I used to harvest shellfish for a job, and we used pressurized water to help dig down. There’s a whole lot of dead beach and low tide thst I blasted myself with, but there’d be some big ol honking horseclams 3 feet under the sand that closed off and died down there a long time before my hose found the cavity of its putrefied liquified remains.

Having that propelled in a blast along with sand and seaweed was s fun time.

I worked at an abbatoire for a while. Dodged the worst stuff no problem … except for one time with green puss from an abscess in a cow. It must have been under a lot of pressure.

I cut the abscess out and showed it to a woman I didn’t like in quality control. She threw up. It was my fault, so I had to clean that up, and I didn’t get to go home early to clean myself.

It was not a great job.

Human piss grossest.

Worst thing was gasoline covered head to toe when a hose sprung a leak when I was working as a full service gas station attendant. I’m glad it wasnt propane though

I’ve been skunked before.

Which smelled bad (understatement), but didnt feel gross. Meanwhile, the solution being to wash yourself with tomato sauce felt hella icky.

Not “sprayed” per se but it seems squirrel monkeys pee on their hands and touch stuff to mark it. One of these guys was sitting at the back of my neck when they decided it’s time to clarify who owns what. So he started to pee on his hands while still sitting there and most of it ran down my spine. The he proceeded to touch my hair and clothes.

The smell was tolerable but being covered in monkey pee still was something I hadn’t on my radar…

I have 2 kids so, vomit, poop, blood, mucus, and even breast milk.

Technically it was my car that got sprayed, but I specifically drove around a skunk to not hit the thing, and it showed it’s appreciation by spraying my car.

Doing electrical work in a chicken rendering plant. I was sprayed with the liquefied remains of chickens that were at least a week old coming out of a tanker truck into a pit that was outside with a sea of flys covering it like a tarp. To make it worse, I looked over at a guy 10ft away eating a bowl of fruit loops like it was a normal day, that experience changed my life because I never want that to me my normal.

Worked at a restaurant hood cleaning company once. Sometimes the techs had to bring back buckets of grease they removed from a place because there’s a lot of rules around where you can dispose of it.

Walked into the shop at the wrong time and got hit in the chest with a spray of rancid, black grease. Had to throw those clothes away because I couldn’t get it out.

Healthcare…you get numb to a lot. But honestly I can’t stand phlegm.

My baby sons ass while changing a diaper…

Next to the train station I commuted to in my first job, there was an area for trucks carrying livestock to empty their waste. One particular truck was not carrying actual living livestock but dead calves (the unwanted male ones) when it pulled up near me as I was waiting for the train. Unfortunately the driver pulled the wrong lever and dumped the contents of the truck on the ground. I got sprayed with the worst thing you can possibly imagine. The smell alone…

And people wonder why I’m a vegetarian (it wasn’t the inciting incident but it helped my conviction)

Had a manure tank truck pop a seal in front of me spraying pressurized pig shit all over my car.

I had my windows down 😐

The word salad of Donald J Trump

My cat had sneezed diectly onto my face.