And does the SF ever go away?
I am guessing the “nofap” idea comes from religion. Amazing how a god is so obsessed with sex. Makes one wonder if it is just men trying to control a natural drive in order to control others.
While the reason for someone to follow “nofap” varies from person to person. It does not come from religion. It is mainly a movement to help fight porn addiction.
Porn addiction is controversial. It probably came from religion to.
Personally, I think “NoFap” is bro-science with little basis in anything even remotely factual.
As someone who was single (and a virgin, to apply a social construct) well into my 30s, I can totally relate to the emotional burden that loneliness, sexual frustration, social isolation, and all of the self-negative thoughts that come from feeling broken and unlovable. I get it, I really do!
To say that “it sucks” is an understatement, and I truly understand how feeling those kinds of feelings can make some “incel” guys lash out and be angry at themselves, women, or society at large. That’s not an attempt to excuse bad behavior, of course, but only to say that I understand the emotional context that too often breeds it.
I genuinely believe that loneliness really is an epidemic, for men and women alike, in both friendship and romance, and when you combine that with a modern political climate that seeks profit and power from fostering culture wars and driving wedges between regular people, it’s not hard to understand how we have become conditioned to hate ourselves and each other.
Undoubtedly, there is a serious problem with modern culture and proprietary app-driven socialization.
But here’s the key point: I really don’t think depriving yourself of sexual pleasure is going to make you less lonely, less isolated, less self-negative, or even more motivated to meet others.
Self-control can be a virtue, sure. There is certainly value in being able to resist instant gratification and controlling one’s urges…
But choosing to live a “life of NoFap” isn’t going to do anything to address the core reasons why you feel lonely or isolated in the first place. All you are really doing, in my view, is kicking yourself while you’re down–punishing yourself for being lonely, when you should instead be practicing self-care.
Companionship, romance, and sex are different things, crucially. Ideally we would have them all, but you can have one without the others. So, with that in mind, why on Earth should a person deprive themselves of sexual pleasure just because they are lacking in romance or companionship?
The unspoken and unappreciated truth is that you don’t, and shouldn’t, need to be in a relationship to have a satisfying “sex life”. And likewise, people who aren’t in a relationship shouldn’t feel the need to deprive themselves of sexual pleasure due to some false idea that somehow being sexually frustrated will make you more motivated, attractive and likable.
If you really want to build relationships and have sex, start touching grass, getting to know people, and going out on dates. Shower, shave, wear clean clothes and deodorant, brush up on current events and take up some hobbies. Don’t just look for “girlfriends”, make friends and grow your social circle in general. If you have to ignore the superficial bullshit dating apps and meet people in other ways, then good, more power to you. But that’s really all it takes.
Your balls will explode!
I’m a woman.
Chesticles will explode
In that case, your balls probably won’t explode then.
That’s fatal.
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you can never make art again
I’m in it, last relationship was 17 years or so ago
I mean it ain’t all bad. So long as you don’t mind the actual loneliness, the physical touch gets easy to forget.
But I dunno if I’d recommend this to anyone tbh
Oh edit because I didn’t address your question. No it doesn’t go away, but it gets easier to ignore over time. Also I’m on 1500mg oh lithium so that may impact things.
Benefits: You can take all the meds with sexual side effects (e.g. most anti-depressants) which is actually a significant reason people ultimately stop taking them, and folks with testicles retain all their spermidine which low n RCTs have shown early evidence for autophagy-based longevity.
Sounds like a categorically terrible idea. Is there any ackshuall proof having 1 orgasm per day (regardless of the outlet or method) is harmful in any measurable/quantifiable way besides reducing desperation for sex?
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Well I’m a woman and I’ve talked to some men too who agree that when we masturbate it tends to make us turn socially inward & diminishes our drive to reach out to other people.
Whereas sexual frustration compels us to go out into the world with a sense of hunger & ambition, seeking social interaction & activities.
It’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen because after years of suffering all aspects of this mortal hell we call life, I’d rather feel paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.
It would seem like the source of this unhealthy worldview probably isn’t the masturbation. But if nofap honestly (honestly) helps you, then knock yourself out.
Life is about balance. You dont want to be a reclusive masturbation addict, and you don’t want to be an anxious frustrated nofapper.
Yeah but every time I cum alone, it reinforces the alone-ness. I’m sick of self-perpetuating loneliness. Going out into the world with hunger & ambition & angst feels empowering right now.
That same idea can get you into bad relationships. It’s better to find a partner with a level head.
Beliefs shape the way we feel. There’s no biological reason to feel lonely after masturbation. That’s all pseudoscience bollocks. Female orgasms cause a peak of neural activation, if anything, you should feel more active and hungry to go face the world. But the point is that this changes or differences that are usually quoted by charlatans from neurological studies, while significant, are so tiny as to not be an actual factor at an individual level.
Humans are also bad at correctly discerning causation and correlation, specially within their own emotional experience. Thus why therapy works, it’s a third party that can more objectively call out your contradictions and point out causes.
Now I would gather you believe that masturbation is something awful lonely people do and that’s why you feel lonely when you masturbate. This doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with you. However, most people ignore that most of our worldviews, and beliefs we take for granted are actually cemented in childhood experiences, not always traumatic. But they do build the foundations of our personalities.
It’s perfectly possible to masturbate then go out into the world with hunger and ambition. Most people do.
You’re a woman who wants to “NoFap”?
I was just using a quick easy term that you’re all familiar with. Though Im pretty sure the word “fap” is an onomatopoeia for the rhythmic fleshy smacking noise of penis being furiously stroked in one’s own hand.
Then IMO follow what makes you feel right. In general just avoid taking things to extremes.
This view seems, to me, to be really sex-focused in kind of a creepy way that … if you ask me, might have something to do with denying basic urges.
You can go out into the world looking for connections that are not sexual.
Without sexual release we’re a bit voracious & on edge but also at peak creativity & ambition; driving us to go out in the world and get shit done. Invent things. Create things. Meet new people with no ulterior motives, already living a wholesome life, and that’s how we can meet people the real way without our hands constantly down our own pants.
I am older, and have not found any of that to be true. As a lady, more makes more; more sex makes sex feel better and it’s easier to get off, and sexual frustration does not make me creative at all, just distracted and frustrated.
There is also physical benefit to sex for older women, I don’t know if it’s the same for younger, but certainly after menopause sex prevents vaginal atrophy and prolapse of internal organs, it’s sort of a use it or lose it situation. Penetration and orgasms are good for muscle tone, apparently. Beyond the obvious benefits of pleasure and relationship building.
What evidence are you basing the idea that your drive comes from your libido? There are a lot of people out there with low or no libidos who have accomplished a ton.
Why are you focusing on libido as the source of creativity to the exclusion of a lot of other potential drivers?
This is what I am saying: the focus seems odd and creepy without lots of evidence for your reasoning.
It’s my own subjective experience. Masturbating is effortless immediate gratification that turns me into a reclusive hermit.
But every time I abstain for a month or so, I become a real person who participates in life & wants to connect with people.
The difference is undeniable.
I’m not telling you what to do and I’m not telling anyone else in the world what I think they should do. I’m telling you my own subjective experience and my own choice.
I think maybe you should think through why you feel that way, though. Surely you could decide to go out and be social because you would like to make new friends or be entertained. You’re here, writing out your thoughts, so you’re able to reflect and decide on actions.
Yes, you’re right. Don’t let anyone tell you how you feel. Doesn’t make it exactly scientific though, even if it’s true.
I’m a man so maybe it’s different but having tried both, that certainly isn’t the case for me. Without sexual release I just want to cum. It doesn’t inspire me to do anything else that won’t move me towards that goal. Maybe if masturbation were impossible it would be a different story but as it stands the only purpose being frustrated serves is to distract me from non-sexual tasks. Being lonely on the other hand does inspire me to go out and do things and maintain relationships but it’s not for sex. If I’m frustrated in that regard I’d rather just stay home and jerk off. That’s a sure thing rather than the incredibly low chance I’ll meet someone that wants to fuck me right away.
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I sincerely dont and cant understand no-fap outside of an addiction 12-steps/abstinence style vantage point.
Yeah it would basically be an anti addiction approach for me. Addiction runs in my family and we get addicted to everything remotely pleasurable. So I’ve spent my whole life saying no to alcohol & drugs & cigarettes, and since I cant find a suitable companion I have to say no to orgasms too 🤷🏼♀️ For me it feels empowering.
I’ve also seen it recommended for breaking “death grip” habits.
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Like, i dont get how they (presumuably) view having an orgasm-via-penis-in-vagina everyday as truly and biologically distinct from everyday orgasm-via-masturbation. I dont think your body truly knows the difference in a mechanical sense.
Mechanical isn’t the only part being played. There’s hormones too. I’m positive there’s differences there depending on alone or with someone. Whether or not that has any health implications I’ve no idea.
You get it!
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Having never looked into it, beyond what I come across occasionally on sites like this, I always assumed the idea was that being desperate for “relief” somehow made them more attractive to women, hormonally, or made them more “alpha”? Somehow.
Really stupid shit that kids fall for, I guess.
being desperate for “relief” somehow made them more attractive to women
We all know that the thing women are most attracted to is desperation. /s
being desperate for “relief” somehow makes men more attractive to women, hormonally
It’s true!
I just saw several posts the last 2 days of a study that showed that if you don’t cum enough, your sperm becomes a bunch of dumb dumbs. Yes, I used scientific lingo for that, I’m sorry.
You ll just be alot more horny and you will have more sexual daydreams. The rest normalizes, but keep in mind sex is healthy for the body in general.
I can only guess anger, depression and extreme irritability. Especially in such a sexually charged culture.
I’ll first state that I am NOT the normal outcome but I think it might be interesting for others to see my situation.
I am transfem (male-to-female) and am on Estrogen injections and Progesterone pills. I’m not on any testosterone blockers as my natural testosterone production is literally 1/10th the average male testosterone levels (56 without HRT, 18 on HRT. Minimum acceptable level is ≥250). I am also on antidepressants, and 2 anti anxiety medications. All of these combine to me having essentially no labido at all.
I would call myself asexual but if I find a partner I might want to do it sometimes, but idk since I’ve never had a partner because I really don’t have any natural drive to get one like others do 😅
I only had 1 crush throughout my entire teenage years, but on HRT I am falling for people a LOT more now lolOn estrogen you don’t get ‘morning wood’ like mens bodies do, which is a natural thing your body does to prevent the damage/shrinking to tissue in the penis. So instead you have to manually get an erection at least once a week, but this is difficult for me as I have no drive to. I have casually gone 2.5 weeks without doing it just because I really didn’t want to, and have experienced the repercussions of it.
I would say there’s some really slight tension for the first week but then absolutely nothing 🤷♀️
I feel like this meme portrays my attraction type more than anything sexual
Thank you for sharing your experience. It seems based on your numbers and pre-transition experience, you were always genetically meant to be a woman, low testosterone & low libido just like so many of us!
That cartoon, yeah whenever I’m in a relationship I always end up feeling like the girl in pink. I’m so clingy & obsessed. But when I’m alone I’m stronger getting shit done & being independent & responsible, because there’s no other choice, gotta survive, but so lonely.
Balls = Blue
I’m amused by all the people here who don’t realize I’m a woman. I even made a new account in a new instance with a new username that is undeniably female. I thought surely people would finally stop calling me “dude” and “bro” and talking about my non-existent balls 🤣
I don’t think we have a term specifically for women that would equate to “blue balls…” 🤔 We should, tho.
One of the side effects is compulsive posting on 4chan /pol
Using the term “NoFap” in the title is a bit like putting “AI” in there - it pretty much guarantees zero productive conversation in the comments and instead acts as a bug light for certain people to just chime in with their personal views on that one thing.
I don’t even bother writing a response to the actual question because I don’t want to spend the rest of the day defending views I don’t even hold.
I don’t understand the idea of not fapping.
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🤣 You’re not wrong.
