What are things that bring you joy?
Speedball lines of opiates and cocaine.
Learning something new and connecting with someone
Building LEGO’s. Mostly plants and animals but I’ve got some space and pop culture stuff as well.
Playing boardgames. Euros, puzzlers, co-op’s, card, and classics.
Books. This year I’ve caught up with harry Dresden and Carl & doughnut. Piranesi was great. A solid recommend. Sanderson’s Tailored Realities was a nice collection of snapshots into different parts of his universe
Dungeon Crawler Carl has to be one of my top two favorite reads in the last year (I’d give it the top spot, but Red Rising was also really good)! It’s a struggle to convey just what makes it so good, but it’s been a fantastic ride. I can’t wait for the next book in May!
I started the first book February 3rd after a podcaster I listen to casually mentioned it and said it was a great read. I’m on the 7th book now 😂
Looking forward to the new book! DCC 😁
Cooking and eating.
Can’t remember.
The things that bring me joy are tech, computers, and games. Computers are amazing, and phones are even more so, and it hurts to watch tech get twisted and used against people.
Yea they used to bring me joy as well.
But I’ve seem to have lost the ability to enjoy anything, so even though I play a bit, I don’t really enjoy it.
My friend you need to see a professional and get that fixed. I’d be miserable without my Lexapro
I have seen them. All of them. Previously yesterday a meeting with a doctor and a nurse and an hour-long meeting with my therapist.
Genuinely it’s that Finns are selfish miserable unemotional treacherous cunts, at least in this part of Finland or towards me.
It’s just a cascade of bullshit that’s rained down on me in the past decade or two.
And the doctors keep changing constantly without even trying to find help for the physical things I’ve complained about since the early nineties. But they also won’t accept they’re in the wrong. So because they haven’t found anything I got sent to psychiatry, which wasn’t needed back then, but is now. Just the fact that my life is running by without any help from anyone no matter how desperately I plead or where I beg help from. Family, friends, social workers, doctors. Hell, I was even tossed out of an ER for telling the on-call psychiatrist I’m afraid I might hurt myself or others.
I’ve tried literally all the drugs. Legal and illegal. I think what would help me the most is moving out of Finland. But can’t afford it.
So weeks roll by like days, months like weeks and years like months. I haven’t done practically anything in several years, except try to figure out what’s wrong with myself and pleading for help.
“Help is always available” is complete bullshit.
I’m just one dude on the internet with little to no context, but it seems to me that you’re in a huge rut and don’t know how to get out of it. Is there anything you could do which would put you out of your “comfort zone”? I’ve discovered that the best things typically happen when I say “yes” to things even if my instinct is to say “no”. I don’t mean dangerous shit, but opportunities which can seem daunting or uncomfortable.
From what I understand, Finland has a pretty good social safety net. Would you be able to pick up and go elsewhere for a bit, even if it’s only a town over? That could be a totally different experience for you. Sounds like it can’t get worse, so why not?
I’ve done a lot outside my comfort zone.
And in it.
I’ve tried pretty much everything and just had really fkin rotten luck.
Tried setting up my own business, only to be foiled by “some bug” in the system of a creditor I took a loan from when I went mad for a week or two in 2016 out of work stress and insomnia.
I just really don’t care about even trying anymore. There’s only so many times you can bang your head against a wall before you get a headache bad enough that you just have to take a break.
From what I understand, Finland has a pretty good social safety net.
Yeah, people like to think so. It’s good… on paper.
But for instance there’s a scheme called “social credit”, which some municipalities / cities use. It means that for relatively small loans, you can get a loan from the city to cover all your high interest payday loans, as not to get caught up in a debt cycle.
I had decent credit, I had paid more than 60e a month of my expensive loan (then one I took in during the mental breakdown and don’t even recall and someone might have just used me and stolen it no idea) and I was applying for a small loan from this social credit. I was basically exactly who it was aimed at. And the loan I needed would’ve cost me 40e/month. Yet I didn’t get it cause the bureaucrat social ladies didn’t like my attitude, essentially. Even after I quoted the law which they use and showed them my bank statements from a few years.
So nah.
No money for moving. If I just get a few k from somewhere then that’s income and can’t get social security nomore, so the extra becomes not extra.
There’s a reason they talk of Finland’s record-high unemployment numbers. We’re living in a fucked up bureaucracy and no-one here cares.
I’ve also switched my services to the next town over. Hasn’t helped.
A lot of this is discrimination just because I’ve been for legalising cannabis for the past 20 or so years and anytime anyone reads it it’s like “oh, heroine shooting junkie scum whom we shouldn’t help, no matter what”. Despite me not being any sort of junkie. But Finland views random cannabis use as shooting up or like smoking crack.
Honestly I’m kinda tired of people even suggesting that I can do something about this. If only I could communicate the amount I’ve done and variety of things I’ve tried. I just need to get the fuck out of here, really, I think.
Finland is not as great as people think it is. The nature is nice, systems good on paper, yet…
Sorry, I don’t mean to assume that it’s all in your power. Shit luck happens, often times to some people more than others. But please have faith that it can and will change. The world is big and random, and luck can change.
Books, cats, coffee and drawing/painting. I could also say “working”, as my job is reading, learning and being amazed (I’m a biologist).
Quiet mornings
During the Covid Quarantine, I took up the guitar again, after having quit playing decades ago. I was terrible back then, but I’ve practiced every day, and become pretty good.
My primary objective was to be able to sit and play my guitar good enough to entertain myself, and I’ve accomplished it. I can fingerpick about 30 songs start to finish, most with my own arrangements, and about 5 originals that I think are pretty good. I’ve also become a credible lead guitarist as well. Lately I’ve been getting into recording.
Nothing is more satisfying than sitting on the front porch at sunset, looking out over the pond across from my house, and fingerpick through some favorite songs, and work on new ones. By playing the guitar instead of eating, I’ve lost 100 pounds, and I’m still going. It’s also been remarkable for my mental health.
I feel this. I started playing the piano again early in the pandemic. I did not appreciate it when I was a kid and my mom made us each practice for an hour a day but I appreciate it now.
Having a creative outlet like a musical instrument has been amazing for maintaining a healthy, less cynical mental outlook. I took a similar break for a real long time and picked it up again a couple years ago and it’s been fun but takes determination to keep it up.
My secret was to play for 20 minutes in the morning when I first got up, 20 at night before going to bed, and 20 minutes somewhere during the day. That gives you 60 minutes a day.
You’re really only focused for about 20 minutes anyway, so after that youre basically wasting your time anyway. Better to get three focused sessions per day, than one long one where you weren’t really concentrating for most of it. And if you miss a short session, you only miss a little, you don’t skip an entire day.
Force yourself to do that for 2-3 weeks, and it will become a positive habit that will feel weird if you skip it. Hopefully, you are so motivated to go on your musical journey that you won’t need to convince yourself too much, but it also helps that your progress will be so fast that it will become self-motivating.
Eventually, I got away from that schedule, because I was playing a lot more than that per day anyway. I’ve became a bit obsessed.
3 x 20 min per day. That’s what I did, and I was shocked at how quickly I progressed.
Music
Well organized workspaces and scrap pieces that fit absolutely perfectly.
I had a nice little walk today
Camping, hiking, a crackling fire, being outdoors. Sunshine, snow, rain, winter. Beaches, mountains, forests. Skipping stones on a lake. Pottery, programming, puzzles. Good coffee, good tea, and hot drinks in general (esp. Feuerzangenbowle!). And probably more?
goth latinas
Oh yes
Not having to go to work, quit work at 40, am now 60.
How did you do it?
