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“Hey, don’t you love the nature surrounding us, which you are prohibited from interacting with during the length of your contractual obligations with us?”
Are they not allowed to go outside, or…?
Not really, but it beats the fuck out of the interstate that runs by mine.
“Imagine diving down to the bottom, expelling all the air from your lungs, and just waiting for the river’s sweet embrace to take you. I hear it’s a surprisingly peaceful way to go. I yearn for that with all my being. Monday mornings, eh? Do these windows open?”
Drowning isn’t peaceful. There’s ways of asphyxiation that are surprisingly peaceful, but drowning isn’t one of them, not even when done well.
But also, don’t die to escape from a job. You can escape normally. It’s usually really easy to do: they let you go home, just don’t come back. Go do literally anything else.
I was proposing a hypothetical thing to say to a hypothetical boss who hypothetically inflicted such a commandment.
Don’t worry about me, I’m a self-employed consultant working three days a week and now winding down to my retirement with a bunch of low stress side-hustles. But I appreciate the concern. I hope your weekend is surprisingly full of joy and wonder!
You need help.
We all do
I’m all good. This was just a comment for shits and giggles.
This is being hyperbolic, but at least the lordes and tyrants of the past used to just steal your food or murder you.
These modern replacements like playing with their food.
sounds like a joke or lighthearted attempt at socializing.
“Look at that fucking river out there. Thinks its so cool. Just moving pop cans and fish shit past the window. Stupid fucking river.”
You have to be kind of a fucked up person if you can’t appreciate the river.
Rotting in the mines is probably where you belong if you can’t appreciate the river.
That’s… actually kinda cute? I mean, it has a Michael Scott vibe to it? Like he’s trying really hard to get them to appreciate the river? I believe I might be overusing the questionmark? Oh my god I can’t stop? Send help?
Here have some more in case you run out -???
Thank you?
Just don’t use them all in one place.
Depending on the situation, might be related to rto
Help: ‽
Where?
The river, the one with all the ducks.
What kind of boat do you suppose that is?
Probably the buoyant kind?
Just say “Water wet” every time they ask you to fill the quota
Just spam “from the river to the sea” all day every day.
she doesn’t like being forced to do asinine tasks from a dough brain and at least in the mines your doing something productive and not being a stupid idler like all of society has devolved into lately. a lot of the comment on here suggest that a fair few people either didn’t get that
Use hydrology websites and just comment that “The river is 2 feet tall today.” Et cetera, “the river is flowing fast today. But not as fast as the other day.”
let me out of the office to experience it, then
the beatings will continue until appreciation improves.
I see people badmouthing this but it sounds like a case of 1. It’s easy to forget and stop seeing the beauty that you see every day and 2. A lighthearted corporate goal stated to try to get people to come together and just take a moment to appreciate some of nature’s beauty
Yea, I don’t see the problem with this. I have annual goals at work. If this was an official goal for me, I’d be thrilled. Easy exceeded expectations for that one.
If I’m going to be ground down by the corporate machine for money, I don’t need them taunting me with what I can’t have anymore.
I see what they tried to go for, but enforcing stuff like that is not good. Because forced good feelings always just do the opposite.
Who said this is even tracked, let alone enforced? Drawing the conclusion that it’s enforced seems like a bit of a leap.
That said, if my boss said that to me it would probably sit poorly with me in the moment purely because I just want to focus on my job and GTFO, I don’t particularly want to pine for outside when I’m stuck anyways. It’s corny and not particularly inspiring, but nothing wrong with it on its face. If somebody was clocking such things that’s a huge “find another corporate wage slave camp to sink your labor into” flag.
They said it was a Q2 goal. It will definitely be tracked and not participating will be held against you.
That came off to me as the boss being playful, but its hard to say without knowing more about OP’s situation
I mean, corporate goals aren’t always tracked or enforced. Officially stated corporate goals and values are used to help set priorities and culture, and including a goal of appreciating the environment the office is located in can be referenced in political pushes to further improve the workplace, such as encouraging (paid) early release on especially nice days, or setting up workplace picnics or even a workplace volunteer day. Or it can simply be a half-jokingly stated goal to take a moment to breath and appreciate the world around you that’s entirely untrackable and unenforceable
they hired guards to patrol the office and record comments on the river to ensure each worker met their quota
The river brings life. The river brings prosperity.
