I used to be a home shitter. Then I took a job doing over the road trucking. Now I don’t care. As long as it looks like I won’t catch anything putting cheeks to seat I’ll go for it.
Hell, sometimes I’ll stop and pinch one off on my way home just so I won’t stink out my own bathroom. Giant gaps in the stall where people can look? Fine, enjoy the show. I would and have made eye contact.
Free your poops!
I was walking along a scenic trail in my city a few years ago. This particular spot had a spectacular eastern view, so I stopped to take in the last of what seemed to be a spectacular sunset.
It took my moronic ass about 15 seconds to remember that the sun usually sets in the west. So what was that red orange glow on the horizon?
A wildfire? No, I’d have heard about that.
Must be a… Nuke? What else would make that much light that fast. It had blown and I was seeing the burning destruction in its wake.
I spent the next minute or so basically shitting myself. Trying to figure out which way the fallout would blow. Thinking about all the emergency drinking water and food I never stocked. Thinking how horrific a death radiation sickness would be.
I was straight up having a panic attack!
Well then the most glorious blood moon I ever seen came up over the horizon. Huge and glowing orange.
I learned a bit about myself that day. Mostly that I am unlikely to thrive in any sort of apocalypse type situation. And that I’m a moron. Moon was cool though!
So your saying I should take my battery powered grinder, saw-za, and crack pipe to a data center?
I once made a bong out of a cantaloupe and two carrots.
Imma city bus driver. The other day I was pulled over picking someone up, and wouldn’t you know it, some asshat in an obnoxious truck coal rolls me. And of course I had my window open because spring.
I gotta say the noise is worse than the smoke. Why anyone would spend money to make their vehicle sound that way will forever baffle me.
But anyways, to my joy the guy was immediately pulled over! I asked around and I guess the guy got nailed for: interfering with transit operations, illegal tint, and failure to obey traffic signals. About 350$'s worth of tickets.
Ya, that doesn’t look like a conference room where anyone would entertain “high net worth clients”. Cramped, metal window frames, crappy furniture, cheap ceiling tiles. This looks like a room where someone would watch sexual harassment and forklift safety videos before they start working in a warehouse.
You’ve never had smallpox.
You probably have never been hungry. Famine used to be a thing that just happened every ten years or so.
You’ve probably always had ready access to drinking water.
There’s always been wars, people doing terrible things. Slavery and genocide are pretty much par for the course whatever the ethnicity/region.
By most metrics this is the safest time to be alive.
But ya, shits pretty fucked still. So I say we all wake up tomorrow and try and do a little better.
I think the trick is copious amounts of cocaine!
We prefer the term- Trumpistanians. Thank you very much
Always give up. Never persevere. Lol jk obviously you should write it!
If it sucks who cares? And if it doesn’t then hell ya brother! Besides, writing is like any other skill in that it takes practice. So do it.
5, obviously. We’re gonna smoke up in the bathroom!!
It must be, because I went to public schools and they weren’t so bad. Sure there was highjinx and the occasional bit of vandalism, but you could at least still take a poo if you had to.
Explain yourself!!
I thought chestnuts were like almost extinct?
This! I tell young men I come across having trouble the ladies department. Work on the friend part of girlfriend before all else.
Archive It said she lost her home, job and dog. What a bunch of assholes.
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Mine has a seed library. Perhaps they have poppies?