• huey_m@piefed.socialEnglish
    0·
    15 days ago

    My bet on why people don’t identify with that anymore is shifting social expectations and economy leading to having kids way later than in their day.

    Which… I love my kids, wouldn’t trade 'em for anything. But they can definitely make you feel old both by just watching them age and the extra responsibility reducing the freedom/spontaneity you might have had more of earlier in your youth. If you had kids in your early 20s, this starts earlier. If you don’t start until your 30s, you’re probably already starting to settle a bit anyway just from being more established in a career and such.

    I’d also be curious to know rates of messing around with harder drugs and drinking and such. My sense is those have gone down, and that kind of thing can be hard on your body.

    Just spit balling here.

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
      0·
      15 days ago

      I like to think I did my 20s right, if that means anything. Partied often, built my career, worked on my established, longstanding friendships. I lived a bit wildly, but I also think that I gradually wound those things down. I have been in my career since I was 20, but in my mid-20s, my friends would show up to my jobs at night, I’d change out of my suit in the bathroom, and we’d all take a train into Manhattan, on a Tuesday or Wednesday. It’s something I couldn’t even consider. Our nights started at 1030, 11. Now, that’s essentially when they end for me.

      I’m now in as late as your 30s get, have kids, and that lifestyle is a very distant past, which I’m happy about. I have friends who still like to live it, and that’s cool. I’ll hang out with them, but I also have no problem tapping out early, and they also don’t care that I do. We’re all past the point of “uno mas,” which is funny because it’s been the name of our group chat for the past 15 years, and it’s okay. I had fun, it’s no longer what I want to do for fun, and that’s cool with me and everyone.

      It’s nice to all grow to a point where peer pressure has seemed to finally met it’s demise, although I do always say peer pressure is a great motivator of youth, and I wouldn’t change my youth for a second, because my present is great.

    • tetris11@feddit.ukEnglish
      0·
      15 days ago

      I remember my 30th birthday well, I suddenly grew a six pack and backflipped onto a motorbike mounted onto a jetski and then moonwalked the 100m race faster than Jamiroquai on stilts

  • Skyline969@piefed.caEnglish
    0·
    16 days ago

    This is how it was for me. No societal expectation to care about things anymore. Don’t wanna go somewhere? Say you don’t feel like it or that you’re tired and boom, done. Nobody looks twice at you, which I suppose could feel devastating for some. For me it felt liberating.

    • [deleted]@piefed.worldEnglish
      0·
      16 days ago

      Yeah, I have enjoyed all the ages so far for different reasons but it has basically been the same for the last couple of decades other than whatever I have going on at the time. Like getting married, having a kid, changes in work and the rest were all big and important life changing things, but it has been a mix of mostly good and a little bad for almost 5 decades and I’m good with that.

  • Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    15 days ago

    My 30s might have been more awesome if I hadn’t reset my life/career every 4-5 years. I’d have been super bored and miserable in a different way if I’d stayed the course, but I’d have more money to waste on synthesizers in my big empty house, I guess.

    • tetris11@feddit.ukEnglish
      0·
      15 days ago

      I like her darker, edgier stuff. That comic she made about the cannibal lepers on the moon of Annares really spoke to my inner child

  • WizardOfFrobozz@lemmy.ca
    0·
    15 days ago

    ITT: a bunch of “miserable” people who are way too comfortable and happy with their lives to fight back against what they claim is making them so (performatively) “miserable”

  • Xerxos@lemmy.ml
    0·
    15 days ago

    Well, that really varies from person to person, doesn’t it?

    My 30s were worse than my 20s.

    Having to work full-time sucks.

    It might be different for people who love their job or for those who are rich enough not to worry about work at all, but for me, the time when I had to work full-time was more or less the end of the ‘good times’.

  • GhostFace@lemmy.today
    0·
    15 days ago

    Midtwenties and it feels over in a lot of ways. The majority of friends I’ve made growing up or in college are gone. People have spread out and started focusing on their own lives. Even people that I only ever knew online have began moving on.

    In a lot of ways this has been fine because I’ve just turned inward and started focusing on myself too, started being selfish about what I want. I miss seeing a lot of my friends in person rather than random texts or seeing their stories on snap.

    It’s very confusing at times because I enjoy being able to do whatever I want when I want without consulting anyone but I also miss having people to do things with.

    • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.mlEnglish
      0·
      15 days ago

      Let people go. You cant hold onto them forever, even in the best of cases. I have people who i consider my best friends that I haven’t seen in years. Maybe never again.

      The river of life has many branches, we just floated down different ones. Dont take it personally.

    • bookie@quokk.auEnglish
      0·
      15 days ago

      It’s hard because there seems to be no place to hang out and meet people either. Not for a date, just to chill and make friends.

      • greedytacothief@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        0·
        15 days ago

        Join a club! Having a group of people you see every week that are happy you’re there is what got me out of my worst depression. I’m in a run club and organize a mountain bike club, but if that’s not your speed there’s lots of others. An improv club/class will probably give you incredible social skills. But there’s roleplay clubs, book clubs, bowling/league night, kickball, knitting, and probably a bunch I can’t think of.

      • SpacetimeMachine@lemmy.world
        0·
        15 days ago

        One of the last true 3rd places I’ve found is dog parks. If you go consistently at the same time each day you’ll be seeing a lot of the same people, who generally are down to chat. You can talk about their dog to break the ice, and I doubt people would even mind if you don’t have a dog.

      • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.caEnglish
        0·
        15 days ago

        seconding what the other person said. just go hang out in public places, preferably ones where you can do something and have a natural reason to approach people.

        it isn’t going to happen immediately. but eventually you will strike up conversations with people, and some of those will be good conversations, and some of those will be with people you like, and some of those will be with people who like you. and then you gotta actually get their contact info or plan to meet up again, maybe doing other things.

  • Couldbealeotard@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    15 days ago

    Anyone who yearns for their life as child has developmental issues. I’m not trying to say that as a sick burn, I think it’s honestly sad and source of suffering for some people.

    • CADmonkey@lemmy.world
      0·
      14 days ago

      One of the moat depressing things I used to hear as a kid was how this was the best part of my life and I should enjoy it.

  • LittleBorat3@lemmy.world
    0·
    15 days ago

    In a way you step out of the Truman show but it’s not necessarily greater than before.

    Im a little confused by that.