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Introversion feels so mainstream now. Anybody remember the “antisocial social club” sweaters? Or all the pop songs about feeling left out at the club/party (Lorde and Charlie XCX have a few of these I think).
I’m pretty sure the internet has a big part to do with it. The introverts loved the internet. You could lurk, find communities around niche interests, post anonymously, etc. And then the internet blew up, and the internet veterans became the cool ones.
Internet veteran, and not even a properly old one I just remember AOL on CDs: nah we aren’t cool, the net is full of normies now.
I remember explaining to a friend that you don’t have to pay for AOL or Microsoft Online to use the internet. And installing TCPIP into the network, and adding dogpile to a browser for them. Flabbergasted.
Wow that name invokes more than I feel it should, especially since it refers to continued Usenet adoption. Eternal September.
for true. we have become so addicted to external stimulation, that it has become a bad thing to keep to yourself
Imagine a room full of extroverts. This would essentially be a circus without audience.
You think extroverts are incapable of observing and listening?
Not always but mostly yes
The extroverts I met usually get along very well
A lot of people can’t tell the difference between extroverts and covert narcissists
Its just a horde. Somebody gets lynched within like an hour.
Got me considering making that fit the swimming meme image. Y’know the one.
- introverts supported
- extroverts splashing around struggling
- ambiverts drowning
I don’t know if that quite works though. Heh.
“Learn how to shut the fuck up for like 30 seconds.”
Learn japanese.
“start masking yourself because you make other people uncomfortable”
It was fine when extroverts expected introverts to exhaust themselves conforming to a society that values you and not them.
But I’m an extrovert and do this too cause there’s way more introverts than extroverts and they all find me overwhelming and/or annoying
“There’s more introverts than extroverts” hell naw, it’s the opposite. There’s way more extroverts than introverts in the world, unfortunately
Could you be neurodivergent?
We’re on lemmy, what do you think?
we are all neurodivergent on this blessed day
Yep! My extrovert experience has been largely trying to find the balance between overwhelming/annoying/“too much” and shutting up entirely in awkward shame. It involves lots of trying to make sure I’m not overly talking over introverts, pressuring them to speak more than they’re comfortable, not carrying my load of the conversation, or accidentally disappearing from it.
Just because I love socializing and need more of it than others doesn’t mean I’m good at it or that I don’t have a similar history of social rejection, especially growing up, to a lot of folks online.
There’s also a fair bit that’s reminiscent of being the designated tall person. I’m able to ask strangers questions without too much difficulty, something some introverts in my life greatly appreciate.
It’s not a disease or character flaw, for fuck’s sake.
Annoyed introverts are not convinced
The spelling is extraverts. Please
Not really.
We’ve checked six standard dictionaries and all of them list “extrovert” as the principal spelling for someone with an outgoing or gregarious personality, though five include “extravert” as an acceptable variant.
- per Grammarphobia
Extravert, on the other hand, is another way of saying extrovert that was originally used by Carl Jung. […] it appears the most common and proper way to use the term outside of technical journals is with the “o,” though who knows; maybe this will develop into an Oxford comma situation.
- per Writer’s Digest
extravert noun /ˈekstrəvɜːt/ /ˈekstrəvɜːrt/ (also more frequent extrovert)
Thank you for your research. TIL. Language evolves. It’s my understanding that the original spelling came from intro (inside) and extra (outside). But that’s not a rabbit hole I want to dive in now. (I’ll still read introvert with an a in my head. Too old/stubborn to change that ;))
Extraverts are extroverts that are too extra.
I hate that our society endlessly rewards people that are highly social, early birds with money. I didn’t grow up with any of that.
- Just say hello! It really is that easy. Saying hello to someone you just met can make you seem friendly and engaging.
I am friendly and engaging but there’s not a lot of gas in that tank so I typically conserve it for existing friends and family. Strangers get quiet courtesy and won’t be shamed into being different.
Totally extroverted?
Here’s the benefits of having friends with interiority who might be real people!
It’s hard to sell an article on empathic behaviour to people whose personality type is only sustainable due to a empathy deficit. That’s why you’ll never find such an article.
But anyway, the trick to be more extrovert is to pretend other people are NPCs.
If you think extroverts are inherently unempathetic I think you may have issues.
I still didn’t meet an extrovert that didn’t behave like a solipsist.
If you don’t assume other people are exactly like you then interacting with a stranger in a empathic manner will necessarily consume energy. If you come out of it energinised it just means you put almost no effort into empathising with them.
Your empathy apparently doesn’t extend to people who don’t work like you.
If an analogy helps, think of it like eating: it takes energy to eat and digest food, but afterwards you have more energy. That’s what social interaction is like for extroverts.
And you’re the one accusing solipsism?
im usually very extroverted, id love an article like that amy tips?
If you don’t already, actively search for some time to spend by yourself. Don’t text people. Don’t go on social media (even here). Do a quiet activity (read a book, draw, write, etc.) or meditate for an hour. Feel only your thoughts.
Next time you’re with a group that isn’t all extroverts, maybe try a mini version of just existing. Appreciate silence.
All I can really think of — I honestly think both parts of these meme are reductive and inaccurate af.
Literally just shut the fuck up and mind your own business. You are now cured.
As an extroverted person? Play some online games with the mic on and talk to your team. They’ll tell you to shut up constantly, :D
Seriously though, if you get your energy from meeting people like I do. It’s important to be self-reflective more and do hobbies that are calming. I can draw for hours and it’s amazing or even calligraphy! I’ve been doing crochet as well now. I just lose hours and it’s a nice mindfulness exercise.
If you’re concerned about talking too much then I would say just practice listening more. I wouldn’t say I interrupt someone when they’re talking but I do interrupt the flow sometimes because I can carry silence a lot. Which is kinda why people like having me around (convos don’t get boring) … however, I used to definitely go too far with it. So, it’s good to sit back and let conversations and quietness play out and you can see how others would have carried the convo without you. I remember reading about Sir Patrick Stewart about it:
Patrick Stewart has said that playing Jean-Luc Picard changed him as a person. “…I suppose [he] even had some influence on me. I became a better listener than I ever had been as a result of playing Jean-Luc Picard because it was one of the things that he does terrifically well.”
I knew I was killing conversations when I hung out with ANOTHER outgoing person and they kept doing what I was doing to a higher degree and I was like, “it’s kinda nice having someone carry conversations like this … at the same time, it’s kinda draining because I can’t get a word in”.
Mine would be: When spending time with introverts, it’s okay to not say anything and just quietly spend time together doing your own respective things.
And when you notice someone else talking, wait until they stop talking before you start. Like actively count to 3 when they have said their last word. Holes in a conversation aren’t a bad thing, especially if they are as short as this.
This is going to sound weird, but: actually shut your mouth. Physically keep it shut. You’ll end up talking anyway, and that’s okay. When you notice you’re talking more than most again, physically shut your mouth.
It definitely is seen as a problem to be fixed
Because it scares the “others.” They don’t want your thoughts quiet in your head. They want them out loud where they can assess and judge you.
