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As someone who used to work in retail, if I’m ever caught saying “guess it’s free then,” I sincerely hope everyone in the store immediately stops what they’re doing to form an orderly line to take turns slapping the piss out of me.
I’m right there with you! That was the only one that I refuse to do!
I used to just say, “If you can run fast enough. I don’t know if I’d chance it though… Tony’s working today.”
“Nope, actually means it’s not for sale. Sorry.”
The shocked pikachu face they make is fucking priceless
In my experience, they usually take the counter-dad joke in stride, and we move on (sometimes they do make an obviously exaggerated expression as part of the joke). I’m probably an outlier, but I’ve always found “that means it’s free” quaint if just really trite; it’s just trying to be friendly and make my monotonous day a little more fun, and I understand from their perspective that it isn’t conspicuously overused. So I take the joke for its intent (I’ve never seen it used seriously, and imagining a remotely sane human being doing so strains credulity) instead of its actual novelty or cleverness. I will never make it because it’s so worn-out and I know it’ll make most people in retail groan, but I don’t begrudge people who do, since I’ve never seen it used in a sincerely harassing, negative way.
One thing I have grown into is to refuse to use my time to try to find prices for stuff, when the store fails to label it.
16, and that’s just the things I’ve said this week
8, and I’m a woman without children 🤔
13, also no children.
Spiritually dad-like ✨
Sure thing. I know its you dad
Keep practicing, get those numbers up, and next thing you know, you’ll have a wife and two offspring!
You’re a faux pas
3 - 1 because I’m awkward, 1 because I used to be a horse girlie, and 1 because my dad taught me to be an obnoxious wiseass.
You’re… a centaur!?
No, a dad (a weird one, granted but still). I thought we’d established that?
no, a wiseass is a type of donkey
Not just any kind of donkey, the SMARTEST of all donkeys!
A ton of these are part of my daily routine.
Oh. I am fully dad.
Hi fully dad, I’m sudoMakeUser
Ouch… 18/20
Edit: They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
I thought about this recently and it does make sense. You’ve gotta test the spring so you can use the right amount of force
They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
That’s because that’s an everyone thing, not just dads. I have done this since I old enough to hold them.
Of course. Makes the food taste better.
(I do that with the table marker things at Chick-Fil-A too…)
I WOULD do it, but my tongs are silicone-coated (for air fryer removal)
I have the other 2. Combined we can make a whole dad
cool, now you only have to decide who enters who
And don’t forget the requirement to pull the button two to three times immediately after picking up a power drill.
The last one is just the proper standard procedure of securing something.
You have to slap it too. Never skip that part.
The last one requires you to pat the load three times or the magic doesn’t work.
Alternatively, you can pull back and snap the strap/cord.
No you snap the strap/cord, but it still requires two pats, though the pats can be subdued with palm resting on the object and only the fingers doing the patting while you slightly lean against the object to subtly prove your point.
Fuck, I only pat it twice.
Before I was a dad, I would say a lot of these ironically, fully aware of and referencing the cliche. Now, they’re just part of me.
That’s how they getcha.
Excellent!
Don’t forget the mandatory testing of the drill in the air.
Zing zing!
Gotta do it twice to be sure.
And clacking the tongs!
Me, in the middle of tying my shibari bottom: “That’s not going anywhere.”
Does “look, cows” count?
“Hey!” And pointing when you see hay bales is good too.
Yes, but the real dad thing is to say that when you see horses, and say “look, horses” when there are cows.
One time I saw horses and got really excited but forgot the word for them so I excitedly yelled “PUPPIES!”
My family never let me live that down. It’s been over 5 years now, and they still tease me by saying “look, Mom, puppies!” while pointing at horses.
This is a great story coming from the person that runs most animal communities on Lemmy lmao
I was trying to cajole my oldest into accompanying me to brush his teeth or something, and tried to say two things at once: “C’mon, my bud!” and “C’mon, my chum!” (I’m a firm believer that using unusual language helps them develop. And it’s fun!)
Unfortunately, saying them both came out as “C’mon, my bum!” He was three, and still remembers it…
Does making neigh or moo sounds count?
Clicks the tongs
Slaps the hood
Kicks the tire
Yes.
