Preface, nothing against those that do.
Its increasingly difficult to ever do fun things with my current friends. Now that I’m to the point where I have the space and the money and time to do pretty much anything I want, no one else has any time to hang out. I get ignored a lot, which I get, they care about their family more. But I’m the type of person who likes to host stuff and do things.
Not a huge deal to me, I’m fine being alone, but its like, man, its really fun hanging out and playing some IRL video games or just cruising or walking around outdoors etc. I guess nobody really has time as they get old though. Or maybe I need to find a younger crowd 😆 I have no idea.
buy an island and you’ll find lots of people without kids that like them.
🧐
Gay bars would probably be a statistically better place
stay the absolute fuck out of gay bars if you are straight and cis tho
I’m still mad the only gay dance club in my city got run over by the straights. Absolutely ruined.
Oh jeez, so much this. They come in, treat the place like a zoo, spoil the vibe, and behave like they’re in charge.
It’s like that allegory about the Nazi bar, LGBT spaces need constant vigilance against this sort of shit.
I had my prior life completely destroyed, and spent about 5 years getting my health together, and last August began integrating myself back into society. Starting with zero social network, in just a few months of dance classes and social dancing, I have more friends and things to do than I’ve ever had in my life. I do swing/Lindy Hop, which is popular in my area, and also some ballroom dancing, but a lot of people do Salsa/Bachata. I cannot overstate how awesome this has been for meeting people. As a single man, it’s especially powerful, as you have an easy introduction (“would you like to dance?”), you’re immediately in their intimate space, and if you’re any good at all you’re delivering a fun, custom choreographed experience that lights their face and makes them smile from ear to ear. At 60 years old, my social life has never been better, and I’m having fun with attractive women of all age ranges.
How do you learn to social dance?
You need a 3rd space. Join a sport/hobby/club.
The real problem is meeting people while being selective. Hosting events and posting online is an option but you literally can’t be selective and you’ll have to be okay with nobody showing up sometimes. Attending other peoples events might suit you though!
You could make friends through a multiplayer games dischord.
Going to the same place regularly is a good one. Cafes, Book stores, etc can be 3rd spaces, especially if they host community events. Bars as well but that isn’t gonna contribute to a healthy lifestyle.
Younger crowd works for a bit in your early 30s but every year past 35 it feels less and less natural. It’s not just generational, like they’re in a completely different phase of life. At a certain point you’re just not growing up tbbh.
RE people with kids, you gotta just accept that they’ll participate when they can.
Do you have many friends that are parents? If you like to host stuff, maybe hosting BBQ or potluck type gatherings that are more family friendly so your current friends are more able to participate?
Otherwise, the third space suggestions are going to be your best bet. Get involved in your hobbies with others, pick up a sport, etc.
I’m an uncle. I bring a popup canopy, extra chairs, and stuff that helps my siblings / other parents at gatherings.
At the last family funeral I brought a bunch of kids fabric colouring bags with markers. Kept all the little ones occupied during the ceremony.
I just got informed that my toddler nephew asks for me and tries to do somersaults like I ‘taught’ him once.
Kids can never have too many good role models. Takes a village to raise a child.
Yes!! My kid has many “uncles” and “aunties” in his life and it’s the best. Thanks for being that kind of uncle :)
(fyi I am not sponsored, I’ve just used these and liked them)
I’m in a similar boat, but I’ve had good luck with just finding clubs and going through meetup. Even if you only go once or twice it’s still something new to do.
Volunteering is always a good option too, gets you out and meeting people and you get to help your community. The parks and food banks especially always need volunteers.
And the last one I’ll recommend is an app called Timeleft. It’s paid ($20 a month) but you get to basically pick from the events they have and either go for dinner or coffee and meet with 6 random others on the app. I like it because there no pressure, it’s not a dating app or anything, and you get to just hang with some open minded people for a few hours and chat. Everyone is identified so there’s safety with it, and after each event you get to give out (and receive) little impressions like “Who felt the most welcoming”, “who was good at leading conversation”, “who was a good listener” etc.
Either way, it can feel challenging sometimes, but the options are out there. And as always, don’t be afraid to host something and just throw the invites out, worst case people are too busy but most of the time people want to hang out, they just don’t want to plan it.
Club.
Joined a choir and a wind band last year, now I’m on first name basis with the mayor. I didn’t realise that especially the wind band was full of well-connected people.
TTRPGs
Step 1: move to a big city with high rental cost in which having kids is not feasable for young families. Step 2: start a social hobby there Step 3: life the hedonistic lifestyle!
Perfect !
Many queer people, including couples. Some do of course, but the majority do not.
Join a club, try to find others that are like-minded. I’ve got friends who are recent parents and it made me have a look at my social circle and figured it was time to expand my social circle.
Lots of people are feeling lonely simply because they don’t know where to meet any new people. I’d say see if your place of residence has some sort of meeting center where you could organise something. If only one person shows up it might be a success already.
A/S/L?
jk, I’m old
@Beacon @bridgeenjoyer the problem is the answer is 16/f/Cali
Always
Oh, man, that takes me back to AOL chatrooms. Blast from the past!
What is fedia.io?
It seems the only way to meet folks I like is on IRC or lately matrix ! Problem is they aren’t IRL friends.
Is there a reason you can’t put yourself out there to find IRL friends outside of the internet?
No, I can, I just dont live in an area with people of similar interests.
How can you be so sure? What specific interests are you trying to find common ground on? Your post only specifies finding people who aren’t parents.
Its more so that my friends are/were cool, but now they dont do anything other than kid stuff because they have no time. and ive known them for years. Its hard to find new nice people I can trust that are into music or gaming or cars etc. Or people already have their own friend group etc and I dont want to just butt in.
If anyone is going to hang with younger crowds, try to make a rule for yourself. I’m in the mid-30s and I would not be comfortable anymore trying to hang with early 20-year olds. So, more of my flow is the later-20 year olds like the 26, 27, 28 and the like.
Agree. Different journey for everyone but most people I grew up with (including me) didn’t get over the heavy drinking phase and shake off the high school drama until their mid-20s.
just cruising or walking around outdoors etc
Hiking clubs, cycling groups, and other hobby clubs. Even potluck dinners. Yeah, some older people will try to find ways to get free time and touch base.
Dead ass though, if you like nerdy stuff, go to conventions.
