say that for sneezing but not coughing?
I also say it when someone farts.
I hate this tradition fiercely and I’m glad to have moved to a place where sneezes are generally ignored. As they should be.
UK tends to ignore them more, but they’re slowly adopting the North American culture.
A sneeze was a demon leaving your body - apparently. Way back in the day.
I have a friend who says ‘coughs you’ lol
In the team I work with, we’ve established saying “Shut up!” if someone sneezes instead.
The proper response for coughing is “Die quietly”.Hahahahaha
I say gesundheit as I’m not religious and don’t like to propagate religious sentiment, but I like the idea, too. I’m not German.
Salud is good too
Religious idioms are everywhere in language, and it is seriously not a problem. We can talk about a storm of “biblical” proportions, or say hubris is inviting god’s wrath, or whatever, and none of it is condoning any actual religious belief. Plenty of people celebrate Christmas because they like family and togetherness and indulgent consumerism, even if they don’t consider themselves Christian. And like, one of my favorite explitives is Jesus Fucking Christ.
Just saying gesundheit is, like, fine. But your explaination reminds me of the people who tried to make latinx a thing. Heavy eyeroll
Hispanic non binary people around me have referred to themselves as Latin (la-teen)
Is that also cringe?
No, that makes sense since it is actually pronounceable, and has been created organically by people who are actually experiencing a problem, instead of 14 year olds on Tumblr
I think it’s appropriate to use the phrasing people use for themselves.
I say gelassenheit as I’m not superstitious and don’t like to propagate superstitious sentiment. I’m also not German.
I say “pineapple”, because unlike God, pineapples are real. Also it confuses people.
Pineapples want to digest me though
On the scale of malignancy, I’d say the pineapple’s desire to digest us is pretty tame compared to the attitude of most gods. At least it’s tasty while it does so.
And honestly? Pineapples are pretty delicious.
Say Schönheit instead and be as witty as a real German.
Funnily enough, it is not universally agreed on in German to say “Gesundheit”.
Many don’t do it any more (me included), because it is a comment on an uncontrolled body function and thus pretty intrusive.Exception to this may be people who are really close to you.
Regardless of which phrase is being said, I think it’s nice that we have a little rituals here and there.
A sneeze is often loud, sudden, startling and disruptive, so having a standard word or short phrase can ease us back into normal conversation mode without derailing the preceeding conversation (like actually asking if someone is okay could take us too far from the original topic). A quiet sneeze recuires no easing out of.
If I do a loud sneeze and no one says any variant of gesuntheit, I feel compelled to mildly apologise (pardon/excuse me) before carrying on, so one party does the little ritual to bridge between violent sound and normal speaking either way. Can be nice to “bless” the sneezer so they dont have to apologise for disrupting.
In Russian, it is “be healthy!” (будь здоров!), much to the same tune
My favorite thing about Russian is that most things translated to English sound so rude out of context, haha
Most of the speech sounds like aggressive dictation “Come over”, “Sit down”, which is such a stark contrast to the English manner of speech: “Do you think it might be possible if it doesn’t terribly trouble you to pass the salt?”
I also learned a little while ago that apparently this manner of speech is also seen as somewhat offensive in parts of Scandinavia because it’s seen as passive aggressive lol
I was at the urinal the other day and sneezed; someone said bless you from a stall.
It was awkward. Breaking one social norm to uphold another.
You can restore the social contract by putting your hand under the stall for a firm handshake. If he consents, you get a firm handshake and relief that the social contract is restored. If he refuses, then you have to deal with the shame and heartache.
If he doesn’t take the handshake the only appropriate thing to do is to wait outside the bathroom, follow him to the parking lot and then follow him home. Once you learn his address, you can start learning his routines and the routines of his family. There are many options at this point, but the one I recommend is applying for a job where he works. The next step could take a long time, potentially years. Work your way up the ladder. Take night classes to fit the roles you’re applying for internally, and dedicate yourself to the job. Delay finding “the one” and starting a family like you’ve always dreamed of. Nothing matters but the job. Bide your time and when you finally are promoted to this man’s boss, on your first day, offer a handshake. Of course, he won’t deny you. Relish this moment. Feel the warmth of his hand I yours. Smile and say “was it really that hard?” When he gives you a quizzical look, laugh it off like it was a joke. You want to call it there, but you’re in too deep. You’re making nearly 300k a year in salary and commissions and you have a clear shot at EVP if you play your cards right. Your lifestyle has changed and you have an expensive mortgage, a boat payment for a yacht you don’t have time to take out, and a number of women half your age that you spend what little free time you have with wining and dining. They have expensive tastes. You tried coke recently and you really like it. It makes your job so much easier because you need to be “on” all the time and you haven’t been sleeping well, but you’ve discovered that if you do just exactly the right amount, you can perform at peak. You have it totally figured out.
Sneezing at a urinal must be terrible lmaoooo
I’m not religious and just ignore people that say bless you. It’s entirely disingenuous anyway. No one is aware of what they’re saying, let alone means it. It’s just a thing for them to feel good and nothing to do with the sneezer.
Who hurt you lol
I think when you haven’t grown up in a culture that says it, it’s weird. If you’ve grown up in a Christian-based country/society and are quite the traditionalist, you probably think it’s normal.
It’s so weird how you can sneeze a million times and people will treat you like the panda meme, but a few coughs in the row and suddenly this quiet blanket of dread falls over the room like “Are they dying? Should we call the CDC?” 😂
It is agreed to in the sense that it’s part of the social contract. People not doing it could face social consequences.
Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?
I look in the mirror when there is one.
And when i bump into someone i go “SORRY IM SORRY IM SO SORRY IM SORRY AREYOUOKAY”
Like how we all face the door in an elevator
That’s only a movie thing so that the camera can see the actors. People don’t do it in real life (at least not around here).
You face the wall?
The door is a wall too.
Some elevators have doors on opposite sides (e.g. this is common in places with a car park entrance)
Not sure I agree with your appreciation of the elevator. I don’t know where you are (I’ve never heard “ope” either) but at least in Australia not everyone faces the door in an elevator. I’ll copy my own comment left below to someone else:
…you are in an elevator for a very short time, unlike with public transport for example. You might as well be facing the direction you need to go to, so that when the doors open, you go, instead of having to turn and then go.
Second… I regularly take crowded elevators and while it’s true that almost nobody stands facing back to the door, it’s also true that easily half the people choose to stand sideways, facing the side walls. (Which btw makes someone with a pram or wheelchair easier to get into the elevator). It’s a mix of being ready to go and being able to rest your back against the walls of the elevator more than an unspoken social convention.
in Australia not everyone faces the door in an elevator.
In NYC it’s illegal not to. It’s a fun law.
Treating white conservatives like humans.
I personally really enjoy facing the back of an elevator especially if it’s crowded. And then I start talking to everybody and asking them various sorts of questions. Often asking them to give a speech during the meeting that I impromptly called. It’s wonderful to see how nervous people get.
Hands clasped behind the back means, “just looking”. Seems pretty universal. People do this in stores all the time.
It helps you balance when you’re leaning forward to look at something.
I think it also conveys a signal of “I’m not going to try to touch that” which might put others at ease. It’s also a good “idle pose” that doesn’t convey disinterest like crossed arms or hands in pockets does.
This is my typical art museum pose, so I can get close without touching or falling into the paintings
I do it because it relieves pressure on my back
This was always just old man walk to me but I never thought about why old guys all seemed to do it
Honestly I do this because I like to fidget and I’m afraid I’ll reach out to grab something I’m not supposed to.
I did this during the entire training day of one of my first jobs, and at the end my boss asked me if I’d ever been in the ROTC. I said no, having no clue what it was, until I looked it up later at home.
The job was BOH at a pizza joint 🫠
“Ope! Lemme just scooootch on by ya!”
Having to sell our labor for a fraction of the profit and being outcast if you want to opt out.
Coupling healthcare to employment.
Forcing the majority of retirement savings to be tied up in the stock market and killing company sponsored pensions.
Those aren’t social rules and 2 of the 3 are about as regional as OP’s “ope”.
Coupling healthcare to employment.
Outside of America, this is seen as absurd.
How is an economic system not a social rule? Where does one end and the other begin?
One is economic, the other is social? Idk, those are two different things in my mind.
cool I don’t do any of that stuff on account of im retarded
Not being able to have a video call in public b**** how is it any different than having a conversation with someone
Because typically they have the volume 2-3x louder.
With worse audio quality, the shitty metallic sounds often really rub me the wrong way.
Order of Adjectives. You do this unconsciously and don’t even know you’re doing it.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/adjectives-order
“The big black house up on the hill.”
Never “The black big up on the hill house.”
1 - opinion - unusual, lovely, beautiful
2 - size - big, small, tall
3 - physical quality - thin, rough, untidy
4 - shape - round, square, rectangular
5 - age - young, old, youthful
6 - colour - blue, red, pink
7 - origin - Dutch, Japanese, Turkish
8 - material - metal, wood, plastic
9 - type - general-purpose, four-sided, U-shaped
10 - purpose - cleaning, hammering, cookingMy favorite one of these unconscious linguistic rules is expletive infixation. We say “fan-fucking-tastic” but “fanta-fucking-stic” sounds completely wrong.
a Fanta-fucking stick is a completely different thing
That’s a language rule, tho
One could argue language rules are social rules tho
Yup, if you mix up the adjective order, people will look at you like you’re an alien.
“Your leader, to him take me!”
All of them, in a way. We don’t sign on to social rules we just kind of learn them, usually from our parents, then from other kids. Someone who’s never been in an elevator might face inwards. I’m from the North of England. The first time I took a ride on the London tube I was 30ish, and I was completely unaware of the incredibly complex and subtle social rules at play there. I made eye contact and even smiled. I tried to strike up a conversation. This was completely wrong to do, it turns out. I never agreed to be so unfriendly, specifically on the tube, but now, I am.
So anyway to answer your question, the weird requirement to sort of suppress your humanity on public transit in big cities is maybe necessary, definitely not hilarious, but very, very strange.
Nice point
Neurodivergent peeps in this thread: 👀
Thats most of lemmy lol
LMAO “most”
Not discussing pay rate with coworkers/colleagues. I mean, talk about complicity via fear.
Not discussing pay rate with coworkers/colleagues. I
My day job is Union. Everyone’s rates are well-published. We have less boring things to talk about.
Might be true for non-union gigs, but from my experience in union shops nobody cares because everyone can see what the pay rates are. Same with retirement plans.
I feel like anyone who isn’t heavily involved in left wing internet spaces understands why you don’t want to discuss pay with coworkers.
Someone fears their coworkers will find out they are making less, and will think they are less skilled, or maybe a pushover.
Or someone fears their coworkers will find out they are making more, and will fear their coworkers think they were manipulative in order to get it, think they are egotistical for sharing, or may become envious.
And then pay discrepencies invite unwanted feelings about “do I actually deserve to make more than him - I don’t think I’m worth it” or “I make so much less rhan her, I must suck at my job.”
Not discussing pay is a convenient way to sweep all this under the rug
That benefits bosses and deprives workers from knowing how much their labor is worth.
That’s my point. Unless you are an online leftist, you probably aren’t constantly analyzing the world in terms of bosses exploiting their workers. You are far more concerned about your social standing among your peers.
Sort of? I’m a team lead (middle management) so I have a vested interest in seeing my team is paid as high as possible. As part of goal planning we have frank discussions of certifications, training AND salary. That includes discussing where I’m at and what it took to get there. Its pushed folks who otherwise would be content with what the company gives them and gives them a roadmap to move up.
Wow you’re the exact opposite of my experience of middle management! Which is: never discuss salary, don’t encourage certification or training, do not explain how you got there, do not give employees a roadmap, just pile on the work and stoke fear.
Sounds like par for the course in the US. 🤌🏼
I remember being a kid and hearing about a family member’s workplace instituting a rule against discussing pay after some people got upset they were making less than their coworkers and started advocating for higher pay.
Neither I nor anyone in my immediate family was a leftist, but it seemed really obvious the primary reason for the rule was that management didn’t want people to have reasons to demand higher pay.
True!
