scientists says
This is not a serious publication.
The female astronauts shouldn’t have dressed that way /s
Lol. Chances for accidentally short circuit something with stray fluid are much much higher than creating a new human this way.
I don’t think there will be any problem if you do it with just one hand instead of two, since you’ll need the other hand to hold onto something. Although they have all sorts of straps there, so the problem is completely made up.
I’m not sure nofap is the only viable strategy. What about requiring vasectomy or unisex birth control?
Btw, porn in space is an unfapped market niche.
requiring vasectomy
Yeah definitely man. I mean if you wanna go to space why don’t we jump to required castration while we’re at it?
Then provide reproductive healthcare in space
Lol wat
can’t have neither in the long run, people will fuck in space sooner or later
Great… Another job I’m not qualified for
It was odd that the question was at the top of the application form too!
Wrong attribution to NASA aside, I think all adults know that there is much more surface tension than water in errr…the rope. Thanks Raiderkev for that awesome rundown in the comments.
People venturing outside of our atmosphere are advised against pleasuring themselves in zero gravity.
The reason? Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
Seems all they have to do is invent some kind of nutsack.
Is it just me or does this seem tremendously unlikely and easy to prevent?
The chances of a solar particle hitting your RAM and causing a bit to flip are tremendously unlikely as well, but there’s hardware made to prevent that from happening (I realize ECC does more than that).
I mean, do female astronauts/cosmonauts regularly float naked in the space station?
I propose funding for an aerospace cock sock that could keep everyone safe from stray nut.
Nut allergies strike again!
Stroke?
Not long ago I learned nut allergies aren’t really a thing anymore. https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2025/nov/11/peanut-allergies-declining-children-explained
Bam. Fun fact.
All of the greatest inventions which revolutionized key aspects of our daily lives have begun in aerospace engineering.
Pens that write upside down. Ice cream that doesn’t melt. Cock socks that don’t leak and are easy to clean.
This is why we fund NASA!
These guys never heard of a “posh-wank?”
I never beat my meat at Oxford. What’s a posh-wank?
A wank whilst wearing a condom
With a condom is what I have heard. Expensive hence posh I guess!
Jacking it with a condom on
I could Google it but I’d rather hear it from you since, no, I have never heard of a posh-wank.
That’s when you eat your cum so you don’t have to clean up right?
Not exactly haha…its when you jack it with a condom on
Jack what?
Wow…
A coat.
Wait why would I jack a coat if I already have a condom on?
You’re fine. Just wrong direction.
IT
Thats just normal recycling
That’s a normal wank…er…right? Right?
Yeah but you have a side salad with it
Have they actually done a fluid simulation, I still hold the position you can’t bukake in space or microgravity as it where
Semen isn’t gravity fed so I don’t think the lack of it would make a difference.
Idk I think semen can have a little gravity, as a treat
The NASA ScRoTE. Self-contained Repository of Testicular Ejaculate.
Receptacle*
Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
New fetish unlocked
Like how would it even get all the way up there lmao
Pornhub: no Problem, we deliver.
Pornhub getting into the space race would be a hilarious and welcomed turn of events. The rockets naming potential alone is worth it.
This is garbage
Sounds like there might be an emerging market for fleshlight shaped jizz vacuums.
Imagining some poor horny astronut with suitcase sprawled out on the bed the night before his big flight. His inner monologue churning out scenarios, crunching probabilities of situations where he’d be caught in an embarrassing situation with his vacusuck 2000 as he repeatedly packs and unpacks it.
“Well, honey? You bringing your Thirsty Kirsty® or not?”
Hahahaha
It’s a valid emergency propulsion method and I’m sick of being told it’s not.
One day I’m gonna save a space station, that will show them.
“CRANK THE THROTTLE!” “STOP CALLING IT THAT!”
there should absolutely be a shitty trash movie about this.
I hope it’s really techy talking about overall force, nozzle velocity, etc, but also soapy, so the audience knows what the main propulsion expert is fighting for …
“if you nut in space, it push you backwards.” - Griffin McElroy
We might soon have a drug that stops sperm production. That would be welcome news for space gooners.
A male birth control pill has been right around the corner for like 30 years. I wouldn’t hold my breath.
We already have drugs that stop women from getting pregnant from direct nuts, let alone stray ones. I’m not saying that female astronauts should go on birth control to let the boys blast rope, but this cannot be the actual reason.
NASA scientists says-
Shouldn’t it be “NASA scientist says-” or “NASA scientists say-”
I’m dyslexic and not native English speaker so I’m not sure. But it sounds weird when I say it in my head.
Than about the other thing: the subject. Doctors say it’s necessary to ejaculated at least once a week to lower the chance of prostate cancer. Also, not doing anything about being horny is fucked up. I’m wearing a catheter for 4 weeks (one and half weeks to go) and it sucks so bad. Every woman I see makes me horny now, whenever I see something sexy like a bikini in a commercial or 2 people kissing during a show, I get a woodie, which hurts because I had surgery on my eurethra. Every night, the entire night, I have a woodie. I know, because the pain it causes keeps me awake. The longer the horniness is cropped up, the worse it gets. I know astronauts didn’t have surgery down there, but not jurking off makes many men bombs of cropped up horniness. It can also affect concentration and performance of tasks. Men need their relief. As do women.
So, NASA scientists, why don’t you invent a seed killing, particle capturing jerkoff sock for astronauts. It sounds stupid but it’s oh so important.
Edit: about the Grammer, I was right.
Also, what a slop website.
Pretty good English to intuitively recognize that. My brain just autocorrected to “Scientist says”.
S/than/then
That’s suppose to be a time order of speech conduction declaration, not a comparison direction pointer shift.
Yeah you’re right! I know when to use which, don’t know why I made this mistake :)
Yup, awful website. No cookie rejection option and “This article was originally published on 23 July 20222”
I trust people in the future would know more about space than we do.
Yes. The ‘thing’ you’re describing is subject-verb agreement.
This website is complete junk.
