Sooooo, Atomic Blonde?
Legit one of my favorite action movies. Charlize and Sofia were so fucking good in this movie.
I love that movie so much!
Yes.
The stairwell fight was awesome.
And we already have Tessa Thompson looking great in a tux in The Marvels…
Since I’d be watching for all the scantily clad males she’d be seducing, I wouldn’t want her to be lesbian or there wouldn’t be any of those.
She can swing both ways, like James. Nobody can convince me he hasn’t dabbled even if it’s not in the movies.
And please let her be played by Charlize Theron.
Now, Euronews Culture can officially end all speculation by revealing that the identity of the new James Bond is… Irish actress and singer Jessie Buckley.
You read correctly: James Bond will be played by a woman for the first time, in the wake of Lashana Lynch briefly taking over the 007 mantle in Daniel Craig’s Bond swansong, 2021’s No Time To Die.
Buckley rose to fame following her role as Rose-Lynn Harlan in Tom Harper’s Wild Rose (2018). The 36-year-old followed that critically acclaimed turn with I’m Thinking of Ending Things, The Lost Daughter, Men and The Bride!, before taking home the Oscar for Best Actress this year for her performance in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet.
She therefore becomes the first Oscar-winning performer to be cast as Bond.
More casting news was also revealed, with Tom Hiddleston playing the franchise’s first Bond boy - named Fitty McCrotch – and the new M is set to be portrayed by none other than Gillian Anderson. Both frankly inspired choices.
Thanks for reposting April’s fools
Or a gay James Bond man who sleeps with all the other men.
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No Mr Bond. I expect you to cum!”
Including the villains, with equally cheesy name-based gags.
“I see they don’t call you ‘blo’-feld for nothing ;)”
Or an ace James Bond who isn’t distracted by tits and dicks and just does his fucking job. Still a raging alcoholic because ace tho.
You must be talking about the Sean Connery inspired character in The Venture Bros
I’d be okay with it not being exactly as toxic as James Bond… I think people are forgetting how many times he outright rapes women in those movies. Including one time in GoldFinger where he raped a lesbian who became straight afterwards, because you know… “Lesbians are just women who haven’t been fucked by the right man”.
At first I was like “no” then I got to the second paragraph. I’d watch this for sure.
Screw that, make Modesty Blaise
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Is her own character, so wouldn’t get labeled “the female James Bond.”
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Has a cooler back story than James Bond
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Has a cool cast of supporting characters
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Is canonically awesome at martial arts, but will use guns when pressed
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Already has a bunch of books and comics to use as source material
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Has at least as many sexual adventures as Bond
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Has a long-time male partner with whom she is emphatically not in a romantic relationship or a Will-they-won’t-they situation
Why does she look like Ghislaine Maxwell?
This why not make new franchises instead of gender sealing a character. There are so many stories out there why tell he same ones just gender or race swapped. Tell new ones that feature the gender or race you want.
It makes chuds annoyed. And that’s about as good a reason to do anything! I’m all for race and gender-swapped Bond!
The reason why the industry regurgitates IP is because the general public and the industry are lazy as fuck.
You could make a brand new super hero but it won’t be as popular as retelling the Batman origin story for the 30th time.
Same goes for James Bond. I personally think if they want to continue that universe, and introduce a female spy as lead. Just create a new character, give her the number 005, and make the damn movie. I don’t want a 007 Jane Bond but I’m down with a 005 Jane Smithe. Retrofit some shit about James training her before he died. Put Craig in flashbacks or something, and go from there. Hell, you could even make it Moneypenny. In the universe they had a working relationship, she worked in the field with Bond in the previous movies, and maybe she is promoted to 005 after he died. The first movie could be her transition to spydom, learning the ropes, getting promoted, and stumbling into some super villain storyline - which isn’t fully resolved at the end for the next movie. I’d totally watch Naomie Harris as 005 kicking ass and taking names.
Of course you know that won’t happen. They’ll do the bullshit they did in No Time to Die.
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We could also do all of that in an original IP. Why does it always has to be a reboot or a sequel or a remake or any other regurgitation
Did you read the last line?
There is political strength in doing it like the last line said and using the established franchise.
[off topic?]
Why can’t we have a big budget Modesty Blaise movie?
Think of what Q could do with menstrual products.
Detonate a maxi pad. Floatation tampon. Garrote tampon. Chloroform pads.
Think, what Bond would be capable of in the state of the red rage!
For a second I thought you meant Satr Trek Q, and was very concerned.
I mean, Q could do those things if so inclined.
Flotation tampon? You’re thinking too small. Explosive. Maybe shooty. Definitely some kind of bang. Tampon could be a mini bazooka with all the latest tech in a mini-missile.
It is essential that these be kept separate from regular tampons.
With that said, grappling hook?
It is essential that these be kept separate from regular tampons.
Haha. Nice comment to start my morning with, thanks. :D
Not essential for Bond though.
They have to be able to fool the henchwomen of their enemies, so like the cigarette-gun, it needs to be in a box with regulars so it doesn’t get taken away from Bond by the Villain and they can then use it for something cool, after which they make a bad pun.
“Guess it was your time of the month”
Sad, I was hoping for hot bond-boys.
Genderswap Felix Leiter as well and have her annoy Bond because she can get men even faster than Bond can get women
Yesssssss!
¿Por qué no los dos?
As a somewhat straight white guy, I’d be totally down to watch a female bond end up with a polycule of a golden-retriever himbo and a cute, standoffish at first, scientist/plot relevant expert.
I want to see a female Duke Nukem.
They did that. it was called Bombshell.
Perfect!
… who is all out of bubblegum?
I just want her to give dollar bills to male strippers with tassles on their nipples, saying “You wanna dance?”
Lmao do it!
