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men are discouraged from approaching women and women dont want to show their interest in clear way. How have we not gone extinct yet?
Because the internet isn’t real life and plenty of people know how to talk to people, including those of the opposite sex.
Fun story: this guy I know on my gaming Facebook group would complain about being single. This was an older men’s group/dad group. He’d repeat whatever the manosphere would say and ask for validation, and we (usually married dudes) usually say things like, “Yeah man dating is hard” and “women give mix signals”.
Finally, mods called out how his last 10+ posts were complaining and his shitty attitude is just sucking the energy out of the group. They warned him that if he kept it up, they’d ban him from the group until he fixed his behavior.
Fast forward to today - he’s telling us about his new girlfriend he met on NYE and how they had a amazing valentines. He shared how after that post, he took a long look at himself and stopped sabotaging himself.
We are on the way. sex and relationship rates are massively declining for Gen Z.
I have four newphews 16-20. they have all dated. all but one of them has already sworn off dating because they think it’s total bullshit and they thought it was miserable and no fun to have a girlfriend, for the very same reasons, I also am frustrated with dating and relationships in my 40s. It’s insane. It took me 30+ years of dating to get fed up, they were fed up in 1-2 years.
And all of us agree the issue is women’s expectations they get from social media. My 17 year old nephew broke up with his gf because he got her flowers and she complained they were not $200+ that he was a ‘low effort’ boyfriend and all her friends dog-piled in group chat and agreed. He’s 17 and he makes 15 bikes an hour part time…
Like why would any sane person want to subject themselves to group harassment from multiple women for the ‘sin’ of not being able to buy her absurdly expensive flowers? In my situation, I take women out on $100-200 dinner takes and get told that I’m a ‘loser’ for not taking her out to a $1000 restaurant on our 3rd date. It’s INSANE.
None of that happened 10 years ago. If I took a woman out to a $100 restaurant 10 years ago she was STOKED. Now the refrain on the news is ‘men are not good enough for women and women are giving up’. Without acknowledging the changes in women’s expectations for men due to their addiction to social media and constant consumption of ‘lifestyle’ influences.
All anyone blames is the manosphere… and how evil that is. But really it’s both sexes that are swept up in these toxic sexist expectations that are making both of them miserable and lonely and unable to connect with other people.
Damn.
15 bikes an hour is really fucking impressive, no what what kind of bikes.
Right, depending on the margins, he could probably make good money selling those bikes.
Where are you finding these women? I’ve never dated anyone like that. Not disputing that they exist, but to take out enough of them that it’s worth bitching about online may indicate a problem with the choices you’re making. Plenty of women are looking for an actual connection and relationship with someone.
they are the majority of the single women in my city in their 30s, on dating apps and in real life. They choose me, i don’t choose them. They send me likes on apps, they chat me up, they go out with me, they date me. Last night I got 3 likes on a dating app from women who said on their profile that they want a ‘real man’ to take care of them… my profile says I am not a ‘real man’. And yet they will still pursue me. They think I am hot/attractive, but they basically want me to change everything about my lifestyle and personality and beliefs…
The women I am interested in aren’t usually single. So unless I start an affair or poach someone’s wife, I can only date the women who are single who are like this. I am not interested in trying to steal people’s wives and girlfriends. Those women don’t have single female friends for me to date either. Every liberal outdoorsy nerdy girl I meet, is never ever single. Some of them are lesbians/queer though and very cool, but again, I can’t really date a lesbian/queer person as a straight guy.
I try to date outside of my city, but women in the suburbs usually even worse and they are usually conservative Trump types who hate me for being a liberal. They also are interested in me.
And all of us agree the issue is women’s expectations they get from social media
Yikes. Sounds like you’re all single for good reasons.
You’re kinda down to the dregs when you get to your thirties, the nice ones have all paired up by that point.
Many will have married already, so choices when I was in my 30’s tended to be:
- Somebody who didn’t marry because they really were careful about who they want to date or settle down with. This could be fine, but could also mean unrealistic expectations or some issue that hadn’t worked through previously (I was in the latter boat)
- Somebody who married and divorced, possibly due to a relationship that went bad. They may be the cause of that, the victim of it, or other circumstances. Increased chance of kids and ex issues
- Married but the spouse passed away (30+ is increased chances for previously unknown medical issues to crop up, it just a car accident)
- Somebody who didn’t have it together enough (in their mind) to even consider relationships. Could have been persuing a career or took a bit to get past the “wild party” stage
- Immigrants. People who worked to get out of one country and to another and relationships weren’t in the cards yet. There can be possible language/cultural miscommunication hurdles (including different social cues)
I wouldn’t say it’s the dregs. Just that one’s choices have changed a lot from “the one a couple houses/lockers down from you”.
I’m in my 30s and I don’t feel that way at all. Yeah, there’s lots of shitty people or ones I don’t vibe with but that’s been the case my whole life. Many of the ones that I’d have considered a poor match in my early 20s have matured since then into much more likable people. If you’re using dating apps though, you are probably going to get more exposure to the dregs. One of many reasons I don’t touch those. You can still meet people the old fashioned way by going out and doing things. You may not find someone as quickly but you’re not getting constant negativity thrown in your face.
dating in my early 30s was great. once i got past 35 thought, it all went to shit. 9/10 dates i meet now give me this long premable about how their exes all sucked and i better be better than them. it’s insane. like they will approach me at a bar/event and just start ranting at me, and think it’s cute or ‘flirting’ because they are issuing me a challenge I have to overcome to prove my worth to them. because ‘real men’ want to prove their worth to their woman… yeah right
and the 1/10 one that doesn’t… has never dated and has basically no adult life experience. i did go out with a nice lady last month… but she was had zero real life experience and I’m not interested in that either. she had been living at home until she was 35 and just starting her adult life like she was 22.
every normal, happy, well adjust woman I meet is already married. that includes all my female friends over the years. the funny part is they are so chill you don’t even know they are married because they don’t really talk about their SO at all… because they are their own person and don’t have a partner who defines them and from which they derive their worth and self esteem… and if you flirt with them they just point it out and it’s no big deal.
before i was 35 i used to meet normal people who actually wanted to date normally. but the culture has changed it’s much more hostile and aggressive than it was even 5 years ago. even when I see other people on dates when I am out… often it’s weird and hostile interaction and it’s rarely relaxed. I miss going out with people who were relaxed and chill and who had passions and interests, instead of relentlessly trying to judge every aspect of me and then think they are above all judgement in their quest to acquire a fantasy romance novel of a relationship.
i blame all these gender toxic media shit. i grew up with the idea men and women were the same and our differences were funny and not a big deal. now people act everyone of the opposite sex is the enemy until prove otherwise by subordinating themselves to their ‘tests’ and ‘checklists’. It’s like people are looking for someone to hate more than someone to love, and absolutely no interest in a mutual understanding. but when i see videos of the shit that goes on on tiktok and instagram and all that… holy moly the ‘advice’ people give is just insanely toxic shit.
there is also a huge uptick in traditional gender role crap the past 5 or so years. in 2015 I never saw women demanding 1950s style relationships or demanding men pay for everything so they can be homemakers. now it’s easily 50% of the profiles I see on dating apps. not to mention the crap games where they insist on splitting the bill and then text you after the date that ‘you shouldn’t have let me pay, you are not the man for me’. crap.
Brother, if you think this is a one-way thing, you are profoundly mistaken
sorry, do men dog pile on their friends girlfriends for not buying them nice enough gifts? or not giving him enough blowjobs?
I’ve never had another guy comment on my relationship with my girlfriend. and I’ve never commented on theirs. only thing I ever experience was some bitter virgin types guy telling me how good i have it that I have ever had sex or get female attention at all.
Please, do not go down this road. Are you really going to argue that our society does not put unrealistic expectations on women?
No, I’d argue that women who think that way are simple choosing to be miserable and making excuses for it. And that’s their choice.
They also often blame men for their choice the make them unhappy, weirdly enough.
I don’t date or interact with women who think that way, purposefully. I sure do meet plenty of them, who lecture me about how hard their lives are… and I just laugh at them because most of the time their life is 1000x easier than mine ever was.
And I’d argue you’re going full speed down the incel slope, and that’s your choice.
The incel slope does seem to have a lot more members lately, whether due to social media or guys bitter from failed relationships, bit I will note that there’s an old adage that still often rings true
“Men will fight each other physically sometimes to the point of bloodshed, but women will tear each other down socially without mercy”
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We slowly are, most western countries have a birth rate below what we need to maintain the population.
That’s for economic reasons that have nothing to do with gender issues.
Nah, it’s a mixture of both.
No, it’s not. Many studies have confirmed this. Do your research.
Yes it is, studies have confirmed it.
We compensate with ✨horny✨
Women are like cats. They rub on you, climb on you, try to be near you, sigh when they’re next to you, and we’re like “I think she’s just being friendly”. Also, I just told on myself that I don’t have a girlfriend because I compared women to cats…
because I compared women to cats…
you should look at better places on fedi for a gf :)
😅😅😅 Why ?
I mean my boyfriend calls me good kitty but like you should like warm up to that lmao.
Do you have cats?
I have a cat and I get messages on dating apps from women telling me they like me but I need to get rid of my cat to date them. It’s fucking weird.
Wow, I can’t believe you said that!!! I was vibing with a woman who approached me. Got her number, we have similar interests, etc. I mentioned in a text something offhand about my cat in the context of “what have you been up to”… Boom. Instant ghost. Never heard from her again!
a lot of women think a man with a cat is gay. even if they have a cat, or like cats.
it’s incredibly stupid. but incredibly common.
Okay… Maybe this is a dumb question… but if I get her digits and am clearly pursuing her… how could she think I’m gay!?
a lot of women think a man with a cat is gay. even if they have a cat, or like cats.
Yeah when I got my cat all I wanted to do was have anal sex with a guy.
It was so odd. Pat a dog and it’s like all want is pussy.
Pat a cat and bam, ass all the way
It’s nice of them to tell you that you should ignore them.
there is a tend of people being aggressive now in dating where they basically like list out all their demands and then expect you to say yes or something. it’s so fucking weird to me to demand that a complete stranger pay your bills for you or get rid of their pet for you, but it’s popular on tiktok and all that. and if someone says no your demands, they are a weak and pathetic person. There is just this weird like ‘make major lifelong commitments to me from the get go’ nonsense going on.
maybe I’m old fashioned but when i was growing up you typically didn’t make demands from strangers, you got to know them a bit before you started asking them for major commitments and then you respected them if they said no. relationships were something that emerged and you negotiated, they weren’t employment contracts where you specified everything you ‘need’ before you even met them.
something something commodification of relationships, I guess?
Hint all you want, the decent among us will still be terrified of looking creepy. Just tell us!
What most women don’t get is that men like assertive women.
Some men don’t. Just like some women don’t like assertive men.
People generally, like other assertive people who are clear about what they want. I don’t have any issue with a woman giving me a clear rejection. But I really hate the fake ‘rejections’ they give me most of the time that leave the door open or the bullshit double-standard where they reject me and then expect me to ‘try harder’ to win them over because ‘men need to chase me’. or whatever horse pucky they believe.
The bear thing scared a lot of decent guys off.
edit: And just to be clear, should anyone think i’m alpha male-ing. If every woman out there is scared to death of the average guy, who am I to further that? I have a wife, I have kids, I simply do not start conversations with women because when that chose the bear thing happened, not one woman I know didn’t resonate with that. Who am I to try to push past that?
Why are women even taught/expected to behave like sneaky spies when it comes to romance? “Ok, time to do my personal hair signal that I’m interested and want him to approach”
Being clear about your desire also means that rejection is clear, and that hurts.
The girl in the OP isn’t happy with being ignored tho
she won’t be happy if she gets what she wants either.
unhappy people invent reasons to be unhappy, no matter what happens, good or bad.
Probably because historically the patriarchy took away women’s rights to be able to choose mates and had years and years of arranged marriages. Then couple that with women being in those forced relationships who could not chose their partners looking for comfort outside of the inhumane treatment of forced marriages and you get societal pressures that taught women they dont get a say in romantic relationships and as such them showing interest had to be covert as it was typically to those outside their prescribed marriage and if caught they could at the very least be socially disowned or at worst be literally killed for it. So yeah im not surprised women have a tendency to be less obvious about it its only very recently in human history that they got to have a say in finding partners.
I don’t think that’s it.
This is a selfmade problem, don’t try to pin it on anyone but women.
plausible deniability. if you don’t actually try, you can’t actually be rejected.
This is a selfmade problem, don’t try to pin it on anyone but women.
From that girl’s perspective, it seems that she feels rejected, just not explicitly
This makes me think of a conversation between my wife and daughter a while back.
Daughter is angry with her BF and frustrated that he seems oblivious to that
Wife: “Oh honey, no. It doesn’t work like that. If I’m mad at your dad for something I just have to tell him. If he asks if I’m OK and I say, ‘I’m fine’, he takes that at face value. He’s very literal.”
Daughter: “Ugh. Doesn’t that frustrate you?”
Wife: “It was weird at first but once you get used to it it’s actually really nice. You just have to learn to talk to him.”
Me: “Wait, I did something right?”
Wife: “You do lots of things right babe.”
Yeah, I think she likes me.
Yeah communication is key. Even if you are too literal at least you are clear and not obscuring your thoughts.
Like is a strong word. Let’s say she’s used to you.
Aside from a lot of guys being thickheaded and not seeing it, there’s also selection bias.
A) A girl has a crush on a guy. He notices but plays it safe. Maybe she’s just friendly. Result: no harm done except perpetuating the myth that guys don’t notice.
B) A girl is just friendly but the guy thinks he’s being crushed on and acts on it. Now he’s forever labeled as a creep.
The only safe play as a guy is always, always assuming she’s just being friendly. Unless she comes right out and says she wants to hump your bones, just assume she’s being nice to you.
She’s Canadian.
Pascal’s Wager but for pussy
Quadruple the caution if it’s a coworker. Hello HR violation.
To quote Amos Burton, “I don’t shit where I eat”
Don’t, “butter your bread where you earn it.”
if romance is a type of shit to you then i’m sorry for all your relationships
Thanks for lining it out so well.
There’s a good shot that she’s into me, but if she’s not, I’ll either die of embarrassment or I’ll get bullied by their whole social circle.
Add to this that men usually are not as socially comfortable as women, and you kinda understand it why this happens.
This happens to women too. The embarrasement is real and the societal pressure to not be seen as a slut is everpresent. Playing it safe is a popular strategy no matter the gender.
It’s 2026. Are people still that puritanical that they care about somebody else’s sexual activity?
The places I’ve lived in the last 15 years have been extremely sex positive, which was a slight shift in mindsets from where I grew up, which was slowly coming this way.
Is there a sudden resurgence in this behavior? Is it part of the man-o-sphere bullshit?
Are people still that puritanical that they care about somebody else’s sexual activity?
Yes. Many people devote their entire personalities towards policing other people’s sex lives. Just look at the hatred towards LGBTQ people that continues to go on and on. It never went away, it just got pushed back, often to largely rural areas. Look at the transphobia of the past 15 or so years. That’s all based in the same nonsense.
Even amongst the LGBTQ community, you have the recent “kink at Pride” drama, but there are also decades old issues like gay men using the same homophobia used on them by straight guys against bi men - or saying that they’re not part of the community if they’re dating a woman.
yes. most people are incredibly puritanical. including ‘sex positive’ people. most self-proclaimed ‘sex positive’ people i knew are the ones who judged people the most for their sexual habits. anytime i have hung out with sex positive people i have been shamed by them for being a slut, or being a prude. i’m a man and i’ve had women reject me for my partner count many times for being too much or too little.
it’s not a resurgence, it’s always been there. it will always be there. people don’t like people who are different than them. it makes feel feel bad and insecure and they blame you for it rather than question their own feelings.
Oh yeah most definitely.
I just wrote this because these memes are rampant and funny, but they do make light of a bad circumstance on our society. And that trope usually targets men, so here’s some context.
It’s always good to play it safe unless evidence is so overwhelming that she’s into you. This has cost me some romantic opportunities but has also kept me from being the guy who dates all his female friends.
We typically have no idea unless explicitly told, no.
Even then, maybe she’s just nice. Or canadian
I knew a nice Canadian that had a crush on me once. I still messed it up.
i don’t click the link but i know which video it is
Edit: Is she into you? - Casually Explained
Damn, I got here too late, I wanted to make this reference too!
Yeah, see, my girlfriend just right out told me. But we’re both AuADHD. So you know, things happen impulsively and directly.
I asked her on a date, she said yes. We get to the date we have fun, we have a long night out, she goes home and texts me “I like you.”
Yep. Which is a good thing too because I liked her and was a lot nervous about that.
God damn that’s the dream. This chick at the store smiles at me a lot and giggles when I’m nearby. I like hearing her laugh and seeing her smile and don’t want things to get awkward, so I’m not saying anything :/
just ask her out.
she will say yes or no. anything that isn’t ‘yes!’ is a no.
The problem with doing something like that is it can make the situation awkward permanently afterwards
it’s already permanently awkward
Be direct with “Hey, I noticed that you smile a lot at me and giggle when I am around. If you want to talk outside of the store. Can I give you my phone number?”
If she’s an employee and your a customer, don’t ask her for her phone number or out when she’s working. She will feel trapped and pressured to say yes. However. by giving her your number she gets to decide if they moves forward or not. If you are co-workers, same advice. Don’t ask her out or her number. Give her your number, let her decide to move forward or not.
Also respect any boundaries she has.
Just give her your phone number.
Aw yeah. There was this beauty at the store that, in hindsight, obviously gave me the eye, repeatedly. I wanted to ask her to a coffee the next time, but then she already wasn’t around anymore. Don’t be too late.
Even if we’re explicitly told the first twenty times we’ll just think she’s being nice.
We can, we just don’t want to reveal our telepathic abilities. Shhhhh
Oh my yes. I do ask, subtley, if they can read minds. And on the off-chance they say yes, I take a hot minute to push the brain “clear browser history” button before carrying on – just in case.
A girl told me in 8th grade that she knew I liked her, and was cool with it. I thought she was nice for not being creeped out that I liked her, until one day on college when I finally realized what she meant.
Well, don’t leave us bros hanging! What did she mean?
That she might be down to clown if the circus is in town, but our boy left her hanging around at the dog pound
!remindme 3years
do we have a remindme here?
!remindme 1 second
She lived in a refrigerator.
That’s cool
I told a girl who told me she likes me that she is bluffing… 🤦♂️
A girl in college told me she liked me when we were in high school, took me like two days to realize what she meant…
It’s clear that when they say they liked you in high school, it means that they don’t like you any more, and you blew your one shot. Don’t be a dick and try now, that ship has sailed.
Or it means they’ve had a long term crush on you, and are very interested. Sometimes you get little context.
Good communication is important.
If that were true, they’d say it. Don’t be that creepy guy who thinks a girl likes them just because they’re nice. - What guys believe.
Well don’t leave us hanging! What did she mean?
No man knows what she means.
What did she meant?!
A lot of the time we do know, but we’re terrified of getting it wrong and getting rejected and maybe worse.
One rejection in college had me pegged as a creep to the point many of my own friends stopped talking to me. All I did was ask someone to get some tea once but I guess I didn’t do the mating dance right or something idk.
Was a pretty powerful lesson in seeing how people will believe what they want to believe. I guess it’s the same for many of the “creeps” and “sluts” out there.
I rejected a girl in college and she went around telling everyone she could that I sexually harassed her.
She got her comeuppance and got booted out of school after she did it to other guys too, but it was terrifying for that brief window when people believed her. I’d be eating lunch and random weirdos would come up to me and go ‘I KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU FUCKING CREEP!’ Very few people supported me, and it was only my few closest friends, and my ex.
And even better, when I share that experience, at least 50% of the people who hear it, still think it is my fault or I’m lying. Because men are all rapists, and women are all hapless victims who never do anything bad or wrong…
That really is not ok, sorry bro. This happened to a friend of mine too, and I saw what that did to him. It’s so much worse than people realize. He nearly got kicked out of school over it even.
What saved him was the same thing that saved you: she was stupid enough to make a pattern out of the behaviour. That said it didn’t make it all better, because he no longer trusted the people who abandoned him. The social dynamics of that group never recovered.
I had a couple of people apologize to me after she was found out. That was cool. But most didn’t.
People love to make up fake bullshit. I had another issue with this other woman… that I never ever even met who kept going around telling other people who I slept with her and how shit in bed I was. I literally never met her, but people told me about it. Maybe she had a crush or something. it was fucking weird.
after being rejected 100 times in a row for “ew gross i don’t associate disabled people” when after a couple dates i let them see me take a blood pressure pill (hadn’t even let them see any of my massive collection of scars except my arm and face, which i can’t exactly hide without michael jacksoning) you kind of just start making fairly accurate assumptions about the women in your society
Hahahahahahahaha hahahahaha.
That’s one of those easy things for me to overshare. I take half a dozen pills daily to function. If they aren’t, or at least don’t know why I take them, it ain’t gonna work.
The actual like, really disabling thing about me isn’t any of the things I’m treated for. It’s my sleep disorder. I still have to show up to my 9-5. My kid still has arrival and pickup times at school. Banks are only open 9-5.
I’ve found that women with treated or untreated disabilities understand this shit way more than normies. That’s not to say go look for them, but don’t try to fit into an ablist mask, that’s far more harmful
don’t try to fit into an ablist mask, that’s far more harmful
it took me so so long to learn that one
Been there. Not blaming women either, men are equally ableist.
Women and men are ableist because society as a whole is ableist.
Wouldn’t be better to do it on the first date?
there are better ways to vet potential dates
When women can’t communicate and frustrate themselves.
I have dated women who expect me to read their minds and think if I am not Professor X I don’t care about them.
One breakup the reason was “I shouldn’t have to ask you for anything, you should already know what I want before I want it. That is what love is!”
Then I asked her if she does that for me and she made a face and said “No, you’re a man you don’t deserve that.”
That sounds like a bullet dodged honestly.
You deserve someone to love you in a way that includes showing it by doing little things to make your life easier/better/more comfortable.
I don’t meet anyone like that. So I stay single. I was just on a date last week with a woman who made it clear it was my job to serve her, and my ‘reward’ was her company and I should never ask anything of her… this is the most common attitude I get these days. Along with a lot of ‘equal respectful partnership is slavery for the woman’ nonsense.
That was my wife for the last 20 years… The divorce is almost final (almost as in we’ve both signed off, it’s been sent to the court (Friday afternoon) we’re just waiting to hear back…). Yeah, she cheated on me. Yeah, it was a surprise. Yeah, she blamed me for not paying enough attention to her.
yep, the woman i quoted above, also was cheating.
she also told me it ‘wasn’t her fault’ that she was 175K in debt and that it was my job to help her back it back…
As a dude in my 20s, actively trying to find some random 20 year old woman to date for a long term relationship is such a bad decision. I’ve stopped trying to date people (for now) because it’s just so draining as a man to have to deal with all the expectations and stereotypes placed on us.
my teenage nephews feel exactly the same way. they are completely cynical about romance due to the ridiculous and hypocritical BS that their potential dates put on them. and they have only had 1 girlfriend for a few months. It took me 30 years dozens of girlfriends and 100s of dates to get to that point!
something something equal rights
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It seems you’re generalizing about all women in the same way that you yourself are complaining about being generalized. Hmmmm curious
My complaint isn’t one of being generalized. Is that what you projected on it? Hmmm curious.
“anything they don’t understand is weird and wrong and should be shunned” is how you characterized women, and seems to be something that you take issue with, no? Or do you actually like that they do that (in your opinion)?
Is that not a generalization that you claim women make about you/ “undesirable men” (to use your own vernacular)?
I think if you changed your perspective away from incel and towards charitably I bet you’d have a lot more luck communicating with them.
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If you want to know why men with basic decency are so oblivious, head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”. I’m friends with several real life women, and most of them hold that same opinion and have damn good reasons for it (“Except you glitch, you’re one of the good ones”). More than one have expressed to me that they hate being straight because they’ve never dated a man who hasn’t taken advantage of them.
So yeah, I’m not making a move on a lady, well mostly because I’m gay, but even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t unless she explicitly asked for it. (I’d also have to run it by my boyfriend, and ask if she wanted a threesome with us, but that’s another topic.)
Let’s check out womens stuff… arts and crafts, cute outfits, articles on women’s health, weekly accomplishments, friday games, memes… did not see a single comment or post calling all men rapists. Probably because it goes against the rules.
sounds like today is a good day. To be fair, I only pay them a visit when they hit the all feed so my observation may be heavily skewed.
I was looking at the last month. Mind linking where they call all men rapists?
I block those posts when I see them, so no I don’t have links
That’s because you made it up. I’ve been commenting and posting to that community for months. Most of the comment sections don’t even mention men.
So how do I move into the universe you live in? Sounds better than the reality I’m in.
Reminds me of an interaction my friend had with a girl that he usually just had casual sex with. She asked him if they could do some rougher stuff, things that definitely would leave a physical mark. He said OK, but ONLY if she wrote up a statement beforehand explaining that this is in fact something she wanted to have done to her.
There isn’t a single iota he could have said or done if she decided after the fact that it wasn’t for her and just reported it to the police. Most decent guys are very cautious about being wrongly accused, as the fallout entails the same thing as actually having violated someone.
I’d say most guys are as afraid of being accused of violence as most women are afraid of being exposed to it.
I’ve dated plenty of women who lecture me about ‘enthusiastic consent’ and condom use and safe sex. but if you try to practice it with them in the bedroom, they call you a pussy and tell you to grow a pair and how they just want you to make them feel like a rape victim. they are often two-faced.
it’s stupid and insane and no well-intention ed person is going to do that. only violent weirdo nutcases are going to want to do that. And plenty of them see nothing wrong with being verbally of physically violent towards men that disappoint them. violence is only bad if it’s done to them, it’s totally OK if they do it to other people, especially men.
head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”.
basically online feminism is super toxic. don’t take it serious. women in real life are not like that, at least most aren’t.
in fact i even suggest that these people are online because they can’t deal with real life.
I’m sick of this lie that the internet isn’t real.
Have you ever heard it said that character is who you are in the dark? Kind of a Jungian take, the whole “you change your persona depending on environment and company, you’re only ever your true self when you think nobody’s watching.”
Well, I think the internet is “in the dark.” It brings out the actual in people.
