Use AI.
“Don’t care what other people think about you”
Sounds like permission to be an asshole.
I understand what it’s trying to say, but assholes don’t mind borrowing the mantra.
seeking other people’s approval constantly also makes you an asshole
I’m with you on this one, OP. Selfish, litter-dropping, swearing-in-front-of-kids, loud-music-playing motherfuckers don’t care what other people think and they accelerate the erosion of community. Community is how we defend each other from the inevitable shit that is heading our way.
I read a book a while back called “The Courage to be Disliked”. That title could be used for some manosphere nonsense but it was instead an overall positive book about determining your self-worth based on your own honest evaluation of yourself, with the goal of improving things that you otherwise make excuses for. It was helpful to me as someone who’s been a people pleaser with low confidence. Hearing that mantra reminds me of it. I think it’s certainly not universally applicable, but it can be good advice for the right person.
I get what you’re trying to share, which makes a lot of sense, but now reframe it in a different context (just an hypothesis, obviously not an affirmation) : you live surrounded by assholes (say, racists ones), should you mind what they think about you (not being a racist)?
if you care what people think about you, you become a masked compliant normie
(masked as in masking autism/adhd/etc and ICE)
“If you don’t profit from it, someone else will, so you might as well get yours.”
Don’t even get me started on how toxic and self-centered this is…
“If you didn’t hear back about the application, reach out to the company/recruiter/interviewer.” - they’re either not into you or swamped trying to get things lined up to move forward or both. Either way they don’t want to hear from you because you’re not getting it or they are working on it. Just pretend you didn’t get it and move on.
“Personalize your cover letter for each job application.” - no one has read that shit in years–and that was before AI slop started doing them all for people—and good companies don’t ask for them anymore as it’s cruel to waste applicants time on them.
“Ask for what you’re worth in the interview/during a promotion/counteroffer!” - this one comes with an asterix as it’s not always terrible advice, but well-run orgs gave a budget for your role, know what the job generally pays for the skills it requires and can’t go much outside of it at all or they’ll create pay equity issues which is against the law in most states if not federally, depending. I say all that and close by saying most companies aren’t well run, so they’re just trying to save money, but some are actually working withing a good system so don’t take it personally if they don’t or can’t offer you more.
“Blood is thicker than water” meaning family is more important than chosen relationships.
And before any smartypants claims it used to mean something else, there is no evidence of that.
its such dumb phrase too. “blood is thicker than water” well no way, it is?! And why is water representing the chosen relationships here and why is the thickness the implied positive thing here? You know what is thicker than blood? Porridge. No idea what that implies though. If you need someone to explain the meaning of saying to get it, then its not very good saying imo.
Irrespective if the meaning has been reversed over the years.
What most people miss about this saying is… IT GOES BOTH WAYS.
If someone mistreats you and uses their blood relationship to you as an excuse, then that is not a member of your family. Family supports and goes through things together. Friends can become family. At this stage of my life, I have cut off my entire blood relations due to their toxic and stupid behavior. My family is the woman I married, my kids, and a few choice friends.
Anything cited from Reddit shouldn’t be taken with grains of salt, but with bags of salt.
That’s something people say cause they think it makes them sound smart. Like people who say the Hunger Games is just Battle Royale, while ignorant of the long history of stories about death tournaments
“Get a job doing something you live doing.” Only if you want to learn to hate something you loved. Doing anything as work builds resentment, you’re better off finding something you can tolerate. Save the stuff you love for hobbies or as a last resort your own business, not working for anyone else.
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Get a job doing something you like doing.
I liked being in a van all day a lot more than I liked being inside all day.
Even when the weather was terrible, it’s better than rebreathing the same stale air for eight hours.
the secret to “doing what you love” for work is to have a solid passive income stream established beforehand. that is what all those “i weave baskets and my partner rehabilitates dolphins for a living, watch us shop for a 2-3 million $ house”-shows quietly never expand on.
once you make more $ than you really need to spend, you can work as little/many hours at whatever type of job you want.
rich people are rich because somewhere down the line their parents bought/passed down dividend paying stock (or they got lucky themselves/soldout a startup for some etc.). once you bring in 6 figs in passive income you can pretty nuch do whatever the fuck you want as long as you don’t try to keep appearances with the super-rich.
Eh yeah, that scenario is doing wonders with the millions who’re forced into paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyles. /s You might want to tone it down a few notches there.
Rich people are rich because they’re cunning and well-connected, other times, it is just the birthing lottery.
Good things come to those who wait.
You can be anything you want.
The man who stands atop a hill with his mouth open will wait a long time for a roast duck to fly in
“Work hard and you will be rewarded.”
With more work.
My greatest regret in the store I work for, was being reliable.
3 and a half years in, I’m virtually worked to death. And my raise? A petty .25 one.
Yeah, so, anyone who says to me “if you work hard” or “hard work pays off” can royally go fuck themselves dry and hard, unironically.
Someone with your work ethic should be rewarded with increased compensation. Typically, however, that reward is delivered by taking a new job with a higher pay. Help yourself and go find a new job.
You’ve gotten a single 25 cent raise in 3.5 years? Jesus fucking christ. I don’t care if you did the bare minimum not to get fired, you deserve more than that. You are making less today than you did when you got hired factoring in inflation. And gesticulates wildly at everything.
Okay so to clarify, what I should’ve said that this year alone I only got a .25 raise. But that doesn’t mean that year by year, my raise has been higher. When I started my job, I think I was at like $18 something. Then it went $18.48 my second year and now I’m at $18.73. So, you can see, how slow the increments are. I have not even capped the maximum hourly I could make for my position.
It doesn’t erase the feeling either, that I’ve gone above and beyond for my store on multiple occasions. Taking on 10 hour shifts, coming in on days where I normally have had off, taking stupid shit on the chin when I knew I was in the right of a situation, enduring and picking up the slack of underdeveloping co-workers. I’ve done it all and more.
And giving me sugarcoated compliments just will not cut it anymore, rewarding us with fucking snacks in the breakroom for us to stress eat our woes away, won’t cut it anymore.
The only reason I’m not even getting better raises is because of attendance. Gee, how could that be? Maybe because I take up so much PTO/PPTO and sacrifice points, so I can fucking have periods of time to take a step back and give myself time to breathe mentally from so much bullshit.
It’s all a joke, this working hard thing. I can’t believe, I work for a company and in a store where, taking on so much is actually discouraged in a subtle way. Going higher up the management chain, just only earns you more responsibility and barely a bump in pay to accommodate. I’ve seen it all.
“Arbeit macht frei”
For me I think growing up constantly told “you’re so smart, you’ll figure it all out” was more detrimental than helpful. It led me to believe I’d cruise through life pretty easily. I’m happy with where life’s taken me and the point I’m at now but I could’ve gotten there a lot faster if I would’ve applied myself more. Just because a kid is into computers doesn’t mean they’ll be some sort of genius.
I can’t stand this one. Like, yes, I can figure out a lot of things for myself. But if I’m asking someone for help, it’s because my own resourcefulness has reached its limit and in this situation, I need assistance from others. That is, if I could figure out a solution on my own, I would’ve done so. The whole point of bringing up the issue was an attempt to get help for it.
“Slam your weenie in a kitchen drawer for fun.”
Don’t know how many times I’ve heard it through the years. It’s actually not very fun at all, though.
I have to think whoever downvoted this must have tried it out …
“Just rub some dirt in it, you’ll be fine”
Ah yes, introduce who knows what kind of bacteria, possible fecal matter and foreign material into an open wound and be surprised when it gets infected.
I’ll admit, I did this as a kid many times but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea
I’ve never heard that as advice, where is it common?
Those of us in the US call it “healthcare.”
Must be a place with lots of infections happening!
US, specifically in the country. Fall off your bike and scrape your knee, rub some dirt in it and keep going, for example.
While I grew up hearing this advice, I don’t remember anyone taking it literally. Even as a little one I always understood it to mean the same as “walk it off”, also not entirely literal.
What they really meant was the more literal and toxic “don’t just cry like a baby “
Oh no where I grew up it was very literal, my parents said it and even teachers when kids fell on the playground at school.
“She’s your mother! Show some respect” <- friends and family after every toxic, manipulative, narcissistic thing that woman did. The eternal free pass.
Samesies.
She had 4 kids. I was the middle one until the last one came about 15 years later than most of us, with a different dad.
Didn’t care much after that. I moved out at 15 to my dads.
You know how it’s a meme and whatnot that parents always want you into the best schools possible? Well I had basically an above 9 GPA on a 4-10 scale in the best school in the country and my mom pulled me out to put me in some rural cousinfucker school because she wanted to move because she met a wealthy man and they couldn’t wait two fucking years while not living together. Despite the drive being like an hour between them.
Literally had a teacher in that school tell me I could be a surgeon, when I was the first in a decade to extract a perch’s swimbladder without puncturing it.
To this day mom won’t even talk about it. And if she does she basically just avoids taking any responsibility, saying “everyone makes their own choices”. Well bitch, I was underage. You were making them for me.
And she’s supposedly a college level graduate social worker, which just adds to the irony.
“You need to vote to make a difference”
And watch as the electoral college comes in going “FUCK YOUR POPULAR VOTE, BRUH, WE’RE DOING THIS BY POINTS AND WHATEVER SHITTY POLITICIAN HAS THE MOST POINTS, AUTO WINS!”.
“Be yourself” in regards to dating.
I don’t know about most people, but I was an absolute asshat in my twenties.
If I had to rephrase that for myself, it would be to read a bunch of books, work out, and learn to be more socially acceptable so people can tolerate my stupid ass and actually want to date me.
(fyi that was like two decades ago and I’m happily married with two kids. )
I would re-tool it as “be a better version of yourself” instead. So, sounds like you practiced that method than the vague one.
I like that a lot! Thank you!
I still think it’s good advice FOR DATING.
If you’re a pile of shit, then regardless of if you’re dating, married, or single you should be taking active steps to learn and grow into the best version of yourself. “Be yourself” is not an instruction to stagnate.
Specifically for dating, don’t invent a personality or persona. IF the person falls for you, they didn’t fall for you… they fell for a fabrication. For someone who doesn’t exist. That’s a super shitty thing to do to someone else.
“Pretend to be the person someone else wants you to be for the express purpose of getting them emotionally invested in you” might be the most toxic advice there is. It disregards the agency of the other person. It disrespects them entirely. It implies the ends justify the means.
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This is a double edged sword. You shouldn’t put a ton of effort into your dating self if you’re not prepared to keep that up for the rest of your life, otherwise you’re just screwing your spouse. I’m so so glad I put very little effort into masking/ lying about who I am when I dated my spouse. I was just honest. I hate cooking. I’m hard to get ahold of/ don’t answer messages quickly. I don’t want to own a dog. Now that we’re 7 years in, I don’t have to let him down by saying a dog is too much housekeeping for me. I told him that on date 2. He on the other hand definitely presented his best foot, which was disappointing 5 years in when he could no longer keep it up. He’s messy, he apparently really wants a dog, and he also hates cooking, none of which i knew until long after we married.
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“Be yourself. And then make sure “yourself” is someone people want to be around.”
This one is hard because it also depends on what “you” (the person receiving this information) considers is good.
I think about the manosphere and those frail babies are surrounded by ego cucks.
To me it means be genuine vs being fake. Acting like someone you aren’t to get a partner only results in having a partner that you don’t have a real connection with, and who values you for qualities you don’t actually have.
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Absolutely this. I currently know a guy who is a fully grown adult who loves Asmongold and flips out at why he can’t get a girl to look at him.
“Buy experiences, not things”
The rationale isn’t exactly wrong for the comparison, but it smuggles in an underlying assumption that it’s reasonable and normal to be spending all your available money in an effort to be happy. Money is way more useful for reinforcing your continued survival and freedom than for anything else and the idea that it’s good for regulating your emotions beyond that is a deception geared towards keeping consumer spending up.
I was also never sure how to separate “things” from “experiences.” Is a fancy cocktail while I’m on a beach vacation a thing or an experience? If I buy a new table saw for my hobby woodshop is that a thing or a experience?
We don’t normally buy things and then bury them in a hole in the ground. We buy them because we intend to use them, even if that use is just for decoration. Our things enable experiences, and our experiences require things.
The line between thing and experience has always been very blurry to me.
Another example: is a good book a thing or an experience?
