It’s the “Ain’t it Awful” game. Just tell them he has a small dick and they’ll concede. It works twofold: they’ll feel sorry for you, and you won’t have to worry that they’ll try to fuck him.
This is quite a male take. Women don’t really complain about this and it isn’t anywhere near comparable to not helping with housework.
Besides, we need to normalize talking about competent partners. So many women I know are in terrible relationships because they’ve convinced themselves that all men are awful.
Women don’t really complain about this and it isn’t anywhere near comparable to not helping with housework.
shitty partners shitty, etc, but…
Fellas, would you rather have a huge dick and not do housework, or a tiny dick and do housework?
I’ve been saying for years that “men are trash” is just the woke version of “boys will be boys” because it still normalizes shitty behavior amongst men.
This is funny, but if my wife did this, I would be devastated.
We shouldn’t give a damn about penis sizes. Though I get that may be easy to say as someone with a humongous dong /s
As someone who is below average I’ve had to have multiple people tell me that sex with someone not as well endowed isn’t worse, it’s different. You can’t really boil the intricacies of copulation down to “Bigger = Better”.
To quote a poet, “the clitoris doesn’t care how big anyone’s dick is”
Weaponized Competence!
Cute. But there’s such a thing as being too honest. If my friend is struggling with a specific thing I’m excelling at, I don’t bring it up, or I downplay it. They’d never ask me to, but I try to be empathetic…
Er, and if your friend asked you directly how that specific thing was going for you, how would you handle that?
Again, I downplay it. If I get a massive bonus for Christmas and am asked what I got by a friend I’d said “yeah, I got a bit extra this year” or something. Not “I’m fucking rolling in it, bitches!” if I know they’re struggling. Just an example…
LOL that would be hilarious in my friend circle. Thanks for being so sincere but that kind of response would have us rolling. And a couple of Fuck you’s thrown in at the same time.
I think there’s a big difference between that and doing it when it’s about a person. I’d imagine the conversation was something like “My husband can’t cook at all, how’s yours?” and she responded that he’s great while the other women agreed that their husbands were awful. Would you instead make your husband sound worse than he is just to fit in with the group? How would you feel about it if it got back to him that you’d said that? Or, conversely, how would you feel about it if you found out that your SO was bad-mouthing you to their friends behind your back just to fit in?
I know for me, if I found out that my wife was complimenting something I did to her friends, that would make my day; if I found out she was downplaying something I thought I did well, it would make me feel pretty awful.
And in that same vein hearing that there are good partners is important for people with bad ones. Some people think that they can’t get a partner that’s good (often assuming all people of a gender or social role are similar in some vein) and by countering that narrative you can help friends find happiness.
One woman I play d&d with is given a few hours every week or two to go out and play a game with friends while her husband watches the kids. Someone whose husband either doesn’t or can’t competently watch their kids may need to hear that some dads are more than capable of having a few hours alone with an infant and toddler so their wife can maintain a social life outside of just parent friends.
If they spent 5 minutes stating all the issues they’re having and then asked about my relationship - I wouldn’t look at them like an alien and start talking about great my partner is.
I would probably mention something inoffensive that annoyed me or talk about something going to happen (“We’re headed to LA in a few weeks”) just to change the subject. I certainly wouldn’t start stating all the great things about my partner because that’s just social incompetence in that context.
I mean you’re 100% right. Downvoters are just haters. This comic isn’t about the husband making her a social pariah through competence, it’s that she’s bad at socializing and reading the room.
Mostly the women complaining are just looking at having their feelings validated, you don’t need to share your own story to do that. If you’re asked to share a story you pick one that fits the theme. That’s just basic socializing.
I mean it’s also just a comic. Like it’s supposed to be a joke so it’s going to take liberties, but this conversation about it is weird lol.
Also venting is healthy… People forget that your spouse is also your roommate and it’s normal to have things you dislike about your roommate. Why wouldn’t it be normal to have things you don’t like about your spouse?
This is just immediately obvious to 99% of adults in long term relationships. There’s something about critically online 20-somethings that think disliking anything about your spouse makes you an asshole
I’m getting this vibe too.
I’m a guy and this is me with my friends. Every time we hang out they have such boomer attitudes about their wives, one is even convinced that I’m gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way. It’s depressing, but there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates.
I work in IT. Every time more than a handful of IT folks get together the talk always turns towards how shitty their wives are/were before the divorce.
Or the wife is framed as someone who keeps them from buying tech stuff (“I’d like to upgrade my homelab, but the purchasing department keeps turning me down! Har har”).
I’m just sitting here with a lovely wife who trusts me to spend money on what we need to keep the tech stuff working.
I think the main problem with most relationships is the myth that “opposite poles get attracted to each other”. No, the more you have in common with someone else, the more succesful, peaceful and enjoyable the relationship will be. That’s not always the case, for sure, and there’s obviously exceptions to that rule nevertheless, but are in the end just that, exceptions, not the norm, and when you date someone that doesn’t at least share your core interests, views and principles, you could and definitely will get constant arguments and fights because of the constant and often serious and intense clashes of expectations and ways of seeing and living life.
I think the main problem with most relationships is the myth that “opposite poles get attracted to each other”
Imma go beyond this.
The problem with the intergenerational “wisdom” being transferred is that a lot of this shit lost why they were memes worth spreading in the first place. It’s not “opposites attract”, its “marriage and raising a family and creating a good home environment requires a diverse skillset, and being different people allows you to bring that diverse skillset so that you can be self sufficient in your family group and have a degree of personal autonomy due to being able to dedicate yourself to different social groups and activities, while returning to each other and appreciating the time you have together.”
It came out a little through the generational loss.
Same here
After a few beers I usually just try to hold back the question why they’re even together with their wife, if they’re so unhappy with her
I do get, that some people just need to vent, but I don’t have anything bad to say about my wife.
She loves this piece of shit, that I am. In my eyes she is an absolute saintThat’s kind of my take. My wife puts up with me, and even seems to enjoy being around me. That’s pretty unusual and I question her judgement. I’m certainly not complaining.
I remember seeing here on Lemmy a while back that a good boyfriend/girlfriend is a best friend where there is also an erotic angle.
I’d like to propose that it’s not an erotic angle, but a romantic one!
I know for many it’s probably the same thing, but to me there’s a clear difference between a close friend who you also have sex with and a romantic partner
an erotic angle.
Or at least a cute one
ACE
A Cute Engels?
You went too far. You’re in the deep end.
Ventura, Cute Math Detective
Cutely fitting.
I was referencing Ace as in asexual.Being “Ace Venture, Cute math Detective”… Fits
As one of the ancient poets once said
How can we be loves if we can’t be friends?
- Michael Bolton, 1989
I thought he was a no-talent ass-clown!
And more importantly, why should I have to change? he’s the one who sucks
It’s people who rush into relationships because they feel like they need one, instead of taking time to find your actual best friend forever.
My best friend was convinced that my ex wanted to get pregnant even though we’d been together for years and she had zero desire to have children. Nothing I said convinced him. I really don’t get it because it’s just not that uncommon anymore for people to not want kids.
I’ve had the opposite experience. A few year ago a bunch of the guys I hung out with in college got together at a Wurstfest (German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas), and got super drunk. All the married guys were talking about how they just loved their wives so much.
It was super wholesome.
German festival every November in Bew Braunfels, Texas
Oh man, I was expecting a town in Germany and nearly broke my brain trying to pronounce “Bew Braunfels” in German.
Then I read the “Texas”. 😅
It’s actually “New Braunfels”, but as a native Texan, just about everyone I know pronounces it “New Braunsvul”, for some reason.
one is even convinced that I’m gonna get divorced just because he did and views all marriages that way
Classic Divorced Guy
there is one friend in the group who agrees with me that our wives are our best friends and soulmates
Wife and I joke about how we can never get divorced because it would be too awkward when we kept hanging out as friends.
But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.
But we also have a friend couple that did get divorced, and still hang out regularly on very good terms.
Some people are just better as friends than lovers and I think that’s awesome if they can figure that out before doing irreparable damage to said friendship.
Some people are just better as friends than lovers
Mrs. Doubttfure taught me that same lesson!
I know it’s random, but can I just say I’m so happy that movie didn’t end with her falling in love with him again and leaving James Bond? He wasn’t even a bad guy! I’ve always respected that.
I have a pretty significant ex, and it certainly took some introspection and painful internal work, but I eventually was able to hang out with them again and still really value their friendship; I even invited them to my wedding, and attended theirs in kind.
As I saw it, this person was my best friend for the majority of six years together, and I didn’t want to totally discard that part of myself that had that friendship, even if the romantic relationship didn’t ultimately work out.
I’m no longer sure the romance part can even be real.
It’s just friends all the way down.
My parents vacation together 4 to 5 times a year (pensioners), all 4 of them are great friends. It’s so cute but a little bit wild, because during the last years of their marriage they really didn’t get along and I remember that time vividly.
I dated a guy for 13 years, when we finally broke up we were still going to events together!
Give it a few years they’ll get sick of each other.
This is why old married people get nostalgic at weddings, they remember when it was still fun.
Not to say you shouldn’t fall in love, just don’t expect it to last forever.
Do my friend’s grandgrand parents count as “old”? Cuz they are still sometimes lovey dovey in the cheesiest ways I ever saw and didn’t know were possible before
Do you live in an area that socially disapproves of divorce? In my area there are plenty of unhappy young couples who eventually break up, but the old couples all really like each other because if they didn’t, they’d just get divorced.
Love it, change it or leave it, I guess?
I met my wife, umm, gosh, it was actually 30 years ago. Doesn’t feel like it’s been that long! Yeah sure we have our share of bickering but we also have a lot of laughs together and just enjoy being together. We’re best friends, soul buddies.
Wasn’t always like that, though. I was mentally in a bad space for a while, unhappy and unsatisfied. God I have no idea how she put up with me.
Something clicked when I realized all the unhappiness came from inside me, I was making myself miserable, no one else. And instead of misery, I chose love and remind myself
Always be loving and tolerant. But foremost, don’t be full of yourself
I’m in my fifties and have been married for 30 years.
I love my wife. she’s taken such good care of me even though I’m completely undeserving in my opinion.
sounds like you’re just a angry child who never learned to love.
You’re right - you can’t expect it to last forever. You gotta maintain! Keep the fire burning! Keep flirting, keep finding ways to make them happy!
which is one of the reason why arranged marriages could actually work for some, which seems to surprise lot of people. the fresh romance in a relationship will ultimately fade away and then it is really up to both of you if you want to put in the work to maintain the relationship. the people in arranged marriages just had to put it this work from the start.
I don’t necessarily agree with you, but I’m all about upvoting snark.
Lots of people have good marriages where things work out, their relationship needs are met, and life circumstances don’t put them in survival mode.
But 1/3 to 1/2 of marriages in the US (as an example) end in divorce. Doubt any of these couples got married thinking they were going to divorce.
One day things are fine and the next day you find out the love of your life has unapologetically put you in 6 figures of debt and you’re trying to figure out how to hold it all together. Life do be like that.
Skill issue
Haha wife bad. You sure gottem.
how old is “old married couple”.
I’m 40 and I’ve been dating/married to my wife for 14 years. I am still quite happy and in love with her.
Hey, a PizzaCake comic with a punchline! Keep up the good work!
She used to be so funny before she pivoted to “my haters are neckbeard incels” content instead of actual comics.
Edit: looks like she’s been making better comics again for about a month or two https://bsky.app/profile/pizzacakecomic.bsky.social
She was interacting with redditors and twitter people for a bit. convinced the entire internet was those sorts of people.
If i interact with redditor and twitter(twitteror?) i’d think the same too. If i went on Thread i will want to shut down the whole internet.
Wow, you really know how to give compliments.
It was in earnest. I’m one of the haters and this got a chuckle out of me.
Same! I guess we won’t get branded as incel misogynists this time for saying it’s not funny!
Idk why this is being downvoted.
Like her comics or not - that’s on you - the reality is that people that criticize them are called incel misogynists, and god forbid you make state that on any of the comic subs (they’ll nuke your account).
Seriously, this one was actually a comic, and was funny!
And she’s saying something positive about men.
Do you think she’s OK?
She’s not. She’s saying something positive about a man. But more broadly saying men are incompetent & acknowledging the exceptions.
She isn’t saying that at all.
She is saying that those women complain about their spouse all the time. Nothing about those men actual abilities.
You making that connection says more about you than about her comics.
Does it count as a punchline when it’s a fairly played out trope at this point?
Baby steps.
Reads like Pizzacake’s friends need interventions!
Or that Pizzacake is the pariah and she only now learned what they really think of her.
If the latter, I hope pizzacake refers them to a psychiatrist. I hate being the emotional compressor of a group.There we go, I’m just doing my part honey. I couldn’t want you to be a pariah!
If your friends trash-talk their partner behind their back, guess what they say about you behind yours.
Hot take: venting about the person you live with doesn’t mean you’ll be venting about people you hang out with occasionally.
But it would be good to discuss your issues with the person face to face, regardless if it’s a friend, roommate, or spouse.
Hotter take: If they stay with someone they can’t talk to about their problems with, they’re going to have other flaws as well. A healthy functioning adult is not gonna be in that kind of relationship, or stay in it either
I don’t think that’s a hot take, I think that’s a perfectly reasonable take.
I don’t think that’s what the comic in the OP is referencing.
Certainly not what I was referencing.
You said
If your friends trash-talk their partner behind their back, guess what they say about you behind yours.
I responded to argue that this wasn’t the case, and that some people complain about their live in partner but don’t complain about their non live in friends.
I know what I said.
I know what you said.
You aren’t clocking the situation correctly.
Your partner getting on your nerves and you going to a therapist or a trusted friend to vent and/or get critical feedback is one thing.
Getting into a circle of people who are griping about about their parter, especially when they twist your arm to join in the trash-talking, is another thing entirely. But even in a one-on-one situation, someone who trashes their partner (implying habituality), isn’t someone to trust with sensitive information. It’s a particularly cruel kind of gossiping, which you should also avoid. Because guess what happens when you talk to a gossip? They pry information out of you and spread it around.
Also note that I said “trash-talking” where you said “venting.”
Different situations.
You aren’t clocking the situation correctly.
I’m not responding to the situation at large, I’m responding to your comment in isolation.
someone who trashes their partner (implying habituality), isn’t someone to trust with sensitive information
I don’t believe I agree with this, with the qualifier that I also don’t agree with trash talking your partner to begin with. I don’t think you’re right that if someone talks negatively about their partner that they can’t be trusted with information. Maybe it’s a cultural thing.
Also note that I said “trash-talking” where you said “venting.”
I’ll use trash talking from now on if it helps.
Honestly, there are some people who shit-talk their exes so much that I worry a little bit.
A red flag for sure.
“All my exes are crazy!” — sure they are.
i still do wonder how good a pizza cake is
I thought it was a unique way of saying “piece of cake”
Yeah, like when I call my coworker a pizza shit
Stack several of your favourite pizzas on top of each other while they’re still piping hot, so the cheese sticks them together, frost with your preferred sauce, or leave uncoated it preferred, cut in to wedges and tuck in like you’re at a 5 year old’s birthday party.
I reckon it’d be pretty good, but very filling.
Has got to be better than carrot cake.
Tried it a couple of weeks ago.
Forgot to pre-bake the dough, so it had to sit in the oven for like an hour just to be fully cooked.
Was pretty good, although it just tastes like pizza. It is cool if you want to do something fancy for a dinner, but not at all worth it if you just bake it for yourself.
Basically Chicago style?
Sounds like a round lasagna with a crust or something like that.
Or a deep dish pizza, although the bull of that is sauce cheese and toppings so maybe a lasagna is kinda more accurate.
Lol my wife works in a clinic with some folks that are a little messy, with messier SOs.
I get so much goodwill for just laying in the cut. Sending a meme instead of a mean text is apparently a hard hurdle to clear for some folks.
OMG! This is sooo me! (the competent one, not the social pariah).
Relationships work best when you just do things.
Only job I don’t touch is laundry. I’m perfectly fine doing it, but my spouse has the most convaluted ADHD non-system. When I do help I end up washing clean clothes and putting away dirty clothes because I can’t tell what pile is what.
My wife and i kind of just fell into set tasks that we dont mind doing, but the other person hates. For example, i hate emptying the dishwasher, but i dont mind filling it. She does all the laundry, i do all the bathroom cleaning.
My spouse set up individual tubs for each person’s clothes to be put in after the dryer (including tubs for blankets and towels).
Very organized, but the entire laundry room floor is covered in these individual tubs.
I fold things as soon as I take them out of the dryer so I can avoid the tubs.
All I had to do was ruin a few articles of her clothing and I was off the job. I was truly trying to be helpful, but the blowback was real. I still do my own, however.
First sentence sounded a lot like weaponized incompetence. 😅
IKR? I was accused of that, but it was honestly unintentional even if the results were not entirely undesirable…
Laundry go in machine come out wet. Put in next machine, come out dry. It was a while ago and I have since learned there is nuance with fabrics/temps/hang dry, etc. I still do just my own laundry as the lesson is not forgotten, but I am also approved for general sheets and towels duty. You do what you will with the original information!
I love my partner but honestly, gun to my head, I could never get a load of her laundry done without disaster. I tried, but determining which of her infinite identical black articles of clothing are hand-wash only, which are dry-clean only, which are cold wash hang-dry, which are tumble dry light, etc. is a skill I completely lack. Add to it that she’s autistic as all hell and so has removed the tags from every article of clothing she owns and I never stood a chance on this one…
(meanwhile my own laundry follows the “if it can’t go into the wash on heavy-duty, hot, it’s weak and needs to be culled from the herd” line of thinking. I’m not particularly presentable, I admit.)
Yeah, my wife and I have a general rule that if it goes in the laundry basket it gets cold regular duty then high heat tumble dry unless otherwise stated (as in each time it’s in there). I’ve got a few hang drys and so I just say I’m doing the laundry when they’re in it. And I always fold because I’m the one who’s more peculiar about how my dresser is organized.
There’s a certain point in peculiarity where if you need the chore done that way you can do it yourself or you can learn to live with how your partner does it
My wife enjoys cooking, I don’t really like it.
My wife hates doing dishes, but I find it a nice excuse to listen to a podcast while doing something menial.
I saw this from another angle a while ago. Speaking to a group of women at work and mentioned I do pretty much all the cooking at home. One of them asked what I make and I got the impression she doubted my ability, she is older and perhaps basing this off her own husband.
So I listed some weekday meals I typically make, made a point that it is all stuff I make after work too because someone had mentioned not having the time to cook.
Sourdough pizza, egg fried rice and lemon chicken, toad in the hole, pie with roast potatoes and gravy. Then sometimes if we want a pudding I sometimes make rice pudding, or steamed sponge like a jam roly poly or spotted dick.
I am a big fan of weekday risotto since learning you don’t actually have to stir it if you have a good sealing dutch oven or pressure cooker and short grain rice.
Risotto isn’t something I usually cook, maybe I should try it sometime. I don’t normally stir rice when cooking it anyway. Currently got very cheap white rice which can be a little sticky compared to the basmati rice I usually cook with, but its not a massive problem.
Its a great way to make some broth and random veggies into something very tasty. I like to do mushroom with soy sauce and miso but lots of stuff works
I would be soooo fat knowing you. That sounds amazing.
TIL “spotted dick” is actually food.
It’s food as well
Please don’t be alarmed, but I am finding out where you live and coming round for my tea.
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