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LinkedIn lunatic material
Well it would have to be real and not a “lawyer meme” as well
I mean, this is the reverse of unknowingly drugging someone, not sure if this is illegal or not, but it feels illegal lol
Later on it says they switched back to the highest caffeine coffee available and everybody was vibrating. To me this should be kind of a big deal, but people seem way more upset about browser cookies and being video’d in public.
true, all they care about is eat hot chip and lie
I didn’t realize we’re only allowed to be mad at one problem. Someone actually doing this would be a problem. At the same time, ALPRs and data harvesting are absolutely also an issue. What the fuck are you talking about?
I am sorry if you are able to focus on a single problem at the time
That’s just simple conservative values. Critical thinking skills are not applicable.
Pretty sure it’s illegal
Decaf still has a fair amount of caffeine. This is clearly fake.
Decaf has very* little caffeine.
I tried coffee once, I do not recommend. I couldn’t sleep for two days and was extremely anxious, could not focus on anything. Strongest chemical I’ve tried, bar the sleeping potion for the wisdom teeth
sorry about your genes
my reaction is due to genetics ?
it might be that one of your drug-metabolizing enzymes doesn’t work properly, tell your doc, there are tests for that
A reaction this strong probably is. But it’s ok, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.
half the world runs on coffee, a 3rd on tea, a quarter on energy drinks, and a probably an 8th on amphetamines
what are you twelve?
I was 23 then
I adore coffee. But how would they know the caffeine levels of the coffee? That’s just not available. It’s either decaf or not.
Light roast tends to be more caffeinated than darker roasts.
Also, different bean times have different amounts of caffeine, but I haven’t tested this personally.
Fake, but I would love to see it happening IRL.
The red flag for me was saying he switched the decaf for the highest caffeine roast available.
Decaf is roasted pretty dark, because the roasty flavors that creates help cover up some of the flavor destruction you get from the decaffeination process.
High caffeine roasts are light ones, though, because the roasting process itself slowly degrades the caffeine.
Thus, he’s saying he replaced a bunch of dark roast decaf coffee with one of the lightest available, and nobody noticed. That’d be like swapping someone’s chocolate milk for strawberry milk and them somehow not noticing. You’d even see the difference the moment you looked at the beans, because almost-black and very light brown are different colors.
Next time someone wants to share this story, say you replaced the decaf with a similar roast of regular. That will at least sound plausible to the coffee people.
It’s the work coffee pot not that weird for the brew to change
While I agree with your facts, I think you overestimate what most people will notice. The hue of the coffee beans would probably slip past most people, even if significant.
Possibly. I will admit that it’s uncaffeinated people we are asking to distinguish between the two, which is worthy of consideration.
Still though, it’s like looking at toast and not noticing how toasted it is. Colors are something that just stand out, a lot, unless you’re pretty distracted. If we were running a single individual through the trial then sure, but multiple people? I don’t like the odds.
People know what the colours mean for chocolate/strawberry milk and toast. Reading you explain that the espresso beans would be noticeably darker, I went “Oh yeah, makes sense”. But I wouldn’t question the colour of coffee beans unprompted, as long as they’re bean-shaped.
Okay that’s fair. Would you notice the flavor difference between strawberry and choc milk though? Because that’s on par with the flavor difference between the two coffees. Dark roasts taste roasty, light roasts taste fruity. My comment on bean color was a minor side note that I ended with, the much bigger difference is in the flavor.
Given then that we have these multiple, fully independent differences that could be noticed (different beans, different flavor, not having caffeine), a bunch of people missing all of them is not likely imo, unless all of them are particularly oblivious. All it takes is one person to notice, after all.
Gotta be honest, I’ve never noticed any particular taste in coffee other than “yep, coffee”. I absolutely believe that there are differences but if I’m not looking for them (especially if I’m drinking it while working), I won’t notice. And even then I wouldn’t assume that it’s decaf.
Yeah, I think that’s most people. Have you tried a light roast coffee though? They’re not common at all, and most people don’t like them in my experience. Those two things are probably related.
If this was remotely true the
Looked ashamed of his natural biology
Would 100% be the psycho misreading this:
if it was true it’s abuse~
Just like corporate governance.
This is awful, but God so hilarious ( besides the weird psychopathy ) but as a senior prank or something it would go hard
The weird control kink aside, this does sound like a pretty funny office prank provided there’s no really important work going on
I remember this “prank” scribed on some BBS or web page from the early 2000’s, possibly even the 90’s.
Everything old is new again!
read so many variants as well.
still a shitty thing to do to people
Making things up and sharing them on the internet?
Next up: toilet paper allowance based on committed lines of code
Are we sure that this wasn’t written by Dwight K Schrute?
Dwight would have been drinking beet juice, not Red Bull
Fair point. Wait. That is exactly something Dwight would say. Nice try.
While whispering to himself “a warrior’s energy drink”
From the moment I understood the weakness of my biology, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of the boot. I aspired to the purity of Corporate Governance. Your kind cling to your caffeine, as though it will not crash and fail you. One day the crude occupation you call a “job” will be laid off, and you will beg the Government to save you. But I am already saved, for profits are immortal… Even in death I serve the Shareholders.
Fuck caffeine, it’s MATH TIME
I hate how much sense this makes. Well, I guess the original is meant to be satire in real life so whatever
Adeptus Mechanicus from Warhammer 40000
“From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass that you call a temple will wither, and you’ll beg my kind to save you.But I am already saved. For the machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.”
What’s crazy is that last line sounds like mere romantic sentiment until you read up on 40k lore.
What like this quote is narrated over a lovense commercial?
No, romantic in the “I love god” and embracing the majesty of a wonderful universe sense. In 40k lore, it actually means stuff like this.
Although if automated sex toys were a thing in 40k cannon, they would almost certainly be the domain of The Adeptus Mechanicus.
Given that the Omnissiah is the only God I actually involve irl at times, I have to say it is a little bit of a romantic sentiment.
Knowledge is life.
He’s going to feel so silly once he learns the concept of rust.
