You’re allowed anything on the planet
No there is no clever way to use this meal to escape your fate
After seeing all the memes about how many calories are in uranium, that would be fun to try.
Self heating
Just as it comes or would you like a dressing?
Hmm, how about shavings of uranium garnishing a massive chocolate lava cake with whipped cream (the real stuff made from whipping cream, not the stuff from a can or the abomination that is cool whip)
Panda tenderloin and a side of uranium. I’m curious of the flavor of both
Hemlock. BOOM! Cheated the hangman and had the last laugh! Edit: Oops. This was a clever way to escape my fate and is not part of the game. In that case, a Burger King Veal Parmigiana sandwich from the 1980’s.
You will definitely get food poisoning if you eat a 45 year old sandwich.
Heart of Billionaire x (however many billionaires there currently are)
How would you like that prepared?
I’d like it served as is, fresh from the chest cavity.
Any sides?
A second billionaire’s heart
Considering how many drugs some of those billionaires do, I’d suggest skipping on the liver.
Are you joking? They might have quaaludes in there
And you can’t be executed until you’ve finished all your spinach?
How much spinach are you talking here
All of it!
Anything on the planet you say?
Well I wanna eat the entire planet…
Begone, World-Eater! By words with older bones than your own, we break your perch on this age, and send you out!
Not sure if the planet could be considered on itself
Hush, while I eat you too…
No there is no clever way to use this meal to escape your fate
Give me a ricin ball. I’ll still die, but it will be on MY terms.
Fair play, nothing to wash it down with?
Honestly for me, I think I’d want a Berlin gemuse kebab, probably the Mustafa’s one (mit käse of course) given I’ve got a lot of good memories attached to it.
Serve it up with a nice citrusy IPA
Probably finish with a tiramisu made by an Italian nonna
32 ounces of medium rare ribeye steak, bowl of spaghetti with alfredo sauce, 30 chicken wings (10 buffalo, 10 BBQ and 10 garlic butter), 750 of eagle rare 30 bourbon, pint of peanut butter ice cream and a 2 liter of Dr. pepper.
Cheeky 30k bottle of booze in there, are you working on that through the meal or is that the grand finale?
I edited because I realized I had the 17 year before. Did a quick google of the oldest eagle rare because thats what I thought I had. Turns out it was a 17. So the low low price of like 2 grand instead 😉. It’ll be sipped throughout and then demolished when I’m ready.
I’m curious about your preference for spaghetti with alfredo sauce. Why not fettuccine?
Same question. Less curious, more saddened.
If it wanted to be chosen, it would have been easier to spell. But really its just my preference.
Sushi
What’s your selection?
Well, for a last meal, I’m ordering some specialty rolls haha. There’s a local spot near me that has some good specialty options. I’m a big fan of anything with eel, salmon, or octopus (I haven’t had it in years after learning the intelligence they have).
A slice of pizza, a piece of Carnegie Deli cheesecake, and a small saucer of fentanyl.
Any particular pizza?
Is the fent right after the cheesecake or are you giving yourself a bit of digestion time first?
I don’t know, anything good, the food is too hard to pick. I love NY style, I love Chicago style, I love Detroit style, I love Neapolitan. It’s all magical.
I mostly just want the fentanyl to go out in peace/quickly.
…I’m hoping that’s how it works. I don’t actually know, but I figure a full saucer should do the trick, surely.
tbh I think Id be in no mood to actually eat anything, and trying to decide on anything in that circumstance sounds like itd just compound the anxiety , so given that itd be kind of a waste of food and wouldnt be of much comfort, Id probably just turn it down.
Its more for the benefit of your executionists. A fig leaf for their shame.
Well, that’s your prerogative, of course
You’ve got a few hours so knock on the door if you change your mind
100 lbs of saffron
What’s your ideal serving suggestion for that?
I don’t want to eat it, I just want my execution to be hella expensive
Nah you should eat it, it’d turn you neon orange but you’ll smell absolutely incredible.
If you get the chair the scent of your cooking flesh would be boardering on divine, and not to mention being the best smelling corpse the morgue will ever take delivery of. Hell, the section of graveyard you end up in will probably smell like saffron for weeks after thry put you in the ground.
Depending on how much you weight, that much saffron might even preserve you, like some kind of extra bougie mummy.
You convinced me. I’m gonna become 1/3 saffron when I am executed and I will request the chair.
Root beer float, mozzarella sticks, an Arby’s beef n’ cheddar, and a medium pizza from my favorite local place with the little grease-cup pepperonis, mushrooms, and 12 tabs of acid.
Nice, to be clear, is the acid included in the pizza topping list or separate?
As a topping. A little paper eating isn’t gonna matter at that point.
Cooking the lsd will destroy it, eat it seperatly!
TIL!
I would probably want to smoke crack. Not like I can get hooked and ruin my life if I’m on death row already.
Imagine smoking crack and getting a stay of execution after but being a crackhead.
Fair one, make sure to ask for enough that if you do get hooked, you’re covered until it’s your time to shine
