Through their actions.

Empathy

Their levels of empathy, their relationship with their own ego, and, similarly, their levels of selfishness / egotistic/ egocentric. That’s the core that drives, they’ll make decisions on who to betray from that core, with no care for others, they become quite dangerous to be around. That said something people are good at pretending they have empathy and aren’t egocentric, but if you wait and watch, pretend always has cracks to see through. And i don’t mean small moments of overwhelm. I mean, polar opposite behaviours that seem outside their morals, when not in an extreme emotion. You will usually see little things around the edges, and your instinct is to excuse it away, because it doesn’t fit the narrative, don’t do that bit. Little things around the edges might look like casually stealing, possibly just small things, sometimes even from friends, jealousy or a hatred for someone for no apparent reason other than they’re good at something the person in question is, too. Wanting a lot of attention, without giving anyone else room in the spotlight, or giving less and less room for others in the spotlight, until it’s all about them. Passing blame, it’s always someone elses fault, or excuses for everything they do that they feel are a reason to be able to do the poor behaviour, rather than taking responsibility, learning and growing. Unable to metabolise failure, at all. If you look up fixed and growth mindset, (Carol Dweck) narcissistic types, always have a fixed mindset. Where they’re Unable to utilise mistakes or failures to learn and grow, and believe that you are inherently born good at things or not, rather than practice at anything making you able to be an expert at something.

I cannot remember the reference right now, but it’s said that anyone can become “genius” level at something, if they just put 7 years of practice into it. “Bad” people, practice being like everyone else, they are very good at learning what you want to see, and mirroring that, for a time, it’s not something anyone can hold up for very long, but that said, I’ve seen it held up for a year, odd, at times.

If you wait, don’t get enmeshed with someone too quickly, they usually try to move fast to enmesh you, and remember that a lot of what you see in anyone around you, is what your brain imagines is there, you put a “persona” on people, all people. What’s in everyone is a complex mix of a different set of morals, and emotional maturity, privilege and perspective of the world that’s shaped by their unique upbringing, surroundings and environment. Even two siblings can have very different upbringing, surroundings and environment. And everyone has bad and good, in them. What you need to assess is the harm they could or do cause you and what you need to do to keep safe, keeping in mind that psychological, emotional and verbal abuse, are as harmful as physical abuse. And then decide what level of involvement is safe for you.

If they harm other people, intentionally or not, physically, emotionally, etc. And they could stop but choose not to, then often they are a bad person.

Yea there aren’t good or bad people, just good or bad decisions.

By their ability to empathize.

Easy. By what they say and do.

I assume everyone is good by default, and I’ll usually let a tasteless joke slide once, because we all occasionally put our foot in mouth.

If their actions and words don’t mesh with my own moral compass, they aren’t a person I associate with any more than necessary.

This might be a hot take. I have a hard time with people who constantly drives above the speed limit. To me it says a lot about who they are.

E.g.

• they believe that rules don’t apply to them

• that they are egoistic

• that they are reckless and can’t foresee the potential consequences.

• that they lack empathy

How people behave towards animals is a really big one for me. If someone doesn’t like cats or dogs or any sort of critters for any reason other than a traumatic childhood attack memory I assume something is deeply wrong with them. I realize plenty of bad people don’t hate animals, but I assume if you do then you can’t be good.

Louis Rossman had a video years ago that really got me looking at people differently. An obvious sign for him is how they treat animals. animals sadly are often the ultimate litmus test for ones morality. I find that respecting an animal, its boundries and its emotions is a thing only possible when youve developed a (imo) basic sense of empathy, that for pets and animals cant be expressed verbally.

Think of times when a person was trying to force an animals to behave in a particular way purely for self intrest. Or if someone you know outright denies the complex emotions of animals. I am by no means an animal rights activist and i often can be heard yelling at my dog to stop barking or etc. But i think even if we “own” them most good people dont think of pets as propperty, status symbols, or entertainment.

the moment i see behavior like this I try to correct and if they actively fight me on it or make no attempt to improve. I will disconnect from them entirely, not worth it. If thats how you treat family, i dont want to see how you treat friends.

I’ve always struggled with it, so I’ve learned to ask someone better at character judgement than I.

I used to check with my dog. Then I met my wife and found out over a year how moral she was and how consistently she applied those morals. Now I ask her.

are their actions based on how they benefit them?

two things.

1. how they treat other people
2. what they don’t say

first one is pretty easy. don’t treat other people like pieces of shit, or you’re a piece of shit.

second one, when they see something happening that is wrong and do nothing. you’re a piece of shit.

It’s all about empathy. If they lack empathy or kindness then fuck them. I don’t want them in my life and I prefer not to interact with them.

Heh. I assume everyone is a bad person unless they immensely prove that they aren’t. they can’t do lots of drugs, lead chaotic lives, be anti-intellectual, be a gossip, be greedy, a control freak, have an immoral job, use religion as a cudgel, have no integrity, be overly optimistic, have lots of kids, etc. etc.