You must log in or # to comment.
You really know how to make that look hard.
My boss always just comments out with a smiley that something is amazing for every BS decision that the company makes
Hows the married life?
Oh you know, living the dream. Each day’s better than the next.
Holy shit that is brilliant!
Its from Something About Mary. Like the first scene between Stiller and the actor who plays the butler with the fucked up hand in one of the original Scary Movies.
Edit: Chris Elliot is the actor who says the line to Stiller.
David Cross, of Mr Show (and a lot of other stuff), talked about how the frontman of Creed was gonna play celebrity poker with him. He’d trashed that guy a lot. Dude shows up: “Thanks for the words.”
Cross: “Yeah, well.”
He said he was particularly glad about that. It rocks.
“I hope your day is as pleasant as you are”
If you get mad, it’s an admission that you’re an asshole.
the interpretation of this one highly depends on the intonation. so writing this in text would be great
After Charlie Kirk, school shooting defender, got shot at a school I trotted out the old line:
“May we all get to live in the world we strive for.”
And, boy, did that make some people upset.
Kinda messed up to mock someone’s death tbh
I didn’t mock someone’s death. I simply said how wonderful it is when people get to live in the world they strive for. Someone who works to make the air cleaner living free from pollution. Someone who campaigns for food security never going hungry. Someone who fights tooth and nail to block any attempt to prevent children having their heads blown apart by a lunatic wielding an automatic rifle in school getting their head blown apart by a lunatic wielding an automatic rifle in a school. Someone who volunteers at a dog rescue for years getting to live on one of those dog rescue ranches. And so on.
Clutch them pearls harder. The reactionaries have been celebrating the death of LGBT+ folks for decades, were cheering at the assassination of Minnesota law makers, and other much more reprehensible things than us saying a bad guy got what he deserved and worked for.
Stop with the notion that a dead person is suddenly sacred, they’re not.
My boss (who is horrible) gave out little encouragement cards to everyone. I’m one of two especially vocal people in my department. We both got cards that say “You never cease to amaze me.” 🤣🤣🤣 I keep it on my desk as a badge of honor.
I was about to fire a guy that saw the writing on the wall and retired early. Everyone loved him, but he was terrible and just getting worse every day.
“You’re unforgettable!”
“You’ve made an indelible mark on us all, and this place!”
“Your replacement will have an incredible job ahead of them!”
I did thank him. A lot. I loved that he left!
Just because you look at the pretty pictures in the yearbook does not mean any of them are your friend.
Back in the early 90’s I managed a Radio Shack and had an employee that could get away with murder talking to customers.
One day he was at the counter showing one of our regular customers programmable police scanners. One thing about this regular customer was he was dumb as a brick. He often brought back items because he flat out could not figure out how to use them. My employee was DETERMINED to sell this guy a programmable scanner, not the easiest bit of kit to use, and not have him return it. On the 4th time trying to show the guy how to program it my employee looked the customer straight in the face and said this gem:
“Don’t worry, you just have to be smarter than the product.”
Fortunately, he was the only customer in the store. I was standing at the other end of the counter working on a display when I heard that. I had to run to the back room before exploding with laughter.
The customer never caught on. He even walked out with one of the most expensive scanners and he never returned it.
that’s 👌🏼
He’s only working with two tools and they are both screwdrivers
You still have an opportunity to impress me.
He didn’t call me back
I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you weren’t.
The original is more subtle: “I hope your day is as pleasant as you are,” since it subtly implies the negative without outright stating it.
To go even more subtle, you can simply say “I hope you have the day you deserve.” The brilliance of this one is, no one thinks they’re the villain, so the person will think you’re wishing them a good day. It depends on what they think of you (or what they think of what you think of them). If you’re generally a well-natured sort who sees the good in people, they will probably take it as a compliment. But if you’re more of a realist and you tend to treat people as they deserve, they might be second-guessing it.
‘I hope that you get all of the good things in life that you deserve’ can certainly go either way.
I once told someone, very publicly, something along the lines of “I hope other people treat you the way you just treated me.” I don’t know if the recipient got it, but the other people who were lined up to interact with her sure did (USPS office).
You are impossible to underestimate
You have much to be humble about.
How come your brother is so smart?
Not that subtle unless the question is more of a statement.
His opinion of himself exceeds his ability.
[He’s] Not even wrong.
