I’m from Canada so everyone except for the indigenous originally came from somewhere else. I love it when people ask my about my roots, but someone told me it was rude.
Would you think it rude to ask an indigenous person of their background? If yes, then the answer is yes.
I wouldn’t. I’m really interested in different cultures.
There’s sort of a racist undertone to that kind of question that can put people on guard. I think you just need to be cognizant of that when you frame a question.
The annoying version goes like this:
White person: Where are you from?
Brown person: Calgary
White person, squinting at their skin: Ok, but where are you from?
Brown person: Still Calgary.
White person: visibly frustrated
The annoying/racist part being that white people are assumed to originate from North America, but literally everyone else (including indigenous people, lol) are immigrants.
The basic question is fine and I’ve never seen someone upset about being asked. But if you go into more detailed questions, keep in mind they might mispercieve what you’re asking.
ROOTS, BLOODY ROOTS
🤘
So much is contexts dependent.
If it is obvious that you are asking because someone is different, it can feel icky regardless of the asker’s intentions. For example, if the one brown person at the front desk always gets asked this by customers, but no one seems to ask their coworkers. No follow up questions necessary, just the fact of being singled out feels bad.
I think it is less about being from North America and more about being in the ingroup or outgroup depending on ancestry.
Compare this to the context of travelers hanging out at a youth hostel. Everyone is curious about where everyone else is from and it is fun to talk about it.
It depends on the context. Some people might consider their family information to be private and not want to share that with random strangers.
It is all in how you do it. I ask people about their family history all the time.
You mean strangers, or people you’re well acquainted with?
People i establish a rapport with and again situational.
On a bus or a train… no. In a setting where we are all their to socialize, yes.
As a man, I’ve learned to never say anything about a woman’s hair, beyond “Love it!”, or “Looks great!”
Fashionable hair is difficult to maintain and long hair changes daily depending on all sorts of conditions
A friend of mine gets asked that all the time, cause he’s brown-skinned with dark, curly hair in Germany. There’s the implication that although he’s a German citizen and was born and lived in Germany all his life, his “roots” are somewhere else, and therefore he isn’t a “real German”.
If you get asked that question constantly due to your looks, it gets annoying quickly, cause it implies the question whether you fully belong in this country, so keep that in mind.
except for the indigenous originally came from somewhere else
This is not true. Even the indigenous originally came from Africa, because we are all African apes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homininae
Excellent pedantry, 10/10
“We are all African.” — Richard Dawkins
“You are a fungal organism.” - Paul Stamets
“We’re made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan
Yeah, it’s stupid. I hate it when people ask me question like this. I am not from anywhere, I am from here.
Usually some drunk idiot I meet though insist that I need to tell them the origin country of my great great grandparents. I want to punch them.
I’ve encountered this, as if it’s somehow a problem to be disconnected from your ancestors’ country.
Guess what? I visited Scotland (where 2/4 of my grandparents are from) a few years back. Had a great time at my favourite whisky distillery. Zero strong feelings for the place otherwise though.
When you ask that you are more or less subconsciously confirming your stereotypes you have of certain group of people. When I talk to people why do I have to know where that persons parents are born? It’s just putting people into small boxes they have nothing to do with and I hate being put there myself especially when it’s one of the first question. I prefer asking/being asked about the career and life path.
Eh it depends on the person and how much they identify with their roots. For some people ancestry is a fun hobby. For others it is something that they are trying to escape because throughout their lives people have judged them via stereotypes associated with it. So the easiest way is to ask: do you identify with your ancestory? Probably not that directly, you can allude to your interest.
As a Chinese American, I don’t find it offensive. I mean at this point I kinda just embraced my background, I mean I still have a Chinese name as my legal name and I still speak Cantonese and Mandarin (with very basic fluency tho)
Unless you say it like: “Oh, your English is very good! Where are you from?” and the person clearly has a native-accent 🙄 (don’t do it like this)
(hasn’t happened yet, usually people are either much more overt like using racial slurs, or just not display racism at all)
I think you should just ask something like: “What is your ancestral background?” more direct and IMO sounds a lot better. But I think the context is key, you need to feel the vibe in the room is good before you ask that, don’t just walk up to someone and ask that as the first question.
But I was born in China, so I am technically speaking not “from” here, but if you are in the US and ask an Asian person born and grew up in the US that question, they might not like it. You should probably frame it like: “Hey I’m just curious, what is your ancestral background?”
I have kind of the reverse situation. If I were anymore white I’d be transparent. I’m from the States originally, but I speak Dutch with some degree of fluency and …am very white.
In everyday interactions my roots don’t often come up. But if I talk to someone long enough after 15-20 minutes something about my grammar or accent will tip people off to the fact I ain’t from around here.
Mostly people just complement me for my Dutch and add that most Americans don’t bother to learn it (this however is changing rapidly since we have had so many people from N America move here and immerse as quickly as they can the last few years.)
But once in a while they will ask some rather pointed questions about things like religion - assuming I’m a crazy xian - or racism - assuming because I’m white and from the States I must be a racist - etc.
My wife (100% Dutch, couldn’t possibly be more Dutch) works with refugees, and I’ve helped on many occasions over the years. One of them has become a good friend of ours. And to the refugees it definitely matters where someone is from and it’s the first thing they will ask one another. It is sometimes critical to segregate people from different places or cultures, for safety. I think because of this they don’t mind when whitty asks them where they are from also. Most will want to talk about their home country.
But, these are refugees, not someone whose parents immigrated here three generations ago and just happen to have brown skin. Asking a non-white person where they are really from is Not Done. But once you get to know someone they will probably bring it up in conversation.
All that said, some Dutch people can be hella racist despite our reputation for tolerance.
It heavily depends on context. I love to chat about mine but I won’t if I sense that there’s a risk of discrimination. The amount of information I divulge depends heavily on how close we are. If you ask it out of the blue and you’re not someone I trust well, it comes off as rude.
Hello from Ontario
Fellow Ontarian. Go Raptors.
It is kind of impolite.
Not everyone can afford going to the salon every week to get their roots fixed.
