I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something. There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental. It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?
Not in my experience, nope. I’ve seen and made serious comments, I’ve seen and made joke comments, and haven’t had any issue with either. I haven’t witnessed any one upmanship either, and overall I feel like people here are less judgemental than on other sites. Users here seem more likely to recognize that we’re all people behind screens, trying to contribute to a community, rather than targets for misplaced anger. Owning up to mistakes or being wrong seems to be met with understanding, provided that we do so in a civilized way. Overall, this place seems pretty chill compared to anywhere else online.
At least, that’s been my experience.
Yes. Bunch of snarky idiots that don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about because all they know how to do is snark at each other.
No concept of listening. No concept of nuance or context. Just pure sophomoric rage toward anyone or anything that challenges anything you think.
I POST: “Maybe try electing a socialist in NYC and a more centrist candidate in Iowa, where there aren’t as many lefties to support you”
RESPONSES I GET: “You want to see homeless people burn to death in televised bum fights because you hate fucking progress”
It’s exhausting. You people are worse than Republicans because at least they’re propagandized. They’re in a cult. You have the information available to you; you’re just ignorant.
I think people want to share and be heard so they will speak a bit more than you’d want, but I feel on average it’s neutral and we just put a negative spin on some responses because of our own perception.
But then again, there will be people who simply hate you for being you (e.g. tankies on .ml), just like any other social media (e.g. maga on X). The flavor of hate people are allowed to spew is based on moderation, and by that metric, I still prefer moderation on the fediverse over most corporate options.
you can at least block .ml users on sight, or the entire instance.
the issue is way too many of them have alts on other instances and still spout their crazy nonsense where it’s not needed or wanted. and they will brigade other communities when they feel attacked.
just like subreddits used to do to each other.
Might be the community or instance your interacting with. I’ve not really noticed anything like that.
Then again, I just ban anything I’m not interested in seeing.
I can not confirm this. But depending on channel and topic, experiences can be wildly different and sometimes surprising in any direction.
dare to disagree and you see a different side of people than if you just smile and nod at them.
Naa its mostly fun to me! And the people i interact with seem like good people for the most part.
I find myself generally well received in both serious posts and dumb jokes. I rarely actually run into anyone that hard headed.
Agreed. And to dispell the impression of posts having to be PhD dissertations: Pee pee poo poo
I am, however, a judgmental prick, but I keep those opinions to myself. I will silently judge youbased on your posts and comments, and leave it at that.
Pee pee on poo poo
Initially yes, the most active communities are filled with incredibly pedantic and holier-than-thou users that are more than happy to call you a drooling idiot for not agreeing with their logical opinions.
Once you start subscribing to communities you actually enjoy and block comms that allow users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you shitposting@lemmy.world), Lemmy becomes a lot more useful and inclusive. There’s a lot of communities that are more active than it seems. I suggest going to the communities page and subscribing to just those comms that interest you.
Also be the change you want to see! Start posting and commenting without worrying about what the average Lemming thinks of you. We can build the type of communities we want instead of allowing this place to become another 4Chan.
Almost every comment I’ve seen from you is hostile lol
Take a look at my post history, you would be surprised at the positivity I usually comment with - I have no patience for sexist men though.
Yeah you love spewing insults lol
I’m also self aware enough to know i can be a shithead and i’m not out here whining and pretending i’m not part of the problem either
Your name is recognizable and i have seen countless comments from you that rub me the wrong way
If you know you’re part of the problem, why not… stop? You don’t have to be a shithead. It’s actually really easy to treat people with respect.
Because I don’t agree with the OP that it’s an issue. I think that on anon boards you can act however you want. There are better places if you are this sensitive.
Oh I’m not allowed to act however I want but you are?
Why is that?
You can. I would have blocked you if I wasn’t ok with it.
I’m merely pointing out that you have no room to complain about hostility here. Youre a hypocrite
You can act however you want, but if you act like a shithead all the time you’re probably gonna get a lot of shit back. That’s fine if that’s what you want, but in that case you gotta have a thick enough skin for it.
Yeah, which insults do I throw out most? I don’t name call hardly ever unless it’s to point out misogyny and even then it’s to call them a misogynist. I’m serious, feel free to go through my post history. You won’t find what you’re looking for there.
I’m self aware enough to know that I am rude to men who do not respect women. I don’t deny that.
I’ve seen a lot of comments that rub me the wrong way as well.
We get it, you hate men
No, I hate sexist men who can’t respect a women’s only community.
I hate men who rape.
I hate men who insist on their viewpoint being the only correct one and waiving away women’s perspectives and views.
That’s very different from hating all men.
Yes we get it, man bad bear good
Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn’t that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren’t advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don’t work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I just don’t understand misogyny. I absolutely love everything about women.
Damn, I have the perfect gif for this but Lemmy doesn’t support gifs in comments yet?
It doesn’t? Could have sworn I’ve seen them in tenforward
Maaaaybe? If the following gif works, we will know something
Edit: Damn, links the IMG but doesn’t play the gif for me.
It plays if I open it! Hm maybe it’s a difference in instances or apps.
That’s my guess as well.
Voyager app checking in with all systems green: your wish is granted.
I had to open it, then hold tap on the image and click “play animation”, so it’s definitely app dependant
It played the gif for me.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it’s a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
Well said. You’re right - the root of the problem is that the users here are predominately male and that then influences the tone of the space. Without conscious effort it is easy to allow misogyny to flourish.
I’ve found Lemmy the most gender diverse friendly place yet. A lot less 4chany/reddit/spezpedo than anywhere else.
You’re ignoring how many women, femmes, trans, enbies, and POC are on Reddit.
Reddit’s population size is going to naturally make it way more diverse than Lemmy for a long time still.
Not ignoring. They have a larger audience, but I felt the general community was more welcomed, and openly themselves here.
Ah, there were quite a few great subreddits I was involved in that were incredibly diverse and friendly. I miss those spaces, though I’ve found a couple of communities on Lemmy with similar feel.
I’ve found Lemmy quite harsh and exclusionary for women, so maybe my experience has just been different than yours.
Sorry to hear. I hope that changes fast. My experience on Reddit was vastly different.
Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.
The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn’t their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the “good ones” (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can’t justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying “nuh uh” or arguing with us about our own damn experiences
Its fucking asinine.
My favorite is when they acknowledge we live in a patriarchal society, that women are treated worse than men, but we are overreacting or simply imagining men are treating us this way.
Fucking asinine indeed!
Sorry you girls/women have to fight so hard just to have a space. Probably makes it hard to want to try some days and it shouldn’t be that way.
As dkppunk said, it would help if the good men here would push back against their fellow men and some of these attitudes here. Seeing others push to create space for everyone to feel welcome helps a lot!
I haven’t come across much, but I mostly visit stuff where discussions don’t bring in anything mysoginistic. I may not notice everything as immediately since I’m not the one directly affected, but I do try to speak up when I notice because it affects some of my favorite people. I’m glad though, that you and others are speaking up and pushing so more of us take the effort to heart and pay proper attention.
Absolutely! I wish more male users of these comms would call out their fellow men’s misogyny and not rely on others to do it for them. It would make the spaces more welcoming to a lot more people and create a more positive atmosphere.
I also love seeing 2 of my fave lemmings in other spaces 🥰
Been missing see you as often after Blahaj went down last week! Good to see you again today :)
Definitely one of the users that make Lemmy a pleasure to be on!!
users to muse about how 14 year olds have a “consenting nature” (looking at you !shitposting@lemmy.world)
What the actual fuck? Are you finding people like that? Oh wtf man. I haven’t seen that in there yet. I’ve seen some category 5 dumbasses but nothing heinous like that. That’s fuckin gross
Yeah there’s definitely some cp-adjacent porn comms on here too, it’s fucking disgusting.
Yeah I reported several comments, but the post had been up for days at that point and no mods stepped in at all.
Full conversation justifying rock stars raping 14 year olds because it’s more cool than when politicians do it and 14 year olds have a consenting nature.
It was absolutely disgusting. Even the OP of the post called it out.
Nothing. Comments are still up. I blocked the pedo comm at this point.
I’ve noticed that lately shit posting communities have really gone down the drain because there seems to be some sort of cultural notion that you can just post anything and it’s fine because… “It’s a shitpost, it’s not that serious, you just don’t get it”. I remember back in my day shitposting used to mean something 😤
Yeah satire still has taste to it. If you are familiar with super troopers, shitposting is like the officers fucking with people, but what these creeps are doing is like Farva calling people “ChickenFucker” with no humor or nuance etc or anything.
If you aren’t familiar with Super troopers, you need to go watch it meow.
It’s a fine line.
people take gay reddit too serious man
I haven’t been noticing it that much lately, but I’ve felt the same when I first joined. A lot of people just don’t get jokes and they will downvote what they don’t understand.
I downvote jokes that punch down on marginalized groups for sure.
There’s ways to shitpost that don’t exclude everyone that isn’t cis male and white.
Not at all what I was talking about.
Just having a conversation with you!
No, you’re injecting your political agenda of oppressed vs oppressor into someone else’s random comment that has nothing to do with that.
Dude, fuck off.
No. Stop injecting your political agenda of oppression into random people’s comments.
and stop making random alts to continue to do it.
you are precisely the type of user OP is talking about. obsessively self-righteous and incessantly needs to have attention/last word and feel smug and superior to everyone else.
and resorts to insults and harassment when you don’t get the validation you want. you are not a hero, you’re a jerk.
other people should be allowed to exist without you shoving your worldview up their butts every moment of everyday.
and stop making random alts to continue to do it.
you are precisely the type of user OP is talking about
I am the OP of this thread.
So your stance is to defend the oppressors. Bold move Cotton.
I upvote many of your comments, but you are in fact often cranky with people on here. This here is kind of a thin skinned comment you are making. No one has their fingers up your butt.
Are you that paranoid about women having conversations without your permission that you’re inventing alts for me? Jesus dude, touch grass.
Yeah totally out of left field to have a conversation on an internet forum specifically for conversations and social interactions about specific topics.
You’re all over this thread complaining about people being unnecessarily negative and you come into a conversation between myself and another person to scold ME?
You are the problem you are complaining about.
Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to snap. There’s a lot of people spewing hate and then hiding behind the “just a joke” excuse, and I didn’t like what I saw as an implication that I’m one of those.
And looking at the timestamp, it was right between me waking up and before getting my first coffee - my most vulnerable time =D
Oh I totally get it! Yeah I was expanding on your comment, definitely not accusing you of being one of those shitheads who punch down :)
No worries at all
Insular has such a negative connotation. I’d call it “neighborly”: I like seeing the same usernames over again and getting to know their idiosyncrasies.
Hostile, I have to disagree with outright. I only have reddit and oldschool fora to compare it against, but lemmy is much friendlier than both.
Are we given to long comments? Sure. Are those comments worth reading? Usually! And that’s what makes the difference.
Don’t disagree at all, I think a lot of what’s going on is the uptick in the “eternal September phenomenon”. A lot of us have been here for a while even if like myself we’ve switched instances, and those that have stuck around know the way things work and also like it, the new folks come here and think it’s Reddit, and when they get pushback because we’re all clearly here because we on one level or another had problems with Reddit or some other platform, they seem to think we’re the inclusive ones. When really they’re all up in the koolaid and don’t even know the flavor.
Some will stick around and some will bail, and then the cycle repeats, it’s just been happening with greater frequency
Edit: I’ll also freely admit that sometimes it is a bit serious here for my personality which leans flippant, but that’s fine, I still am here for a reason
or it’s just that as things get popular the lowest common denominator content becomes the most prevalent.
because that is how the majority of folks operate.
I’ve noticed that there seems to be an emphasis on being extremely serious at all times, as if every single comment is a PhD dissertation being evaluated or something.
adults like to be taken seriously and have discussions with adults.
There’s like this weird, subtle one upmanship about every little thing and a lot of people are very nitpicky and judgmental.
It kind of takes the fun out of being on here, TBH. Or am I the only one experiencing this?
go post on shitposting or something, IDK. I’m not your dad.
I’ve felt that way since I switched to Lemmy after the Reddit API fiasco. It’s kind of annoying and I’m not the biggest fan of it.
That being said, Lemmy is much better when it comes to engagement. I can post something and actually get comments, likes, and replies. On Reddit, it felt like a drop in the bucket. Half the time, you were too late to the post and it already had so many comments that yours would barely be seen by anyone.
Obviously, that didn’t apply to the smaller subreddits but I like that on Lemmy I don’t need to go to small niche communities just to feel like I’m part of the conversation.
The comments on this post actually made me think “Do I prefer the way Reddit was” and the answer is no. Thinking back, Reddit posts would consist of the same joke, one liner or low effort replies at the top. There was very little originality and tons of shitposting.
At the end of the day, everything has its pros and cons. Just choose the one that works best for you.
What is priceless about Reddit is its reach. In real discussions on niche topics, you get a volume and diversity of viewpoints that are simply not available here.
However, they have the algorithm, so you have to doomscroll through hours of low effort noise to occasionally bump into a good post.
Not overall hostile, but there are hostile people. Make liberal use of filters and block lists, and your timeline will become friendlier.
I mean, Lemmy is obviously a smaller, more tight-knit community than Reddit, but I wouldn’t say that it’s “insular” or rejecting of many viewpoints.
I was perma-banned on Reddit for criticizing Trump and the AI industry, as well as making a jab at the horrible and inhumane Yulin Dog Meat Festival in Guangxi, China (which by the way is a 100% real thing, and just happens to be running right now…). So I feel that Reddit is largely in the pocket of certain groups and are willing to stretch their moderation rules to stifle certain kinds of speech that challenges their shareholders.
On top of all that, I think that the Fediverse in general is a little bit friendlier and much more real than Reddit these days, which I like. Whenever I find myself browsing Reddit (without an account) recently, it’s only a matter of minutes before I come across some post or comment that is obvious bullshit, be it something clearly AI generated or just a good old fashioned lie. Reddit has really become full of nonsense and slop these days, and I think even people who continue to use Reddit are able to see that it isn’t what it used to be.
How is the dog meat festival any worse than factory farming? I’ve never understood this take.
It’s not really any different other than people like dogs as pets so they think pets can’t be food.
It’s ironic that your reply is downvoted when the original comment claims lemmy doesn’t shut out opposing viewpoints. I like lemmy way better that reddit, but there is definitely things I wouldn’t post on here based on the way some others have seen get crusified.
Anyone wants to try commenting
I don’t care for communism
- Factory farming is bad.
- Dogs are intelligent and emotional creatures that shouldn’t be considered food
can confirm cows/chickens/pigs apply as well…
Does two not apply to pigs and cows?
A Hindu person would probably say that they think it’s wrong that Americans kill cows for food, and they are entitled to believe that it’s a practice that should be stopped.
I like dogs and cats, and I don’t think that they should be caged, butchered and sold as meat. I would be against it if it was happening in my city too.
no, it sure does.
the real answer is that usamericans have an emotional relationship with dogs which makes it worse.
I agree with you that it’s nonsensical and borderline racist at best
What’s nonsensical and borderline racist? What are you agreeing with?
it’s nonsensical and borderline racist to claim that eating dogs is inhumane but eating cows and pigs is fine.
i understand you have an emotional attachment to dogs that you don’t have to the others because people don’t keep cows and pigs in their homes. if they did, you would realize that they are intelligent emotional creatures too. that’s the nonsensical part.
the fact that you have no issue with eating cows and pigs but eating dogs is “horrible and inhumane” shows a lack of respect for a culture you don’t understand. you’re a very small step away from calling it “backwards and barbaric” which would be where I would call it blatantly racist.
i understand the emotions involved, I like dogs too. i also like cows and chickens and pigs and I think eating any of them is wrong. that being said I’m only really at a “less meat” diet rn I wouldn’t even call myself a flexitarian 🤷
What’s nonsense is moral cultural relativism. I don’t have to accept the things that other people do just because they claim it’s a part of their culture.
Also, I don’t think that eating dog meat is a large part of Chinese culture, nor do I think it’s a thing that all Chinese people do or approve of.
If this was happening in my country and city I would be just as against it, because I do view dogs as pets and companions moreso than cows and pigs (animals which also deserve to be treated humanely).
admit you use Windows here and see how well that goes over. or that you don’t drive an EV.
there are many topics/viewpoints that are totally verboten by the userbase here.
it’s very firendly if you subscribe to the hivemind viewpoints that are common here, sure. but if you don’t, it’s open season on you to get insulted and harassed and labeled.
despite how utterly absurd judging someone over their choice of computer operating system is.
I see a bit of it. I also see humour and positive responses. I think there’s an OK balance, I tend to just ignore the worst examples and move on.
