Blobby and Friends
For anyone confused and making “parenting is hard and parents do their best” apologetics in the comments, this comic portrays long term, systematic child abuse and survivors recognize it immediately. If a parent’s “best” involves abuse of any kind, it simply isn’t good enough, and no victim owes their abuser a single thing.
For any fellow survivors, I see you and it’s not your fault. They made choices when they raised you in a climate of terror, abuse, blame, and cruelty, you had no choice. Leave them to the natural consequences of their choices, your one wild life if your own, don’t let them take any more of it than they already have.
My parents gave as much as they could. I never thought it was enough when I was a kid. Now that I’m in my forties, I know just how much that was.
I come from work tired as fuck and I know my old man was the same way, but he still found time to take me to the playground and then taught me math and English every night. My mom did the exact same but there was always a lunch and a dinner cooked for my ungrateful ass.
Through it all, they always loved me and said they were proud of me.
Its good to know that there are still some doing it right (my sister and bil are the same. I’m a cool aunt, thank you very much)
Well I hate you with a bitter jealousy and so very many of the empty places in my heart. Whoever you are.
“From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee…”
The entire rest of that section goes so much harder and is so much gayer.
Okay so my search wasn’t working, but here’s the full portion:
I turn my body from the sun. What ho, Tashtego! Let me hear thy hammer. Oh! ye three unsurrendered spires of mine; thou uncracked keel; and only god-bullied hull; thou firm deck, and Pole-pointed prow,—death-glorious ship! must he then perish, and without me? Am I cut off from the last fond pride of meanest shipwrecked captains? Oh, lonely death on lonely life! Oh, now I feel my topmost greatness lies in my topmost grief. Ho, ho! from all your furthest bounds, pour ye now in, ye bold billows of my whole foregone life, and top this one piled comber of my death! Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hellcs heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! And since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!
There’s a lot of archaic language and nautical terminology there, but its much more about grief and abandon and madness, it shows a weakness, a frenzied hopeless death drive as much or more than the determination and strength implied by the shorter quote the space-nazi shouts.
genesis intensifies
“Children in Africa are dying, doesn’t this make you more grateful?” -No…
Just angry at the world
“Children in Africa are dying” is largely the product of the scam charities that would try to profit off endless advertisement reels of impoverishment abroad. Once Americans got so jaded, racist, and broke that sad African children wasn’t a cash cow anymore, we moved on to bombarding you with ads for dick pills, inflatable mattresses, and sports gambling.
“Children are starving in Africa, you should be grateful”
I’m cool with helping feed them. You wanna run this bowl of Mac and Cheese to Africa, or am I getting my bike?
It’s not like I asked to be born, jeez. That’s like deciding to get a dog and then be surprised that it actually takes work to care of it.
It’s not like I asked to be born, jeez.
Should have cleared out of the line for someone who did.
bring it up with god or the universe, you’ll only get crickets here.
That guy is NOT a teenager
It was in 1950
How did you interview my mother to make this comic?
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
You can’t take a martial arts class, it’s dangerous and too expensive!
You can’t get a drum kit, it’s too loud and too expensive!
You can’t have guitar lessons, it’s too expensive and too loud!
Never leave this neighborhood it’s too dangerous!
15 years later
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
Okay, but totally unironically, though. Full contact sports are terrible for kids.
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
I might suggest that the biggest reason I sit inside all day is that it’s fucking 95° with 60% humidity. But also, screens are hypnotizing, especially for little kids. My son would absolutely lock in on Ms Racheal or Bluey for hours a day if I let him. But he also loves to kick his soccer ball and dunk his basketball in his little stand when the TV isn’t on. And I’m fine with that, because he’s not plowing face first into a kid twice his size. Or trying to back kick one of his friends across the room.
Also, I’ve never needed to buy my son a drum kit because everything is a drum kit to that kid. We can talk about a kit when he gets to middle school and shows he’s got the desire to practice, maintain the equipment, and not break anything when he loses his temper.
While full contact sports (and the associated CTE) are dangerous, there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu. Mainly grappling.
That being said, competitive olympic wresting is pretty toxic regarding weight and diet. Lots of extreme dieting to get in the wanted weight range for tournaments, whivh is terrible for teenagers. Plus, jiu jitsu is the dude-bro sport right now, so might want to avoid that too.
Mainly what I’m getting at is that judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu.
There’s definitely alternatives to full-contact football that are lower-impact, especially wrt to the head. But I’ve got a friend who runs a jiu-jitsu gym and he’s constantly got wraps on something. Fingers are really common. Knees are bad, too. He nearly dislocated his shoulder after a bad throw. One of his friends managed to brain herself in the middle of a throw when she bounced her head off her partner’s hipbone and had to be treated for a concussion.
My sister and I did taekwondo as kids. Other than the occasional sparing (lots of pads, relatively light contact), it was all about flexibility and learning the forms. You still get injured overextending or balancing wrong. But it’s comparatively far better for kids than actual combat sports.
Like, if you’re old enough to make your own decisions, more power to you. But if you’re coming off Ninja Turtles as a 12-year-old, hell no. The combat sports are a recipe for getting wrecked.
judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
Of the three, it’s probably the best. I would still stick my kid in a karate-themed exercise class, if it came to that.
These can also get hella expensive, depending on who you’re training with and where. I can definitely understand a parent not being able to afford private lessons, much less the time to commute with practice. And the kid - not understanding the economic reality - deciding their parent is just being mean, or overprotective, or small-minded.
Oh no! My child might get hurt playing a game! Little Jhonnythan is far too valuable to be put in harms way no matter how much he’ll develop emotionally and intelligently by playing <Insert Sport Here>. I’m an amazing parent!
Football specifically is bad. Especially with helmets.
How is that more specifically bad vs any other sport with contact built into it, like baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, rugby… Even more individual sports have incidents like curling and tennis.
Maybe your soft child might be good at golf? But they could strain leg muscles, pull a hip, should injuries are common among golfers…
My child might get hurt playing a game!
It’s not a game when the goal is to injure the other players. It’s functionally a combat sport.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Your ignorance is showing. I’ve accidentally hurt others, and others have unintentionally hurt me. Shit happens. I’ve torn a muscle in my shoulder from a bad hit in hockey. I’ve also severely sprained my ankle walking to my driveway. If you want to bubble wrap your kids and protect them from all the harm in the world, enjoy raising a completely incompetent leech on society that is dependant on you their whole life.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Boxing. MMA. In both of those,
concussingknocking out your opponent is a winThose aren’t team sports.
American reading comprehension is really at a historic low isn’t it.
At no point in your previous comment did you say the word “team”.
You really put your foot in your mouth with that one.
Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Not sure if genuinely ignorant or just contrarian maxxing
I could ask the same thing.
Which team sport is designed around intentionally injuring the other players?
Boomers and Gen X were heavily conditioned by the wave of crimes and news of serial killers. So it’s understandable why they have been overprotective.
seriously my mom would tell us about all the rapes happening on the daily. wasn’t till I could comprehend basic statistics did I realize how many screws she had loose.
There’s a worrying increase that I’m seeing from the women that I come across that harbor this mentality where they think everybody owes them everything for simply existing. These are the same type of women who think that their parents are selfish and failures for not giving everything their child everything they ask for or that their children owe them everything and should live to serve them because they brought them into the world and raised them or that any man they go out with should worship them and do everything for them while they do nothing in return because they think they’re the grand prize for any man.
I feel like this mentality was a lot more rare and fringe a decade ago. For whatever reason its becoming more and more popular. It’s still a minority, but definitely more prominant.
A lot of women are raised that they are Princesses, and they should insist on being treated as such.
Then they grow up and find out that while you might be the center of your own universe, you aren’t the center of anyone else’s, and nobody wants to indulge or tolerate your Princess Complex.
I do wanna just chime in that this particular comic shows a mom but plenty of dads are like this, too, so I hope you don’t take this comic as some evidence of “women nowadays = bad”.
me_irl
I guess we can make ourselves feel good about just about anything.
Both of my grandfathers were horrible, and then largely absent. When each of them died, I managed a shrug and a mild bit of interest in learning more about them from their obituaries than they has ever shared with me over my entire life. My parents both show signs of generational trauma. They did their best with me, and I give them each passing grades, somewhat elevated by the fact that they got divorced when I don’t remember, rather than sticking it out in a malfunctional marriage and no doubt allowing me to get caught in the crossfire. Even for all of that, I recognize in myself some of the echoes of what was done to them. I’ve done therapy and I’ve resolved to make sure my kid knows that, even if we sometimes argue or have to tell her things she doesn’t want to hear, that no matter what we’ll always love and cherish her.
Try to live your life in such a way that, when you die, the people you leave behind can manage more of an emotional reaction than a shrug and moving on with their day.
That’s pretty much every narcissist’s view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.
Exactly, parents owe the children they bring into this world a safe and happy childhood, the child owes the parent nothing…nothing.
This hits close to home. I don’t talk to my mother anymore.
#RaisedByNarcissistsI have never felt more connected to a comic, ever.
You had a pet blobfish too?
There is no taking. By having a child you automatically give to him a lifetime of support. That’s your role as a parent. Children are not your slaves. If you don’t want to accept that, don’t have children.
When they say “You owe me for ______”, ask them: “How much?”
See if you can get them to put a dollar amount on it.
Not that anything particularly useful will come of such a conversation, but it will be kind of funny. Possibly it might even cause them to think a little bit.
According to my mom I owe her a benz
Here, mom, I got you a Benz!
It’s even the same model year as the year I was born!
Enjoy it, we’re totally even now!
Yes, from personal experience. They can even keep track of it for years.
Her
Who?
Over there, in that Police Box
Them!
It?
Yes
My opinion also, but in a slightly darker radical tone that I never share otherwise: bringing someone into this world of suffering is a misguided act of unconscious selfishness and whoever does so owes all available effort to reduce that suffering. In practice, no one is able to acquit themselves of this debt, which is why I hope I never have kids…
Existing is more pleasurable than not existing, and you can always choose to stop existing if you want. On balance, it is better to be born than not to be.
I have no idea where you get the idea that having kids is selfish. I spend so much of my time, attention, money and love on them. We share their pain, success and all their ups and downs. My wife gave up her career as an architect to spend more time with them.
We take care of them now, and they will take care of us later. That’s not selfish, it’s human. And this might be news for you, but this world was always a rough place to be if you’re not born rich.
And if you’re hinting that your kid’s CO2 footprint and consumption potentially contribute to climate change, you’re also forfeiting their chance to contribute to positive changes.
I think it’s more that the act itself, of having the child, is a choice that is made without the consent of the life being brought into the world. Every child is forced into existence through decisions that are not their own.
Of course, it’s impossible to get consent from the violated party, but it’s still a decision parents take for their own reasons, not the child’s reasons.
You’re the meme. Did they asked to be there? Yes you’re “giving” them a lot of your energy, but they are owed that. That’s not generosity, that’s responsibility.
Having kids is inherently selfish. Prove me wrong! Name a single reason to have them that doesn’t involve you.
By that logic taking care of a pet or senile relatives is also selfish. Or working as a missionary, or emergency worker. It boils down to the question if being selfless is in itself a selfish decision.
Were we just stupid? Naive? Following our biological program? I don’t know. But I know that I love my children above all else and would throw myself under a bus to save them.
I guess it can be hard to imagine loving someone without expecting anything in return, if you haven’t received that kind of love yourself.
The big difference here is that these individual already exist. You’re not creating a life for your own amusement.
Amusement? Give me a effing break! Quick, call up your parents and ask them how amused they were wiping your ass and cleaning after you! How funny it was taking care of you when you were sick and keeping them up at night. And then tell them how selfish it was of them.
Just as well you don’t want kids, seriously.
You’ve yet to name a single non-selfish reason. I can see this makes you emotive. You should reflect on that before you reproduce.
There are indeed misanthropes, but they’re also a very small minority.
The kid didn’t need to exist, you made them do so because you wanted something from them for you or those around you, things like love, something to care about, a helping hand etc. That is selfish by definition.
We take care of them now, and they will take care of us later. That’s not selfish, it’s human.
That is selfish AND human. Although something being human isn’t very relevant, considering things like greed or ill will are also human.
Wanting future generations to fix climate change is also pretty selfish, so it’s a bad example. They’re also likely to be powerless just like us.
Of course, not having kids in order to not make them suffer is also selfish, but It causes the least ammount of pain, well, except for the part where you will have to take care of yourself when older, but thats our problem.
That’s a very nihilistic view that implies existence is not worth anything. Personally, I believe that existing is actually beautiful and worth experiencing, even if it sucks sometimes and has inherit suffering. Otherwise we might as well all lie down, stop eating or drinking, and wait for death. Kids don’t see the world as suffering and pain — they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.
Kids don’t see the world as suffering and pain — they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.
Nah, this is fake news. I hated being a kid and was passively suicidal. Once I was an adult, I got to trans My gender and be happy.
In this context, where we’re talking about having children, would you do it better? You wouldn’t let your kids suffer the same way you did, right? That’s called generational healing.
Yeah, I adopted a couple of younger trans people with bad parents. I’m helping then develop life skills and build resilience and look the way they want to look.
Existence is worth it if you already exist, if you don’t, you won’t miss it.
Kids don’t see the world as suffering and pain — they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.
Well, you know, ideally
I believe you would be able to manage it
I’d like to think so, but idk. I mean I’m not an anti-natalist myself, but I also hated my time as a kid so I get where they’re coming from.
@Zarobi not kids with cancer.
Even people with cancer deserve to exist
@Zarobi sure, because they are already here. If you could prevent that, wouldnt you? Seems cruel to allow that. Similarly if i had a debilitating hereditary condition why the hell would I pass it on?
The thing is, you can’t predetermine if they’ll have cancer or some other rare conditions before existing. There’s very good screening tests nowadays to help prevent that as well. To me, it seems like a strange morality for that to be your reason to avoid having children. It’s anticipatory grief, like not making friends because they might die. By the same logic, what if your child is the one that discovers the cure to cancer? In that case, it’s cruel not to have them, but you can’t know, so it’s a moot point. Unless you do know, in which case send me a DM, I’m in need of a mystic.
Hereditary conditions are a whole different conversation.
@Zarobi the whole “my kid will be the smartestest and cure cancer” argument is why we are in the state we are in. That phrase is also often used by religious nutjobs.
The difference between “I shouldn’t make friends cuz they’ll just die” is easy: we are already here , against our will, so let’s make the best of it.
I counter with: your child could be Hitler 3.0, See how that point is just plain dumb? Every human thinks their special child will be the smartest and best next president.
The more selfish you are, the harder it is to be a good parent.
That being said, not everyone should have children, and: “I was a perfect parent too before I had kids.”
which is why I hope I never have kids
If you truly believe what you say, don’t just hope you don’t have kids. Either get fixed or don’t have sex.
And I already put my money where my mouth is, I got fixed to ensure I will never get pregnant.
You’re totally right. I really should, and I will.
EDIT: I actually started scheduling a vasectomy right now. I had wanted to do one before but things were a little more complicated then and it had slipped my mind in the meantime / did not seem as relevant. Now is a perfect time however.
Thank you for getting me moving again.
Honestly dude, good for you! And I promise I’m not being facetious here. I’m super happy you got motivated to get a vasectomy. I had my fallopian tubes removed a few years ago and it was a massive weight lifted off my shoulders to know I will never again be pregnant.
I’m really fucking proud of you for taking that step!
@NoSpotOfGround yeah simply put youre totally right. Sure, there’s good in this world (if youre rich) but lets face it, life is mostly bad and we would all rather be having an eternal slumber instead. We are just here making the most of it because we have to. Say this in public IRL and youll be utterly crucified though. To me its just logic. If you have a kid either by accident or choice, I dont care. But dont make me feel like its required.
But an overwhelming desire to protect your children avoid suffering will ultimately just lead to them suffering more.
Anyway, the word for that feeling you have is “anti-natalism”–that it is unethical to bring children into the world because non-existence is preferable to likely misery.
Having your own kids is literally the most selfish thing you can do. You want to spread your genes.
Now before you dogpile, understand this doesn’t imply its morally wrong, or bad, or anything of they sort. But it is selfish.
that just sounds like anti-natalism and those people kinda weird me out
I think it’s exactly that, although that’s a name I’ve only learned of recently… Sorry about the weirding out. I can understand how it sounds when it’s not a conclusion you’ve reached on your own already.
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having a child is a selfish action
Are all selfish actions bad?
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Perhaps they do it because they care. How would you know what rationale everyone has?
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They care about an ethereal being that has not yet even started to exist ?
Couldn’t they care about something before it comes into existence?
so surely they must not care about something that doesn’t exist
I don’t understand how you arrive at this outcome that you cannot care about something that doesn’t exist. Lower stakes example: gamers cared about GTA 6 before it came out. People care about future entries into game series that haven’t even been thought up yet.
People care about the concept of things that don’t exist enough to make them want to exist.
did they ask the future kid’s soul if it want to come into existence?
If you believe in souls, and believe they exist before birth, then I’m curious about why you think it would be selfish to bring souls to experience the mortal plane of existence. Would it not be a function of a soul to be brought here?
Cause before they conceive the child, the child doesn’t exist
According to this thought experiment, their soul exists but they don’t? They meaning their physical body? I guess that makes sense.
But still: people can care about things that don’t exist yet.
Just in case it isn’t clear: none of the above is said with any animosity, and I’m not talking down to you.
My wife and I have a family to give you a justification to not have children. So, I’m glad I could make you feel better about your choice. That was pretty selfless of us I think.
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Might not be selfless as such, and I’m not in any position to speak for women in general, but when that biological drive kicks in, it can do so pretty damn hard.
That’s still satisfying your own need, but perhaps more subconsciously so than people having children without thought or care.
Me and my wife agreed on not having children when we were young, but we’ve never regretted the son we got after a pretty radical twist in our mid 20’s. I could go on, but it’s complicated.
In today’s world, if I were young again, I’d never even give it serious thought, though. Different times, although it doesn’t feel that long ago.
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There are plenty of reasons that aren’t selfish. You can do it for humanity, for justice, for style points, for Narnia… If you want to logick those into being selfish, that’s your own moral framework talking. Every action is a subjective choice from a subjective perspective in the end, but people can still have non-selfish intentions, however misguided you may judge them.
Well said.
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I think you’re missing the point. Having a child for Narnia is not selfish, it is literally for the good of Narnia to have another strong Narnian. But you’re operating under a moral framework where even the good of Narnia is ultimately good for the Narnian, therefore it is selfish to want Narnia to be strong.
Do you have to agree with the idea of a strong Narnia? Of course not. But it’s a very narrow way of thinking to explain every human motivation through selfishness.
To give someone a chance to experience the pleasure of living.
To contribute to the world an additional person of quality and integrity.
You probably just haven’t been asking very thoughtful or articulate people.
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@thepig in my experience these folks think everyone is either rich or has zero disabilities of any kind when thats actually about .00000001% of humans. Or theyre really young and have no idea how much life sucks (but make the best of it anyway if youre here)
Yall got some dismal life experiences; what a dour outlook on life.
@BlueOysterCultist I mean, mine wasnt great (childhood abuse) but I make the most of it myself. Theres definitely fun to be had. I just see zero reason to drag an unconsenting person into the world. Like, why? If people were actually not selfish, they’d adopt. I am selfish and I enjoy my alone time, so I will probably end up doing neither.
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@thepig agree. I’d say in general, my life has maybe been 15-20% enjoyment, the rest was either meh or outright sucked. The enjoyment portion gets smaller as one gets older, especially if you aren’t raking in cash by the time youre 40, you won’t have a fun time.
In all honesty, lots of people have children not even because they especially want to, but because they feel obligated to by their role in society. That’s not a reason many people are likely to give, but it’s not a selfish reason.
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Meeting your obligations is the most unselfish thing you can possibly do. Doing things out of obligation to others is the fundamental unit of unselfishness.
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@thepig oh man, sooooo many people fit this mold. “Because I have to. Because its what you do”. No. Its not. You dont have to do ANYTHING.
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@thepig everyone wants people to have kids, no one wants to pay or take the time for them. If you dont have immediate family nearby, have fun with $2k/month daycare bills on $9/hr minimum wage! Its a joke.
No take. Only give.
If you don’t want to accept that, don’t have children
i see you’ve not met people.
