literally yesterday a book changed my mind about how much alcohol I’m comfortable consuming
since I’ve started getting horrible hangovers in my 30s I’ve limited myself to 1-2 drinks in one evening, once a month or so, and that worked for me
the book detailed how alcohol absolutely wrecks your sleep. yeah i think I’m done drinking for the rest of my life now lol
When I first learned that people were transitioning their gender, I was very much “live and let live,” but took exception at having to call people their preferred pronoun. It seemed like a rigged game to me, like they wanted you to guess at what their gender is, and if you got it wrong, you’re a bigot.
Then my wife was like “what harm does it do to call them what they prefer?”
And I thought about all the hurtful names people teased me with at school, and how I wished they would’ve just called me by my name.
So I said “OK,” and that was that. It hasn’t been as hard as I thought to recognize what people wish to be called. Unless you’re dealing with a “they/them,” then they gotta tell you. Or if you’re dealing with a butch lesbian that dresses boy-ish. On those occasions, I just try not to use any pronouns or talk to them extensively for fear of messing up.
I’ve felt like this. You already call people the name they asked you to call them, it’s like 3 extra brain cells work to just call them what they ask, way to much effort to mess with them or cause animosity.
While transitioning I’m sure they understand there will be genuine mixups.
My kids started saying “it’s not that deep” and seems to really fit here.
Israel.
I used to support Israel, until I heard about them executing children in Gaza.
US gun control. Then i realised, better than medical cancer which if not dealt with by an external party will continue to kill the host, with the global cancer which is the US, at least in part it takes care of itself. I like to think every gun death in the US is one less bomb dropped on innocents, or one less innocent tortured for no reason other than that society’s sick sadism, in places like Guantanamo
I used to believe I had an ex-girlfriend in Chicago, but once that person came out as nonbinary trans with he/they pronouns I now know that I have an ex-boyfriend/ex-theyfriend in Chicago.
That progress is inevitable.
gestures wildly
The use of language. My mom was a proofreader for a handful of local editorials, so the “correctness” of language was pushed very hard on to me from very little. As a result, I pushed for “correct” language onto others very hard as well. And this isnt about English, but my birth language, which has lots of conjugation rules, gendering details, grammar quirks and special cases; so people do tend to deviate from proper grammar a lot in informal settings (and sometimes in formal as well). I became a “language nazi” of sorts, and noticed quickly how people spoke fearfully in front of me to avoid making mistakes and getting corrected. This was something I (regretfully) took pride of.
Until one day, a friend of mine which specialized in languages said to me: “Language isn’t prescriptive; it’s descriptive”. And it took a while, a plethora of questions, and infinite patience from her, but I eventually came around and understood what she was saying: language is what we use to convey ideas from one to the other. We stick to a given language and grammar (structure) because that’s the common agreement for the language speakers, in the expectations that it makes for easier communication. BUT, if a sentence can transmit correctly a thought, even when not using a word in the dictionary or not applying grammar rules, then it’s fine as long as me (or whomever is the interlocutor) understands what they’re trying to say. Furthermore, even when using proper grammar with “existing words”, communication can be confusing and requires clarification. If you can make up a word in the spot that better conveys what you’re trying to say, then I’m all for it! (And probably will start using it myself). If you learned to speak a certain way and call stuff a different name from what I learned, or if you add extra letters to the word because that’s what you were taught by your family (something very usual) then that’s cool and I’ll respect it.
TLDR: Language has no rules. It is what we make of it.
I know you said English isn’t your native language, but I’m choosing to believe the grammar and punctuation mistakes in your post are just there to troll people who are still “language Nazis”. :-P
However, I was led to believe that some languages are prescriptive. For example, French has Académie Française. I was told (no idea how true it is) that it’s actually “in charge” of the language, so they get to decide what is “right”. The wiki page seems to indicate that they decide what goes in the French dictionary. That being said, I have no idea what authority they actually have outside of that. I doubt they’re issuing fines for using loanwords.
The Académie thinks you should say “joueur-animateur en direct” instead of “streamer” or I guess “stremur” which literally no one does, so if an Académie prescribes a language but no one follows the rules, does it make a language?
I used to think Tankies were misguided but harmless. Now I understand, if they got their way, they’d be dangerous.
I got into a fairly in depth conversation with one of them where they explained that they believed that the suspension of freedom, suppression of speech and expression, and sustained authoritarianism were necessary to achieve the socialist utopia. Except worse, they believe that these bad things should be in place until the entire world was socialist. If even one country wasn’t socialist, that would be the justification for suppression on the rest of the entire world. So essentially they’re defending worldwide authoritarianism and suppression of everyone in perpetuity.
I’d point you to this conversation so you could be your own judge, but true to their suppression methods, they exercised their own authoritarianism, deleted all my posts on the subject leaving only their own, because they said I was speaking against socialism and that can’t be allowed fulfilling the exact authoritarianism and suppression I was citing as a problem with their philosophy.
but you don’t understand, if only we murder and kill everyone until they are socialist then we’d finally never have to murder and kill again! unlike those evil capitalists who just go around murdering babies and grandmas, we are so much better than them! we only murder babies and grandmas who aren’t socialist!
polygamy.
no further comment.
I think this does need some more information. Were you for, or against, what kind of 180 was it?
no. comment.
/s
the sanctity of marriage is broken. increased life expectancy, increased stress, increased cost of living, etc.
if nothing in this world will change it makes more sense for society to change with it.
part of that change may include taking multiple partners. gender ratio isn’t important.
if its difficult for two working adults to afford a home, what about three or four? if they all share living spaces intimately the COL goes down further.
it’s not just about the sexual gratification, it’s about the care and respect for each other.
if I was 30 or 40 years younger I would seriously look into polygamous or polyamorus relationships.
Finding one person I like enough to marry is hard enough 💀
This feels basic now but I used to be very ‘pro tech’ and would have latest-ish phones, getting smart gadgets, etc.
Now I consider those features to be negatives and refuse to buy things with internet, if possible.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot the last few years. I was huge into electronics and gadgets and such 10-15 years ago. Things were fun and exciting. Now there isn’t any real fun or experimentation or uniqueness in electronics. Phones are just a black slab with minor differences in features. Every new gadget has to be set up with your phone and then requires a monthly subscription.
It was always a money making venture, but every new iteration seems to cost more and do less. It’s depressing.
Used to think left/progressive was good guys.
But late 2010s made me realize they are often terrible people with want to hurt other people just as much as the right does. there was a shift in the 2010s and too many people go way too far. I also live in town full of wealthy progressives and it’s rare they aren’t raging hypocrites about their beliefs. most classically where I live ‘black lives matter’ folks are totally against black people near them and report black folks to the police if they ‘loiter’ in the park nearby.
A piefed account hates leftists? Shocker.
from what i’ve seen this is a very american phenomenon. a lot of yanks are concerningly quick to switch off their empathy when someone is “on the other side” and they often use the same kind of tactics they decry as horrific when it is used against them. (ostracism, ableism, what have you.) they often don’t have principles, just allegiances.
i’d say this is slightly more noticeable on the left than the right for the sole reason that the american right keeps its empathy off nearly all the time, while the left has it on by default but turns it off when someone’s vibes don’t match. but the core issue of critically low and conditional empathy is the same there.
and sure, idk how literally everyone around the world behaves, but at least the progressives i met (locally, outside the us) usually aren’t like that.
yeah, Americans are weird and paranoid about everything. we have no chill about anything. probably because our society is built on instilling insecurity into everyone from birth that they are awful and worthless until they are rich or famous.
Liberals aren’t leftists and actual leftists want to dismantle capitalism as a whole. Liberalism still exploits the working class and the global south.
blah blah blah cry me a river. you are one of people I’m talking about. every communist I have met IRL was the most greedy selfish capitalism loving in their actions even as the words that came out of their mouths were all about how evil capitalism was. they were happy to exploit anyone and everything as long as it meant they got a theirs and they got angry about property taxes on the home they inherent. I have never met a legit poor communist in my life, but dozens and dozens that of them like Hasan, rich kids who like cosplaying as working-class but would kill themselves before they ever worked a real job, so they ‘own their own business’ or similar.
my favorite was the anarchist going on about how nobody should own property who became a landlord and started whining about taxes and kept whining about his tenants not paying him enough rent. and how there should be no new housing because he needs his investment to go up in value, etc.
and if you confront them they immediately go into some rant about how they are ‘forced’ to do these things because of the ‘evils of capitalism’. yeah, you and me both buddy. but at least I vote for actual progressive policies, instead of beating my chest about how communism will save the world while I actively use my wealth and political power to actively punish those less wealthy than I am and ranting about how anyone who doesn’t make 500K a year or have millions in the bank doesn’t deserve to live in my city because they are ‘lazy’.
Poor communist here. I’ve been homeless.
I think it’s hilarious that they were agreeing with you then you shit all over them and your own point.
Yeah, like I said in my other reply, I’m heavily disabled and have been homeless twice. I am by no means a person living this pristine life—and I genuinely have seen a glimpse of how exploitative this system is.
You’re also the guy who said “liberals aren’t leftists”. I don’t even agree we should be using the term liberal. On this platform it’s a slur used to condescend without a hint of curiosity. Off this platform, it’s used in various ways to the point it means, in America at least, nothing more specific than “anti-republican”.
To this day I don’t think I’ve heard from a communist or anyone else using the term liberal as a slur where I didn’t get the sense that my actual beliefs couldn’t matter less, but I was despised for whatever shit someone wanted to make up about me. The way you wrote that comment makes me think this time would be no different. So yeah I’m NOT on your side either.
I’m of the mind that if you can use a single word/label to describe your worldview, you don’t know much.
Dude, I just stopped being homeless a few months ago. I am heavily disabled, have been homeless twice, and have seen shit in my life. I don’t even like Hasan Piker and frankly think he’s kinda sketchy.
That aren’t speaking from a place of logic or rationality, so no amount of logic or rationality will convince them.
Not that I spent much time thinking about it in the past but the belief in free will was something I was disillusioned from by hearing Sam Harris talk about it and then reading his book on the subject.
Now I believe there is just consciousness and its content. There is no “you” that’s separate from this process that’s authoring your decisions. Nah, everything follows from past events and the belief that you could have done otherwise is just an illusion. How could you have done otherwise. We already know what you did in this timeline. If we rewind back the universe without changing anything you’d just make the same choice again and again and again.
I’d say it has made me a much more empathic person overall. Hating someone for example is no longer compatible with my world view. Not liking, sure, but treating people as if they chose to be this way and could choose to be different but won’t - that’s bullshit.
Charles Whitman is a good example. Shot a bunch of people from a clock tower, left a suicide note saying he doesn’t know why he does this and tells doctors to study his brain when he’s dead. Well, they did and found a pecan-sized tumor near his amygdala that could very well explain this behaviour. Would you still hold Charles morally responsible after learning this? I wouldn’t. I basically just live as if everyone has a brain tumor.
I’ve been reeling for a month after watching this Dr Sapolsky interview on that precise topic. Halfway through the book that gave way to the interview; I also feel more… humane? when judging people’s actions.
The death penalty - used to be very against it, but after seeing some of the footage from ICE in the US I do believe in some cases, an international court should be allowed to sentence people to death. Only in very well-documented cases of e.g. war crimes, systemic cold-blooded murder, … And never by one individual country’s legal system
That there was an adult in the room on the gop side. I have my issues with a lot of the parties but I’ve become even violent over their bullshit for the last 10 years.
The ones left, the ones that made it out to support trump a week ago. Need to be dealt with.
there’s still one, marco rubio. sure he has his ghoulish project in cuba, but in every other sense he’s the sane one to talk to about foreign policy, and he usually presents a counterbalancing force to trump and co back when the truly idiotic policies come up. idk how much domestic stuff he does though, i would expect the outlook on him to be different from within the us.
that said, he’s not the real architect there. bannon and miller are, and they’re actual full-fledged nazis.
I used to be a conservative Christian. I was vehemently opposed to things like gay marriage and abortion.
Then I actually moved to a larger city and met gay people and, well, that became the crux of my deconstruction. Turns out people are people, no matter where or how they’re born, or what they choose to be or identify as.
My views on abortion have changed, to the point where I very much do not believe in fetal personhood, though I still think late-term abortions should be shied away from if they can be avoided. Regardless, it makes no sense to remove a woman’s right to choose how her body is used. It’s hers. If she doesn’t want to put her body through childbirth, or doesn’t want to take on the immense burden of raising a child, she shouldn’t have to. But, at the same time, dudes should be aware of what they can inflict upon a woman just because ‘it doesn’t feel as good’ with a condom on. Wrap it before you tap it, boys.
or what they choose to be or identify as.
Still can’t help but repeat tired old anti LGBTQ+ rhetoric though. Still framing it as a choice.
Maybe you didn’t even realize you did it, I don’t know.
what they choose to be
Sometimes biological preference is biology and not preference, though. Something to continue ruminating on.
I thought the preceeding words in the sentece made that clear.
Turns out people are people, no matter where or how they’re born, or what they choose to be or identify as.
