Hi, please be kind with me. I’m feeling really vulnerable and conflicted about this. I would really appreciate any help or comfort.
I had a bit too much to drink and had unprotected sex with a guy who was sober and came on my back, but it also got on the bed. I was too out of it to remember the exact timing but he said there’s no need to take plan B. I’m not on any birth control.
I’ve taken plan B twice before and read stories of how awful it is. I did feel very depressed and overwhelmed in the weeks after taking it, but that could also be explained by stressors that I was dealing with at the time. I’m worried about the side effects, especially considering this would be my third time taking it.
Should I take plan B? Can anyone who has taken it multiple times please share about the side effects and their experiences with it? Is the pull-out method less risky than I’m thinking it is, or is this not worth the gamble even if I didn’t need Plan B? A pregnancy would be a huge disruption, and I don’t even want to imagine it.
I’m also just feeling so lost, disoriented, and sad. I don’t do well with casual intimacy, yet I find myself getting into these situations. What should I be doing differently? Is it just a matter of drinking less or is there something more underlying that I need to process? I’ve noticed an increase in unprotected sex recently which makes me feel even worse about it all.
I pop pills all the time
Plan B’s It’s probably safe as long as you don’t make it a habit
Even then, the worst I got was reversible liver damage
I’d say go for it
Also, a less reckless piece of advice:
Is it just a matter of drinking less or is there something more underlying that I need to process?
This is the type of question, that, if you have to ask…
You probably already know the answer.
See if you can get an appointment. Their waiting lists can be months long.
Op if you can swing ~30 pick up a drug test at the drugstore while you’re there. It’s a benzodiazepine, for future reference.
Take Plan B.
Drink less.
You can also get a copper IUD as an emergency contraceptive
After the fact?
Yes, but that is only true for the copper one
We are individuals but also part of a community. You’re getting connection, exploration, recreation, and risk all in one package. Which is most compelling?
As long as you haven’t taken any emergency contraception in the last few weeks i think, you should be fine. A pharmasist should be able to give you advice on this. Yes there’s a lot of hormones, but it shouldn’t have any permanent effects. Seeing as the alternative would be very disrupting for you, I would suggest taking the pill to be sure. Good luck!
Disclaimer: take plan B. Use a fucking condom for Christ sake. HIV is real, you are gambling with two lives, yours and that of potential offspring in the future.
Now just for educational purposes: there are only a few days where you can actually get pregnant during the month. Open up Wikipedia, remember when your period came last and count the days. If its not even close you don’t need plan B. But get to an obgyn and get a set of STD tests done.
full disclosure: I’m a man and a proud father of a girl that came to be because I relied on my wife to count correctly…
Please act responsibly and take better care if yourself. You are loved and you are worth that. Please!
Not every woman’s cycle is completely regular though - counting days is good for better chances of having a child, but it’s unreliable if you don’t want one. So I’d say OP should take plan B anyway.
Thank you so much for your support. It made me tear up, and I will take your advice to heart
To support what others have said: even precum can get you pregnant.
It’s not that “pull out is a tad unreliable” - it is horrible and the failure quota is ridiculously high. And that’s only pregnancy, not even considering the whole disease fun you’re signing up for. With a bit of bad luck that’s a lifetime of annoying medication, no a few weeks.
This means from my point of fire in order of urgency: A) First of all: stranger, feel loved 🤗 I find it awesome that you have he courage to ask this question! B) get plan B. It’ll suck if you’re reacting but that’s only a week or two. C) Review your sexual habits: if you’re into spontaneous drunk sex figure out a reliable protection that you don’t have to think too much about. If it’s with strangers there’s no way around a condom in addition if you don’t want to take something for your hepathitis or HIV for the rest of your life. If it’s people you know and trust then something “just” against pregnancy is enough. If it’s a mix of both I suggest getting a baseline protection that you don’t have to think about in the heat of the moment and condoms as preventative plan B for the cases where you’re not too sure.
It sounds like a cliche but it’s true l: The more the dude resists protection the more you’ll need it. After all it will be you who’ll be alone with the consequences. You’re worth more than a few fun moments for some dick!
Also, semen doesn’t have to be deposited inside the vagina in order to get a woman pregnant. It’s rare, but possible for semen on the labia to allow enough sperm to swim through to fertilize an egg.
There’s also PrEP, PEP, and DoxyPEP for HIV prevention and other STIs. These harm-reduction options help people reduce internalized stigma for sexual habits which, counter to what your conservative aunt will tell you, will help steer you toward safer habits over time. It’s a great time to be alive and sexually active! The days of regretting a poor sexual decision for weeks, months, or years is over.
I’m too disconnected to be knowledgeable enough to recommend or discourage alternatives, just want to note that one has to educate themselves on what is right - your key words will help with that for sure! For example: Just from looking up DoxyPEP: That’s an antibiotic based product and would be useless against HIV. But might be good at reducing the risk of syphilis and other nasty bacterial bullshit.
The other thing where I absolutely agree with you is the issue of the stigma: It must not be a taboo to enjoy oneself, explore own sexuality and be self confident into oneself as a full, human being with whatever sexuality floats ones boat.
That’s why I’m so happy about OP asking even though it’s a shitty situation: I’m sure jt will help some passive reader to realize something about their own sexuality and that’s an awesome thing!
In short: Thank you :)
Edit: sorry for the reply spam I got an error message about posting but it seemed to got through anyway.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support
The correct answer to any question of the form, "I’m facing [this risk], so should I take [this safety precaution]? is always “Yes.”
in the weeks after taking it
Compared to how long 18 years takes…
No conflict. Take plan B. Pull-out is a pregnancy magnet. Like not even remotely viable.
Play safer next time. You are far too valuable for an STD or unwanted pregnancy.
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
First off, yes, take the pill immediately. The side effects are no worse than having a period and they are not compounding. It’s not ideal to use it as your first line of defense and therefore very often, but you don’t need to worry about taking it a third time (or fourth or fifth time).
Second, get yourself a hard “no sex with a new person while drunk”policy. If you find you can’t stick to that when already drunk, then yes drinking less is necessary. You can’t really properly consent when you’re not sober.
If you’re having sex that you don’t feel good about having, it might be wise to step away from the social situation that has been leading to that happening. Do you have or can you find a social group that does things that don’t involve drinking with strangers? Maybe a hobby or hiking group?
If you are drinking too much in situations where not everyone is drinking, it might be a touch of social anxiety that you are trying to self medicate away. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best proven method for managing this. It’s not like regular talk therapy, it’s very goal oriented with practical steps to take every day and not much (if any) talking about everything bad that’s ever happened. If you can’t afford to see a therapist there are excellent self guided resources and workbooks available.
I don’t know you or your situation, only what you stated above. I’m sure there is a lot more going on than you’d care to share with anonymous strangers. But looking into both why you are drinking and what is leading to regrettable sex will be your best bet.
Go get that pill, lady.
Thank you so much for your empathy and thoughtfulness
I don’t have advice on whether to take it or not, I just wanted to say I’m sending love and support, this is such a raw thing to be navigating 🫂
I will say, if theres any way you can talk about this with someone IRL please consider doing so and trying to create a real life support system for yourself. Whether that’s friend, a therapist, family, someone nonjudgemental who you can discuss where you’re at could be really helpful, especially when you’re noticing an increase in risky behavior.
There is value in being able to talk things through, try to process where you find yourself and what needs the risky behavior might be filling, and why its something you do or dont want to continue. That kind of discussion and immediate support is hard to have via text posts over the internet
Sending love your way, please take care of yourself my friend
Thank you so much for your empathy and support. I really appreciate it
You are very welcome, please take good care of yourself :)
Lots of talk about plan B, but I would consider (if you have insurance) getting some pRep and Doxy in your system to prevent as many infections as possible.
I hope things get better for you, I believe in you.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful note
Take the Plan B but also take a couple STI tests in the months coming up.
Pull out is only useful for a couple that wants to have a kid or two in the near future, but wants to space them out. If your goal is a few kids, but not the 15-20 your body could produce with regular unprotected sex it is great. For everyone else it is terrible for all the reasons others have mentioned.
