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“I mean it’s not rocket science, guys.” - Boromir on using a catapult to launch the ring into Mt. Doom

Sometimes I will smell something and not be sure if it’s really good weed or a dead skunk.

“It feels like there’s a party in my gut and everyone is spinning.”

Arms race between fursuit noses and camera lenses when?

Are we absolutely sure some dinos had tiny arms like this and they didn’t just not find all the bones? 🤔

Fun stands for

Fuck U N leave.

Without it, my home state of California wouldn’t be what it is today. My neighbors probably think it’s cool, too, since a lot of them are various flavors of Asian, including Chinese.

The oldest thing I can remember is wandering around strangers at a party in the backyard of the first house I lived in as a kid. When I told my mom and described everything I could remember she said the only time they ever had such a party was when my brother was born and I was 2.

Punch a nazi, get 2 days off going to school full of nazis. Nice.

Also: The nazi kid’s name is Spud. Bro is a literal potato.

You already have iron in your blood. If the iron in the food you ate that morning could be pulled out by the machine, there would probably be no safe way of ever using such a machine period.

I mean… IDK. What was the illegal data that briefly was allowed to be accessed? Someone’s CC info? CSAM? I’d feel different knowing exactly what I was criminally responsible for upon pressing that button.

Being hot pisses me off.

People were injecting shit into their dicks so when they got measured for their uniform, they’d have more material in the crotch to help get air on the long jump. I’m probably misremembering the exact figures, but they calculated that something like an extra inch of material in the uniform could translate to up to 5 extra meters in a ski jump. So they had penis inspectors checking to make sure competitors weren’t plumping their pricks.

That’s how they steal your genetic data.

What do you do if they drop trou?

Greed, Wrath, Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Envy, and Sloth.

Furries are only, like, 6 of those things. 🤷‍♂️

If God wanted Kirk to be alive, he wouldn’t have allowed him to become a blood fountain.

Me, controlled by a rat grabbing my hair under a hat: leaves a ham sandwich on a table

“I’m too drunk to taste this chicken!” - Col. Sanders

unless its bruised

How hard can it be to give a flower a bruise? 🤷‍♂️