Be it your best friend, your dog, cat, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, and all that exists in between. How did you meet them?
“Insane asylum”, you know what i mean.
She lived in an entirely different city across the country (Europe, so like two hours of train ride).
She saw me on Facebook, based on photos from a goth festival in our city, so I got a message on Messanger from a profile without a profile picture and no mutual friends. We talked for a bit, I was single at the time, and we eventually decided to meet. I had no idea how she looks like, and I kind of found this idea of a blind date funny - either it works, or I’ll get a good story out of it.
We decided to meet and go to a local goth scene hangout, and not only she was really pretty, she also brought two bottles of mead. We managed to drink both of them before even getting to the hangout, where it turned out that she was actually not only a classmate of my best friend (a long time ago), but also used to be part of the scene around 5 years ago (before I joined it), before she went no-contact and changed her nickname due to a relationship (that eventually turned out really terrible). So, she knew most of my friends.
That was 7 years ago. At the time she was living in a small flat, after just getting out of a 7 y.o terrible relationship that she couldn’t leave due to having a mortgage, but she managed to save enough on a minimal wage to leave when she found out he was cheating. Her grandma was living with her in her small flat, and she was really a terrible person, even had her aunt with the most entitled child move in, and they were even worse. Always arguing, screaming, being rude, and just acting like dicks. She let them live with her, just because they had nowhere to go, even though she was earning a minimal wage. Them saying that “If we don’t like it, we should move out”, or that “I shouldn’t argue, because I don’t live here”, while I was actually helping her with rent they weren’t doing anything for was insane.
I kept visiting her almost daily, spending time in the one small 5x5m room she had for herself, even though it was two hour train ride. During covid, I was mostly staying at her place, and since she loved animals (her mother worked at a zoo, before cancer got her), we discussed what we want to get, and pet racoon was high on the list. And when she said that we will get a racoon once we live together, I immediately found a flat in my city, and we moved in together around 5 years ago. We stole the ashes of her mother and went no-contact with the people living at her old flat. They can burn in hell.
Unfortunately, racoons are not easily legal to own, but we got a lot of different animals instead. She also helped me with starting to make our own goth events, DJ, and help local promoters, and now we’re responsible for more than half of goth events that happen in our city. She’s now earning more that I do (and I work in IT), and I’m really happy how did everything turned out. We have no idea how did the rest of her familly end up, but we don’t really care.
We are kind of planning a wedding, with only witnesses, but so far what’s stopping is that I can’t find my birth certificate, and that it looks like it’s not possible for both of us to have both surnames (the options are one of us keeps theirs, and the other get’s both, or we choose one only, and we both want to have both), so we kind of didn’t want to bother with it for a while.
Why would you not both be able to take both names? Is there some archaic, patriarchal law getting in the way?
When I was looking through the official marriage papers you submit when oficially requesting marriage, to see what I need to do if we would want to get married, that option simply wasn’t there in the checkboxes. And I asked for clarification, and apparently our laws don’t allow that combination, at least not as a part of the marriage process.
I haven’t really looked into it more, and a friend told me it’s very probable that we could just choose one of the available options and then submit a separate request to change my surename to add the missing one. It was also more than a year ago, and someone also told me that our marriage laws did go through a revision recently and it might be actually possible to choose both for both now. I’ll have to re-check again, but I’m certain that at least last year, it wasn’t possible.
Oh, one option I found a funny loophole was that we could marry, she’d take both, then divorce while keeping our new surenames (so she still has both), then marry again and I’d take both. I would end up with three surenames, mine twice (since she already has both, and I’m keeping mine and taking her current at the point of second marriage), but while that would be pretty funny, realistically it’s easier to just file for a surename change after wedding :D
As for the reason, who knows? But an ancient patriarchic custom is probably the reason, I’d guess that especially historically it’s not really common for a man to take his wife surename in general, and usually it’s just the bride either taking the man’s or keeping both.
On a dating app, shockingly enough. I’d been single for a year and not really social so I decided to check out an app just to see how it’d go. He pretty much did the same thing. Zero expectations. Zero hope, really.
We were in the same city. Liked a lot of the same games and movies. Talked for three months prior to meeting (in case one of us was a psycho killer-- safety first!).
We are on our sixteenth year and he’s still the most interesting person on the planet.
She served me a pizza. Quattro Formagge.
April will be 30 years together.
That’s so cheesy. ❤️
It progressed rapidly from her pizza to her calzones
After a big life upheaval, I decided I needed something fun to do, so I hopped on reddit and went to LFG to find an online game of D&D. Had great fun, but scheduling was difficult, so we kept losing players. The DM put out another LFG post and grabbed a few candidates that is remaining players went through.
And so we chose her. And it was great, we were a party again, full of shenanigans and having fun.
COVID hit and everyone and everything went back into upheaval. That DM ended up having to leave so I chose to pick up the reins for my own game. What a game it was. I’ve never had such high highs again as a DM.
Unfortunately through COVID and life itself, we had a lot of heavy things happening. But after a couple of years of knowing these people, we were kinda a found family, despite never having met. So sometimes we’d have calls at 3am when someone needed to talk. Sometimes we’d cancel DnD to do something less intense.
Throughout this, I had been going through my own really heavy things and She was there, treating me more kindly than I knew was possible. She would listen and validate me. She helped talk me down from a ledge or two. She was just endlessly patient and sweet.
So seven years on, we’ve both been through the ringer, been up and down and harder down. But we have grown so much and learned so much together and from one another. She was my best friend and as close as anyone in my life has ever gotten. She’s still my best friend but on Christmas she kissed me, so we’ve been exploring a new angle of our relationship and learning how deeply one can truly love. It’s kinda been a joke between us for a while, but I really think I’m going to marry her and spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy.
Tl;dr: online D&D created a family
I took a bus for 3 hours to visit a friend, they drove 9 hours to visit the same friend. I thought it was unfair for them to drive back on their own so I offered to share the drive.
I still don’t know why they accepted. I also didn’t have a plan to get home from their house. I guess it didn’t matter because we’re married now.
Did you ever make it back?
I stayed a week to get the cheapest flights available.
Upon returning, I realised I’d made a mistake. The last week had been the happiest week of my life, and I didn’t want to leave them.
Just after returning home, my state closed all borders to incoming travelers. If I were to go back, it would be a one way trip.
I found a hire car, packed all my belongings in it, said goodbye to my family, and started the long drive to move in.
6 months later, I was trying to decide if I wanted to get married or not. I tried to compare the two options as extremes: living with them every day for the rest of my life with no breaks, or never speaking to them again. I couldn’t find the slightest issue with the former, and the latter terrified me.
I proposed. They were very surprised. After several minutes of me confirming that this was not a joke, they got excited and said yes.
Neither of us wanted a big wedding. With family scattered over 1000km, Covid restrictions provided a good excuse. We got married with just the celebrant and 2 witnesses.
My mother correctly understood the scale of the wedding when preparing the wedding cake, and made us a 2-tiered wedding muffin.
OkCupid back when it was good. I’d been on dating apps for years at that point, I was her second match. It’s been 6yrs across two countries
Same OKcupid, we both liked writing and she said she was a Supernatural fan. I was her 3rd match and we been together 13 years.
I met my wife on IRC. She was attracted to the fact that I could spell. That was 25 years ago.
The standards were different back then
My ex-wife said she knew she could trust me because I used :) after a message.
:)
Wow, you do seem trustworthy! Same late 90s/early 2000s timeframe?
Spelling was one of the few bits of information you could get about a person without them directly telling you, so it’s interesting that even a “face” is enough in those circumstances.
Late 2000s. You can tell a lot by the way someone types. Though we also divorced, so your mileage may vary.
If you mean that most people write even worse now than 25 years ago then yes 😄
I’d say the opposite, at least online. More people can type now than there were 25 years ago, and autocorrect on phones is mostly good nowadays.
25 years ago the people that were online were sitting behind a PC, not swiping on their phone and hoping the autocorrect got it right. So every typing mistake was an actual typing mistake on a real keyboard by an actual person. The use of language online has definitely gone downhill when phones entered the picture.
I get what you’re saying now. I only meant that spelling and grammar have improved. As far as the quality of the writing itself, yeah, you may be right.
Idk. Sure compared to 25 years ago, it’s better, but autocorrect on phones is much worse than 10 years ago.
She moved in next door. We were both recently divorced. Been 6 years since and I do not know what I’d do without her.
I met my partner in a queer bar for a kink event. We made eye contact a few times and when I approached them, we started complaining about our chronic pain and fucked up bodies.
we started complaining about our chronic pain and fucked up bodies
100% couple stuff.
I was running a production line. There were different start times for the different parts of the line. The person who was supposed to be catching parts wasn’t at his post, and I’d knew him well enough to know he would be hassling some poor random woman who was just trying to do her job. So I went to the department where you would normally find such people, and there he was talking to some cute blonde woman with expressive eyebrows, adorable nose, and striking green and blue eyes. I told him to get lost. I apologized to the woman for him, and she turned out to be very talkative and friendly toward me. I went back to my area and spent all day trying to forget about her. I went back at the end of the day and asked for her email address.
We have been together for 18 years, married for 16. We have a kid and a small farm. She is the most amazing and caring person I’ve ever personally known and she is married to me.
I asked her once what got her attention that first time I met her. She said that I was the first person who ever stood up for her, the first person who ever stood between her and someone else and said “stop”.
Tinder back before it was shit. Really funny though, she was my number neighbor! Like when you have a phone number digit that is one sequence before the other.
I think that means that we had gotten our phone numbers in the same store or at least at the same time years before. It’s our favorite joke
Met my husband at a church we used to go to (I’ve since denounced religion). He asked if I wanted to see A Quiet Place. Agreed. Ended up being a double date with another couple who didn’t want to see A Quiet Place so we saw Rampage instead. Absolutely fucking horrible movie. But he and I never stopped texting after that and did a subsequent date a couple weeks later. 5th wedding anniversary is Sunday 🙂
Okay well that’s great and all but did you ever get to see A Quiet Place?
My friend who was getting married did a friends thanksgiving every year back then. His partner had a friend from school she was dedicated to finding someone for her. We met at the party and me being super shy and awkward back then made things very strange. She was interested though for some reason and we had our first date a week later and have been married for 13 years now.
At that time i was kind of old and very shy since my entire teens and early 20s i was rejected by everyone. You have no idea how much of an impact that has on yourself, but i was definitely depressed for a while until someone finally gave me a chance to breakout.
Dog 1 - followed me home while walking late at night with who I thought would be my forever person
Dog 2 - gifted by who I thought would be my forever person after talking about starting a family
Dog 3 - daughter to Dog 2…little rascal started his own family
